what are your reasons for being alive

Since so far i wasn't successful in suicide.

I should be dead, but they saved me, I was in ICUS twice and CiCU the last time. I really hate it when people say I was saved for a reason, what reason? That was years ago so now I feel that I'm not allowed to die and that my fate in life is to suffer. That and I can not deal will the consequences of not succeeding. I've gotten much better at isolating myself from pain.

I know I should say my family and such but like a few others here I believe they would be better off without me.

Because I don't want to be dead I just want to be in less pain...I think I may very well be a lost cause though, what happens when treatment doesn't work? Is it possible to find enough enjoyment in moments of life to get through the misery that is much of it.

I'm alive for my daughter. She is still a child. I would never take my own life but sometimes i wish that as soon as my little girl grows up and becomes independent and hopefully finds a good guy and marries, God will have mercy on me and take me. My purpose here on this earth will be done. I can't imagine living another 25 years feeling the way i do now.

Quite a provocative question. My reason for *being* alive is a failed attempt to kill myself. My reason for *staying* alive is the goal of living my life on my own with no one in it except me. I don't want my family in my life. I may, at some point, want a friend but it will be on my terms or not at all.

For many years, my spouse has made the inside joke between us that I would prefer to live my life in a cave in Wyoming..... meaning that I want to be a hermit. That's not quite true, but it sure is close. I don't mind living among people; I just don't want them in my life. Not at all.

Many years ago, I pushed away the family I grew up in. A couple of years ago, I pushed away the last real friend I had. Now, I want to push away my marriage family.

The only person I want in my life is Me. And, yes, this is a topic in therapy.

Mulan,
I cannot find a reason. I think there is not a particular meaning to be alive. One has to create one's particular meaning.Not having a reason to live does not mean I will kill myself, not having a reason does not scare me. What scares me is anticipating how much pain I will have in the future. And when I get overwhelmed and have so many problems and little or no help at all. But, again, I am numb and cannot make a list, I do not know if this is wrong or not

I want to die. I am no good.

Nothing. It's true what they say, you have to love yourself in order to love someone else. Since I do not love myself, I love no one. So, honestly, just nothing. At least that's the way I feel today. But tomorrow is another day .... we'll see.

I think that is true. One has to create their own meaning. I am having a very difficult time with this.