[wiltedflower11]

The past couple weeks, I can't seem to enjoy my life. I have been crying a lot again. I'm also on my menstral cycle & I feel that has a lot to do with everything. But, today... I took my nephew out for the day & I even felt detached from him, this worries me b/c he is the only reason I breathe. This lil guy needs me & I need to be there for him completely. I don't know what to do. Also, I have a job that I can't afford to lose. So, taking some time off & going to the hospital is out of the question. I go to my Dr. in 3 weeks... what am I gonna do til then??? I have let a couple people know that I've not been feeling like myself. But, I don't know how to pull myself out of this.

[tigerlily84]

I am in a similar situation. I wish I had some advice for to offer you, but you are definitely not alone.

[Stronger]

Oh my goodness, I know exactly what you're talking about!
When the things that you absolutely love, like your nephew, become so distant even though it's right there. A few months ago during my major depressive episode, I ran away to my sister's house, and she didn't know what to do so she had me play with my nephew. But it wasn't really playing because the only emotion I felt was extreme emptiness.
And you can't take time out of life because you will lose everything you've worked so hard for, and the pdoc appointment is still three weeks away (that's the same amount of time it was for me too). I understand
What my sister first suggested was to move my pdoc appt to be sooner. But she wasn't available any sooner, and I was a danger to myself. It was horribly inconvenient to go to the hospital, but it's basically why I'm still here today.

So I want you to ask yourself a question, and be brutally honest: "Can I trust myself right now?". If the answer is no, then go to the hospital. No buts. You are more important than the money you make. Otherwise, maybe you could try to move your pdoc appt to be sooner than 3 weeks. If possible. Because I know how busy they usually are.

Hang in there, mija. You are strong, and you will make it!

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( wiltedflower11 ))))))))

you can afford to take some time off of work.

(assuming you are from USA) - the Federal Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requires an employer to give you up to 12 weeks off for a 'serious medical condition' for either you or a spouse or a parent or a child.

Clearly suicidal concerns fall under this (I am using FMLA to attend weekly therapy).

In my case my employer pays me while I am off on FMLA - but not all employers have to (the law does not require it).

Either way - my point is you can get help and not lose your job. In fact, using FMLA may position you in a better place that the employer would not dare fire you for fear of you suing them (not that I am pushing for that).

Gods blessings to you.

wiltedflower, I understand how you feel. I love my 2 nieces to death, as well as my brother, but when with them recently I felt like I just couldn't connect. The depression leaves me with little to say, and it's impossible to enjoy smiles and laughter with them. I feel like everyone's in a world that I'm not a part of, so it makes it hard to feel I'm on the same page as anyone or have a true connection.