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#2
May 01, 2014, 01:49 PM
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I had an exam that I barely studied for, didn't buy the books for it and forgot to bring the printed treadings I did have (it was open book). I hope I did okay; a 70 would be fantastic.
It's such a relief to be done with almost everything. Just one more exam I have plenty of time to study for. I'm also seeing a therapist every week. Finally! In general, feeling good. Bit tired, but good. Let's see how long I can keep it up. 
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 Bigmike727, Clara22, mulan, Nammu, RunningInTheRain, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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 Clara22, healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, seeminglyreal, tigerlily84
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#3
May 01, 2014, 02:23 PM
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I got a nice email today, somebody is doing fine although there is struggle. It made me think I can do it, as well
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
| mulan, RunningInTheRain, TheOriginalMe
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| Bark, healingme4me, Nammu, RunningInTheRain, StarStrike
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#4
May 01, 2014, 02:39 PM
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Feeling like crap. I want to crawl in a hole and sleep forever. I never want to wake up. I hate this
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
| Anonymous37807, Bark, Bigmike727, Clara22, mulan, Nammu, octoberpumpkin, RunningInTheRain, seeminglyreal, StarStrike, texanchica787, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, wildsassysam
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#5
May 01, 2014, 02:43 PM
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If it weren't for my other two, I'd feel a lot worse about myself. A lot worse. Something I hold onto, when these rage sessions ensue. Years, gosh, first attempt with a LISW, tried rewards chart at age of 7? When pediatrician mentioned it was abnormal. Those were hours, day in day out. Better than where it was...
Drained, I'm drained. Then it's been mixed bag, when he turns to his father...coddling, enabling or well, not backed up. He's grounded. Looking at this school provided listing. Not sure...will be third attempt with a counselor. Glad there is bag of sheets right there, that dent looks painted, clearly before me... Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
| Bark, Clara22, Nammu, RunningInTheRain, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#6
May 01, 2014, 04:37 PM
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I'm on a downward spiral and there is no coming back from this one.
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| Bark, Nammu, RunningInTheRain, seeminglyreal, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, tired_girl90, wildsassysam
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#7
May 01, 2014, 05:36 PM
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Well, I have been feeling pretty good today, just got over the main hump of my exams, only a few left to go. The downside mainly is the anxiety attacks, the stress of exams has been triggering anxiety attacks, but thankfully the Rivotril helps that.
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Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin  |
| Bark, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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| Bark, RunningInTheRain
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#8
May 01, 2014, 07:41 PM
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Had an up and down day, the up was anger and anxiety, the down was exhaustion and sleep. Normally, anger and anxiety would be something negative and at the time that's how they felt, but just having the energy to have and feel those emotions feels like a breakthrough.
I'm a touch wired right now, probably because I slept most of the evening.
__________________
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| Bark, mulan, RunningInTheRain, StarStrike
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#9
May 01, 2014, 07:50 PM
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I feel horrible. I am so sad and uneasy and I don't know what to do with myself; I want to do everything and nothing at the same time. I feel like I have to pour my heart out to someone, to cry and be held and not judged while I do, instead of crying alone in the bathroom. But that'll never happen because I have no one.
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| Bark, birdpumpkin, mulan, octoberpumpkin, RunningInTheRain, SadPam, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, waterknob1234
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#10
May 01, 2014, 08:18 PM
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Not really good. But to tired to even talk about it.
Poor sleep...since Sunday...lots of nightmares. Wake up early today, it was an holiday, my neighbour was at home, so I had to heard hear music the all morning. Couldn't sleep anymore. Did nothing but sit on my bed with my computer and watch series episodes I had seen. Detacheded and super lazy. |
| Bark, Kookie1208, RunningInTheRain, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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#11
May 01, 2014, 08:32 PM
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it's an 8pm day, on a 9pm schedule ...so tired, and don't want another blasted Bruins update...lest it changes
Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
| StarStrike
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#12
May 01, 2014, 08:37 PM
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Feeling alone and lost... Even with my supportive and loving boyfriend and friends I still feel like this
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Bark, StarStrike
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#13
May 01, 2014, 10:30 PM
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I feel alright for now, earlier I got offended on another site because someone implied only a mentally ill person could murder their child, which leads to only mentally ill people commit murder...only a mentally ill person could do this vile thing. Well it was BS and I said so, then they still didn't get it so I had to re-explain that one does not have to be mentally ill to do vile things to another human.....just irks me, why are people so ignorant.
__________________
Winter is coming. |
| Bark, Nammu, StarStrike
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| Bark, MotherMarcus, Nammu
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#14
May 01, 2014, 11:06 PM
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So very close to losing temperamentally, lost my glasses, can't find **** here. So frustrated and it's building up on the embarrassment of earlier. Using two pairs of glasses just to try and read. Feel so close to really losing it. Just breathe, telling myself that pisses me off more, I'm in a losing cycle here. Time for a time out!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Bark, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#15
May 02, 2014, 07:54 AM
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Feeling a bit better maybe I'm rising from the deep dark hole I've been in for over a week. I'm doubtful its my med changes, but who knows.
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| Bigmike727, NWgirl2013, TheOriginalMe
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| Bark, StarStrike
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#16
May 02, 2014, 08:16 AM
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Last night, I felt like my mood was slipping. Today, I feel a bit... meh. Don't feel like doing anything; still tired although I slept over 12 hours; haven't eaten a proper meal today. I have leftovers, but I have to do the dishes first. I have a class soon... I meant to do laundry and/or shower; I did neither. I'll see what clothes I have....
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| NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#17
May 02, 2014, 09:04 AM
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Having a more down day than usual, can't exactly pinpoint why. Could be because the weekend's coming up and I detest weekends lately. Could also be because my husband has plans tonight and Saturday without me. I just feel so alone and disconnected from the world. It's only 9:04 and I have nothing to do for about 2-1/2 hours, so I'll just do my usual f***ed up internet stuff.
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| Bark, NWgirl2013, regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#18
May 02, 2014, 09:36 AM
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So this morning after going to sleep reassuring myself that tomorrow (today) would be better, I awoke depressed...again...with little to look forward to, and fewer positive things coming into my life. Could it be that depression is the defining event of my years on earth? It certainly feels that way...
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| Anonymous37807, Bark, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, wildsassysam
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| Avatar10, Downintheblues
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#19
May 02, 2014, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
 
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| TheOriginalMe
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| Bark
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#20
May 02, 2014, 12:15 PM
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WELL IM NOT REALLY ALLOWED TO PUT WOT IM FEELING TODAY DAY NO4 OF NOT EATING I JUST PLAIN N SIMPLE AINT HUNGRY
 N 3 NITES OF NO SLEEP DONT DO ME NE FAVOURS EITHER, HOPE ME MEDS KNOCK ME OUT TONITE BUT NO DOUBT I WILL JUST TOSS N TURN AGAIN N WHEN I DO SLEEP IT IS DISTURBED BY NITEMARES CANT WIN SEVERE DEPRESSION, ANXIETY PTSD AND UNDIAGNOSED BPD MIRTAZAPINE 45MG NORTRIPTYLINE 20MG CYMBALTA 60MG PROPANALOL 80MG DIAZEPAM PRN 
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| Bark, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#21
May 02, 2014, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
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| NWgirl2013
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#22
May 02, 2014, 02:34 PM
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Today's been a day where I've been stuck in re-thinking the choices I've (or should I say my dad has, for me) made in life. One of the library staff said I'm talented and it'd be a waste of talent if I didn't pursue it. My dad encouraged me to study animal management believing art couldn't get me anywhere and I'd got an F in the subject in school. But the staff member told me the education system puts down raw talent and that Einstein had rubbish grades but he turned out to be a genius. I followed my dad's advice and it got me nowhere. The job centre ended up lobbing me in a college for out of work youths. A place where you're babied and if you have mental health issues you get your personal engagement adviser watching your every move, constantly checking up on you. I still remember the day I got into trouble just because I skipped lunch when I had stomach troubles. Today she phoned up the library to make sure I was attending every day. She can't even trust me to go to work experience! I moan and whinge about wanting to quit, but I never actually do because quitting won't make me feel happy. I'll still feel miserable even if I stayed in bed all day. So I get up and try to be useful. Though I'm really not that good at much. Maybe I would've been better off if I'd stood up for myself instead of being tricked into thinking my art is useless and I should give it up because it won't get me anywhere in life. I'm so deep in thought right now. It's all so confusing. What am I supposed to do in life? What is the reason for my existence? Or is it all meaningless because we all die eventually anyway?
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
| Bark, Bigmike727, Nammu, NWgirl2013, regretful, TheOriginalMe
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#23
May 02, 2014, 05:00 PM
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Today I've been having panic attacks over the fact that my birthday is coming up in a couple months. I'm going to be 23, and that seems so old. I know it's *not* old, but I feel like I might as well be turning 80.
__________________
Diagnosed with EDNOS and major depressive disorder |
| Bark, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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#24
May 02, 2014, 06:15 PM
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I am so tired after my half day at the office yesterday. However, I kept busy today too. I took my dog for a walk through the meadows and woods near where I live. The weather was sunny and cold. It was all very pretty and the solitude was reassuring but I'm still a long way from being able to experience true pleasure.
__________________
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| Bark, NWgirl2013, StarStrike
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#25
May 02, 2014, 07:51 PM
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Ask me, next weekend. I'm feeling this coming on strong...
Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
| Bark, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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