[maddnessreturns]

Sad to say bye to my fiancé again today for him to leave for his job. And tired from the hives and Benedryl.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bigmike727]

Well today was fine, just have a bit of paranoia residue from last nights panic attack. When will these attacks just quit already.

[TheOriginalMe]

The weather has been rainy for the last four days, then today the sun came out and so did the midges (mosquitoes, gnats, nasty little bity things call them what you will). I am a magnet to those beasts, I was being eaten alive and everyone else was fine. Itching and lumpy now. Still at least the itching it less bad than depression as all I can think is I want to scratch, don't scratch - I want to scratch, don't scratch - I want to scratch, don't scratch .........

Still meh though.

[msbunnyryu]

Got rejected... Ha...!

[eggplantlife]

Been really bad today. Called hotline this morning. Didn't help. Friend tried to help. Have no hope.

[MysteryMade]

There's stress - No job, no romantic relationship;he doesn't want it like that. Dealing with some serious Separation Anxiety - It was time for me to come home. And! Bills are paid for the month. I found an old, positive-vibe book.
It's a good day; It's a normal day.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll break out the Tarot and make it EXTRA-ordinary.
Pro-Tip: Remembering to for myself alone.

A guy I like just told me that he doesn't like me or see a long term relationship working with me because he doesn't have the patience to deal with my mental problems. I'm sobbing.

Not sure what's left in life for me anymore, besides just trying to be a mother. Not good at it at all, so nothing but guilt for me, and more depression

[lizzyjb]

Ir was told that the wife of someone that i know passed away yesterday. 15 days ago she was discovered a cancer. Feel lucky, my husband is still here. Feel sad, a very bad history. Feel bad, life is so unjust, people who want to die lives, people who want to live dies. Can't understand.

[dandylin]

Anticipation makes me panic.

[sph123]

I had a semi-bad weekend. I was with my sister and her boyfriend, so sometimes things were okay, sometimes I just wanted to be alone and cry in the bathroom. I feel on edge and at the moment, really really sad. I am upset that my ex has happily moved on so quickly and I am alone wondering why no one wants me.

My best friend told me that I have to learn to live my life without the family I desperately want and it's so hard for me to accept.

This is how my day is starting.

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by needarealitycheck

Not sure what's left in life for me anymore, besides just trying to be a mother. Not good at it at all, so nothing but guilt for me, and more depression

Thanks for saying what I wish I could. The guilt that we live with is overwhelming

[tokiwartooth]

I can't stop coughing. And I've been so tired this weekend that it's been unbearable. I don't feel that great on top of it, and I ate something yesterday that made me really sick this morning.

[Fuzzybear]

tired....

[regretful]

Apathetic...depressed and generally gloomy after a weekend of socializing from which I walked away with feelings of jealousy and envy. Happiness was a part of my life once, but as I get further away from that time, the more I forget what it felt like...

Was feeling really needy and clingy with my husband this morning. Just didn't want to be home alone again. At least I got out of the house to run some errands and to go to an AA meeting. Tomorrow I'm going on a picnic with my sister-in-law and niece, so really looking forward to that. Out of the house and around people -- yes!

In general though, the damn depression persists. I've just come to accept it's part of my life now and go to bed assuming it will be with me the next day. I want so badly to not be depressed, it's palpable.

Originally Posted by regretful

Apathetic...depressed and generally gloomy after a weekend of socializing from which I walked away with feelings of jealousy and envy. Happiness was a part of my life once, but as I get further away from that time, the more I forget what it felt like...

I understand the envy and jealousy. I'm extremely envious of anyone who's not depressed, which, apart from this forum, seems to be just about everyone I encounter.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by newgal2

I understand the envy and jealousy. I'm extremely envious of anyone who's not depressed, which, apart from this forum, seems to be just about everyone I encounter.

I'm even jealous when people from this forum start to improve, I think "Why them, why not me?" That is such horrible thing to say because I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I wouldn't want to deny anyone of their recovery. Right now I've had as much of this as I can take and I've no option other than to endure. This is torture and I'm praying for the end.

[JustTvTroping]

Was feeling horrid. Today was the first time I've cried (and I mean REALLY cried-not just a couple of tears) in years. I screwed up on my lease (I filled out everything too early and apparently the school was supposed to be a part of it, but I handled everything on my own) and now I have to deal with the unexpected. I should have remembered why I stopped looking forward to things and daydreaming about them. I always get so caught up in those petty little dreams that I never see what really happening with reality. So...yeah, I'm a little broken.

[Bigmike727]

Well today was horrific. Had to leave school early I was so agitated. Then I found out the legal firm I wanted to work at during the summer already had an intern, so I am stuck out of work there. Just gotta try some other venues now.

[Espresso]

These past few days have been horrible. I hate myself.

[hopeless123]

Originally Posted by Bark

As the last thread reached 100 pages, here's the new one.

How are you feeling today?

All I want is to have a normal life. Every time I turn around it's something else. I am struggling with the fact that I haven't talked to my parents in quite sometime (approximately 3 months), but it's do to me being fed up and I have walked away, abruptly. My daughter's birthday just past and not a single phone call to wish her a happy birthday, mother's day past and not a single phone call from them to wish me a happy mother's day. My father, growing up, was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and my mother left me when I was 3 years old and I didn't meet my mother until I was 19 when I had a lump in my breast and needed to know if breast cancer ran on my mother's side. My mother is a no it all type of person and doesn't know her place with our relationship because she says things and makes comments as if she was always there. My father is a controlling person and I've always taken care of him, literally. I raised myself and had a very depressing childhood that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I was beaten and taken advantage of my whole life, only to be abandoned by my father too, who dropped me off with my grandparents. I feel like I am this whinning cry baby at times, but why do I have to go through all this heart ache still at the age of 33. I was still taking care of my dad and at his "beckon call". He didn't have any regards to the fact that I am a mother and a wife and if all my time was spent with him he didn't care and it wasn't like he asked nicely. The last straw was him telling my daughter to shut the bleep up, I made a promise to myself and my daughter that she would never feel unwanted or scared of her grandparents like I was of my father and mother, still am because I don't have the guts to stand up to them, so I walked away. What do I do? Do I write them a letter telling them how I feel and what went wrong, or do I even care because I've enjoyed the peacefulness that I've obtained from not being around them. However, why do I feel so alone? I felt alone when I was around them and I feel alone without them. Why can't they just be parents like they are supposed to?! Please help. There are a million other things going on with me right now that make it extremely hard to even get out of bed, but this is the one that's bothering me most right now.

[newmercies]

I'm too tired to feel depressed currently. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and I have to wake at 3am to go to work. At work I was tired, irritable and depressed. Now I'm just full of eating too much and very tired.

[nakitakunai]

Originally Posted by Espresso

These past few days have been horrible. I hate myself.

I feel the exact same way.

[herethennow]

having a prolonged bout of down. of which, i'm puzzled about.

i send hugs to those who are struggling too.