Daily Check In — Ups and Downs Thread 10

healingme4me · May 10, 2014, 08:08 AM

Son raises a point. In talking of his brothers. Mom, they like Happy. They are infected. I think it's contagious. Take cover.

Tell me, how I am supposed to embrace melancholy? How?

(but i don't really care for that song, that they are youtubing. )

Not looking forward to a drive in the pouring rain. Very pensive, this morning, actually.

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May 10, 2014, 08:49 AM

Well, it's the weekend, and I'm trying not to let my expectations get to high that I'll have a fabulous day today. Hubby is gone fishing, so I'm on my own until about 11:00, when I leave to visit my friend in a nursing home. Am supposed to go with another friend of mine, but she messaged me that she has been feeling depressed (hey, that's my line!). I hope she will go because I really don't want to be all alone today. I guess I could go to the nursing home by myself, but I really don't want to.

May 10, 2014, 10:56 AM

Just tried to discharge myself but the doc strongly advised against it which means my parents now want me to stay too. It is so boring here...!

eggplantlife · May 10, 2014, 11:23 AM

I just want to feel better today. Been working on it all day. It hurts trying.

waterknob1234 · May 10, 2014, 11:50 AM

Saturday. I don't have to work on Saturday. I have been battling bronchitis and flu all week. I can't sleep in my bed because if I lie down I cough. I've been trying to sleep in the lazy boy but I can't sleep as well there. Been getting only 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night so I'm exhausted. I woke up this morning and went right back to sleep in the lazy boy. Just woke up again. I need to get a shower and do some things but I just want to go back to sleep in that lazy boy. Still sick and coughing and I'm just too exhausted to care. Just feel like crashing.

Nammu · May 10, 2014, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Just tried to discharge myself but the doc strongly advised against it which means my parents now want me to stay too. It is so boring here...!

I know it sounds trite, but better boring and safe than unsafe.

StarStrike · May 10, 2014, 01:10 PM

Got soaked to the skin when I was out shopping for my grandparents. Came home and changed into my onesie. Took an afternoon nap. Had intervals of hearing voices but not understanding them. The medication still isn't doing anything. But I've not even been on it for a week yet. So there's still time. I just think, what's the point? It's so dull and rainy, kind of like my mood right now.

mulan · May 10, 2014, 01:27 PM

Not a bad or a good day, a normal one. Weekend I say. Skipped church today, it's getting to be a routine. I have to go tomorrow or my mother will become very upset. Some moments ago, before she went, she was like, I do so much for you, why don't you thank me? Like if my religion choices had something to do we me being grate for what she does for me... Have been trying to study, it's not going so fast as I wanted. That's because I need the pc to study and I have free internet access. I will try a different aproach in the week days, go to the library, even that my computer is to heavy to walk around.
Whetever, I wish I could have a smaller one or a tablet, but my father is not from the new thecnologies time and he thinks they have no use...so... and probably I will have to buy a new mobile phone soon, so. This is not relevant.
But somehow it is good to be at home again with my relatives.

May 10, 2014, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StarStrike

Got soaked to the skin when I was out shopping for my grandparents. Came home and changed into my onesie. Took an afternoon nap. Had intervals of hearing voices but not understanding them. The medication still isn't doing anything. But I've not even been on it for a week yet. So there's still time. I just think, what's the point? It's so dull and rainy, kind of like my mood right now.

How long until you see your GP? Maybe if they are not working by then the dose will be increased perhaps. Don't give up just yet!

StarStrike · May 10, 2014, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

How long until you see your GP? Maybe if they are not working by then the dose will be increased perhaps. Don't give up just yet!

My GP didn't prescribe them to me. It was a psych doc from my MH team who came over for a home visit and wrote it out there and then telling me it would help with confusion and the voices. That reminds me, I need to ask him what the hell is wrong with me. I've already been diagnosed with depression, but I know he's treating me for something else. And thank you.

May 10, 2014, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StarStrike

My GP didn't prescribe them to me. It was a psych doc from my MH team who came over for a home visit and wrote it out there and then telling me it would help with confusion and the voices. That reminds me, I need to ask him what the hell is wrong with me. I've already been diagnosed with depression, but I know he's treating me for something else. And thank you.

Ohh sorry, got the wrong end of the stick!

when do you next see him? Make sure you do ask, it helps to know what is wrong with us I think

and make sure to let him know if you don't see any difference.

StarStrike · May 10, 2014, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Ohh sorry, got the wrong end of the stick!

when do you next see him? Make sure you do ask, it helps to know what is wrong with us I think

and make sure to let him know if you don't see any difference.

I have no idea when. Just that it'll be in a couple of weeks. I usually get a phone call two days before I get a home visit. But I know it'll be on a Tuesday because it's my day off from college and they try to work it around me.

Aiuto · May 10, 2014, 03:09 PM

I cried a little this morning for no reason, just lonely. I came out of it and now am feeling better.

I had just took a big step in removing negative people out of my life this past week which, left me with no "friends" in my state. I feel better now because those "friends" made me feel worthless and a burden in their behavior, actions, and words. Now I am about to go outside and do my gardening and bird watching.

healingme4me · May 10, 2014, 03:14 PM

Tension with step sister, like a knife. So, I'm did this to my kids, did I? Selfish divorcee

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PoorPrincess · May 10, 2014, 04:18 PM

Inability to cry x 10 months (thanks, I believe, to lithium).
I got to watch today one of my all time fave movies, Secretariat, and sure enough Big Red helped me to run my race today, I got to cry. Oh happy day.

I love that extraordinary horse and his owner Penny Chenery as well. I saw him win the fastest Kentucky Derby in 1973. What an amazing being.

tigerlily84 · May 10, 2014, 05:10 PM

My thoughts are all jumbled up. I am exhausted and wish I could hide, but that's just not possible right now, due to family obligations and all. And a certain member of my family seems to delight in reminding me of how alone I am. And no one comes to my defense. Maybe I'm not worth the trouble? I'm so unhappy and no one seems to care.

TheOriginalMe · May 10, 2014, 06:28 PM

Feeling crappy today. I've been bleeding for a month solid now so I guess I'm anaemic, the good thing about that is that I sleep all the time. I wish I could have a bath though.
My mood was begining to lift, but now all the setbacks I've had are gnawing away at me, I'm not worse but I've stopped getting better.

eggplantlife · May 11, 2014, 06:46 AM

Woke up usual 3am. Tried t mediated myself back to help. Tried to listen to positive audio on YouTube. Wrote to someone to pray for me as he is religious because god isn't listening to me. I am in a lot of pain. Thinking about my doggie daughter I had to give up and what a lousy provider I am that I can't provide for myself and a dog. Other people do it! Does this forum thing work?

eggplantlife · May 11, 2014, 06:47 AM

Oops spelling errors mean "Meditate back to sleep."

May 11, 2014, 08:16 AM

It's Mother's Day, a beautiful day out, but I just feel like crap. So tired of this depression. Just want the day to go by fast. Everyone's happy and I'm stuck in this crap. I'm tired of it, tired I say!

tigersassy · May 11, 2014, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newgal2

It's Mother's Day, a beautiful day out, but I just feel like crap. So tired of this depression. Just want the day to go by fast. Everyone's happy and I'm stuck in this crap. I'm tired of it, tired I say!

You aren't alone. Its beautiful out where i'm at too. But I just want to stay inside and cry. I have to go be social because we've got a birthday party to go to, but I don't want to. I'm falling back down the slippery slope to where I was a week or so ago, but there is nothing I can do.

Tig

Sophie0126 · May 11, 2014, 09:30 AM

Gorgeous day outside, I'm going to try to go with that.

My only daughter who cut me/us out of her life for over a year now, sent a token Mother's Day gift with a word processed noted that expresses no love no feeling. It felt like a dagger in my heart causing more bleeding and a flood of tears that can't stop. This is not a peace offering...it's just so she can cross me off a list and make peace with herself that she sent a "caring gift".
I'm going to write her a handwritten note to send it back to her. If I can't be part of her life, what's the point of a "gift". There's nothing behind it.

I hate Mother's Day, some stupid token holiday for commercialism. Mothers should be honored on your birthday...that's when they became mothers, grandmothers, step moms....There are lots of moms who lost children, they don't love this day either...it just brings up heartache and sorrow.

Sophie0126 · May 11, 2014, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorPrincess

Inability to cry x 10 months (thanks, I believe, to lithium).
I got to watch today one of my all time fave movies, Secretariat, and sure enough Big Red helped me to run my race today, I got to cry. Oh happy day.

I love that extraordinary horse and his owner Penny Chenery as well. I saw him win the fastest Kentucky Derby in 1973. What an amazing being.

If you love horses, and need another big cry, please watch the War Horse. It's a beautiful and a heartwarming story. Unconditional love thru the toughest times. Wishing a good day.

mulan · May 11, 2014, 09:43 AM

I'm a little bit anxious. I still do not have sure, but probably this time I'm going to be in a group with two people that I really wanted to know better, specially one of them.
But at the same time I don't want to disapoint them and lose this opportunity of becoming closer to them. Because it is what happens to me all the time with everybody. And I really wanna be friend with these people. This is my opportunity.

Sophie0126 · May 11, 2014, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulan

I'm a little bit anxious. I still do not have sure, but probably this time I'm going to be in a group with two people that I really wanted to know better, specially one of them.
But at the same time I don't want to disapoint them and lose this opportunity of becoming closer to them. Because it is what happens to me all the time with everybody. And I really wanna be friend with these people. This is my opportunity.

You are who YOU are. \ Be yourself. Be your authentic self. If a friendship grows, so be it. If not, you've lost nothing but you gave it a try.

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Daily Check In — Ups and Downs Thread 10

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