[gloamingone]

My depression has caused me to become very isolated. I used to have "friends," but after hearing "just cheer up" and "other people are worse off than you," I finally stopped seeing these people. I hate going places due to agoraphobia, so I mainly stay home. To top it off, my car just broke down, so I REALLY feel alone since I can't even go to the store. My son, my boyfriend, and my therapist are the only people I see on a regular basis. I know isolating myself is bad, but I don't know what else to do. Any ideas?

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[spoiledprince]

There's nothing you can do but MAKE yourself go out- I know it's not easy- I restarted the same behaviors and am going on a month of staying inside. !-!
Maybe its time to make new friends, maybe people here who live in the same area and understand your issues. Maybe find things in the paper you would look forward to? All else fails, you can have your boyfriend drag you out like mine does. (I'm kidding, don't do that)
Either way, there are many amazing things waiting outside, it's bad enough being prisoners in our own homes, but it's almost frightening to think we're our own jailers. You deserve to have the life of your dreams and I hope, with little steps, you can finally make it outside. ^-^

[gloamingone]

My boyfriend drags me out to karaoke once a week, and I HATE it. I've been doing karaoke for 21 years, but it's just too much for me now, and he doesn't understand.

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[Pierro]

Hello Gloamingone, I have heard that statement so many times, "cheer up". It really made me feel worse, most people dont understand depression, and for that reason like you I have no friends. Only family and they are stuck with me. I think small steps, are so achievable in a small space of time. Just taking a walk with your boyfriend/son, as I found getting out of the house was very important because for me the more time I spent at home the less I wanted to venture out. Most times I didnt want to go out but as you know you have to force yourself to do the simplest of things. Did you have any hobbies or interests that you could revive. Go easy on yourself, giving yourself a hard time is only a negative and doesnt help your depression. Best wishes.

[gloamingone]

My only hobby outside the home was karaoke, and I'm REALLY not feeling up to a crowded bar with a bunch of strangers who talk to my boyfriend but ignore me. I need to find something else to do.

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[Curupira]

I know the feeling. When I start to spiral I isolate myself. What has helped me is finding other people with invisible disabilities. I can socialize when I am up for it and there is no need for explanations. Maybe an internet search will help you find similar people in your area.

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[Fuzzybear]

Hi, I know how you feel as I've been there before, and I feel that way sometimes too! Unless someone has been depressed before, there is no way that they're really going to understand what you're going through. A lot of times, most people who don't have depression tend to ignore those who are depressed which makes the problem worse!

Is there anyway that you can get your car fixed, or any public transit that you can take? You should try to educuate your b.f about your depression by making him read stuff on here and books as well. He has to at least try to understand what you're going through! There are some groups on here to where you can meet people who are going through the same issues as you in person. You can find a lot of those groups on meetup.com. I've never been to a support group on there, but I have manged to meet some nice women on there who I ended up becoming friends with. Most groups are free, but some might charge a fee if they're offering counseling by a specialist.

Don't let your boyfriend make you go to karaoke. If you hate it, tell him and refuse to go out. It sucks being forced to go out when you don't feel like it. I used to put up with that crap all the time from my husband, but no more! Have him take you to a movie or a nice dinner instead to where it's just the two of you.

[gloamingone]

Tonight is karaoke night, and I don't know what to do. We met at karaoke and I used to love it so much, but lately it's awful. He won't go without me, and he looks forward to it all week. Should I suggest something else or go?

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[s.u254]

desensitization, try leaving your house more in small steps like first step outside for a few minutes, and then walk to the end of the block... keep adding smaller steps, a day at a time. Good luck, when I get sad I also want to be alone I know it's the natural instinct to want to protect yourself, oddly enough this usually when I need most to actually see someone, or atleast write and release my feelings on a forum.

[gloamingone]

We ended up going to dinner instead, which was a nice compromise. :-)

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[Diane23]

Originally Posted by s.u254

desensitization, try leaving your house more in small steps like first step outside for a few minutes, and then walk to the end of the block... keep adding smaller steps, a day at a time. Good luck, when I get sad I also want to be alone I know it's the natural instinct to want to protect yourself, oddly enough this usually when I need most to actually see someone, or atleast write and release my feelings on a forum.

That's really helpful to me. Small steps. When what we used to do isn't working, take baby steps in the right direction.

[LifeIsCruel]

I can relate, as I suffer from depression, panic, and anxiety Due to my diagnoses, symptoms, self esteem, body image, and the general population's lack of understanding of mental health...I CHOOSE to be alone! People annoy me!

Then...I have always compared myself to other men and I always am inferior to them. I have so wished I could trade minds and especially bodies with virtually any man but me.

Yeah...friends!? "Just cheer up and others worse off"...that is a song for most! I know they mean well, but again, it is their lack of understanding!