He's tired of my depression...

The last time I cried to my boyfriend on the phone about the arguments with my family...he told me that it was too much for him to handle. Which is understandable I guess because I suppose he is dealing with his own issues (which he doesn't tell me about).

Yesterday I cried a little bit on the phone (like silently), but I told him what was wrong. I asked him a question "if he thought I was manipulative" like my mother said I was. He said he doesn't know. So he must mean that it could be either right? I stayed calm and didn't blow up or cry more...but I felt hurt because I wanted a straight answer. Then he stayed silent on the phone like the whole conversation was uninteresting or like he was not in the mood to talk. I told him we could "talk" later. Two hours later, I felt better and asked him if he felt the same. He said he was ok...but I can't help but feel like he's disconnected from me or something. So I asked him again if he can open up to me...or if it was something I did. I told him about how he said that my depressed state was too much for him to handle...and I said that if someone were to cry to you about their troubles, that indicates trust. But he shut down and told me that he's not going to say anything to me anymore, that I like everyone against me, and that he's DONE.

I asked why he was done. Why? What I did, and how come he wouldn't tell me why he was upset. He wouldn't answer my calls and just replied with one text saying to give him time.

So I'm concluding that I've been dumped. Go me for completely destroying a relationship. I know that most people with depression are very closed off and hide their emotions...but I'm the exact opposite. I lay all my emotions out, I cry to people, I get visibly irritated, and I yell. The medication has stopped working so I stopped taking it. Something is deeply wrong with me and it's more than depression. And because I am stupid and don't know what it is...I have lost him.

That's not your fault, some people just don't have the mental and emotional strength to help and accept your illness and be supportive. I promise there are a lot of people that do have that strength though, and you'll find one.

I have two really good friends who really do listen to me and try to bring me up. I love them dearly...but I also love him. It is very hard to let go of him...I have been back and forth with him for two years and I feel as though if I really did lose him, then I wasted all that time chasing him...putting up with his closedoffness, and him just saying "me too" back when I say I love you. Right now I feel numb when I think about him. I wonder what he's doing...and if he's ever going to call me back. I know I can't call him because he requested some time away from me...but I can't help but feel like I need to apologize.

It's driving me crazy...

It's natural to miss him, if only because he's been there for so long. I also understand the "wasted time" thinking. I've felt the same way in the past and feel the same way about my relationship with my wife, right now we are seperated, but I invested a number of years into our relationship. It may work out in the future, it may not, but either way, no matter how much time each of us invested in the relationship, it's not worth wasting MORE time if both of you aren't happy. There is always one that is more in love than the other and it sucks for that person (in my case I think it's me, she may say otherwise idk LOL) but in the end it is better for both of you. You can't change his feelings about you, even if you don't agree with them, the best thing you can do is accept them and move on, try again. You will find someone that is emotionally supportive and appreciates your support and company in return.

He may also realize he's an idiot for treating you that way and come back, but be cautious, I wouldn't want your heart being broken again in the future.

You are right. If that is how it is going to be...I can do nothing but accept it and move on.

Thank you so much for responding!

Glad to help and good luck, you will find The Guy

Warning....Tough love coming up (I'm sorry)

"then I wasted all that time chasing him...putting up with his closedoffness, and him just saying "me too" back when I say I love you."

Read this back to yourself and then tell me that you want this person in your life.....

There are better men out there...
Hugs to you and I'm sorry if I offend.

My wife left me because she did not understand mental illness. It took me years to realize that I did not need someone like that to define myself and my happiness in that area of my life.

She did not understand that because I was not bleeding or did not have broken bones that I was still hurting. Although I am still lost, cutting ties with someone who did not understand me and my issues was a good thing.

I at first thought I was dumped as well. But then I realized I was actually saved from being with someone who would never understand me.

No you didn't offend. It's just that he had his moments of affection so I've been holding on to those to get me along. I ended up just ignoring that stuff for awhile and accepting the way he is. But if he can't even accept that there are times that I will be depressed, anxious, or inconsistent, then maybe it really should be over.

I am sorry you went through that. It sounds like things have at least gotten a little better. I hope the same is for me in the future...

Is it normal to feel like I'm losing myself because he is doing everything other than talking to me? His activity is showing up on my Facebook feed and I couldn't feel more dreadful. This is silly.

Can't you eliminate him from your media/phone?

(sorry I dislike social media and so know nothing about it)

BUT you don't need to talk to him for any reason....give yourself a recovery period before attempting to be friends.

But yes, if you're paying attention to his activities, then yes, you will feel badly...
If you want to feel less dreadful, then ignore what he's up to.

Even if to not unfriend him, hide the feed, until he's cooled off in your mind.

I'm curious about talks about depression and anxiety, in relationships. If i cry, it's not because of 'my depression'((an object)), but because of any particular feeling that brings about tears. If I have anxiety attacks, it's also, not an object.
Whatever feeling or mood, can be discerned by tone of voice or expression on face.
It's nice to be seen and to see beyond eaches histories/battles with depression. It's nice to be heard and to hear, to be understood, to understand beyond the object of depression.

Just curious, how Depression, per se, really becomes a point of discussion, like that?

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For many of us it is normal to obsess over the person who left you. It triggers abandonment issues from the past and depression. It can and has been for me in the past the most excrutiating pain I have ever been through. It is a time when the saying "time heals all wounds" does apply. It gets better.
I lost my last relationship because she could not handle my depression. For awhile I obsessed and tried very hard to get her back. It took time and work to let it go.

I understand how you feel I used to be like that ...... well sometimes i still like that but , my doctor told me that this was because I was very impulsive. And as you I left my med and got worst. I got so bad that I wouldn't eat at all, to the point that I had to go to the hospital because when I tried to eat I couldn't hold down the food. With this said, my advise to you is to seek for help even though you feel like your odds are never in your favor and you feel like there is no way out of how you feel. And about your bf or ex-bf, (I've been there to) think of it like this " I need to help my self and get well so that I can share my live with someone as I wish they share it with me"
Belive me it does not help to have someone in your live that doesn't make yoy feel better than your depression makes you feel.
I hope this helps you
I send my love

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