[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by StarStrike

I cried myself to sleep last night, thinking about a hurtful thing my dad's fiance said to me while my dad was present. "You need to dress like a woman." But all of my clothes came from the female gender section of the shop. So what if you won't catch me in a dress or a skirt and I like wearing joggers and skinny jeans. So what if I like hoodies and geeky t-shirts. My dad agreed with her. She's so emotionally abusive and yet, it's at night when it hits me and I start sobbing silently. I'm a tomboy. It's who I am. But who I am is wrong in her eyes. Today I just moped around all day in college. I can still feel the impact of it all.

Hey StarStrike, this is her loss not yours. She's missing out on knowing an intelligent girl who's thoughtful and caring. Her loss is our forum's gain and you are doing just fine as you are.

[TheOriginalMe]

I've heard of a double whammy, even a triple whammy, but I'm up to a quadruple whammy

1: Depression
2: Meds making underlying physical condition worse, so doc reduces dose of a/d - Depression deepens
3: Second physical condition results in severe anaemia and associated Depression
4: Meds to treat new physical condition cause (you've guessed it) Depression

I am so unhappy, but being able to care about that unhappiness is beyond me. Maybe if I don't take my new med, I'll eventually bleed myself into oblivion. Would a DNR notice count if it was written whilst depressed?

[Bigmike727]

Well today could have gone better, my father doesn't want to help me with the costs of my education at all. He was never there for me anyway.

[msbunnyryu]

Today went the same as yesterday. Boring and lazy as usual. My mom told me that I should go out and hang out with people. But, I like being in my room. I like being alone.

[bluedolphin92]

Well it's certainly been awhile. I need to stop taking such long breaks from this place, I doubt people ever really remember me when I come back around here!

Anyway, I've been okay lately, I suppose. Got all A's for the first time since starting college, so I'm pretty happy about that. Also, I kissed a guy I've had a crush on since January on the last Friday before finals week. Pretty excited about that because it indicates that he at least kind of likes me back. But also wishing I'd done something sooner. Now that we're on summer break all I can really do is worry that I'll just end up getting hurt...again Really hope something comes of it once school starts up again, and I don't let my own insecurities mess everything up.

[regretful]

Miserable...miserable....miserable...

When depression is in effect (as it is now), even the little things seem like major problems that are going to last forever...misery...

[dandylin]

Is my mental health status so fragile that a comment from a family member can send me spiraling? The answer is yes.

[Pikku Myy]

Feeling a bit more positive this morning

[tokiwartooth]

I'm missing him, I need to see him.

Just feeling extremely lonely and defeated by this depression today. The boredom and feelings of useless continue. I think depression is magnifying every slightly negative thing in my life. I hate this and wish it would end.

[chromegirl]

Today we are having about the most depressing weather (for me, at least) - dark, rainy, kinda cool, kinda hot, very humid. It is an energy-sapper. Still I am trying to look at the bright side- I have the day off work, I am managing to get some things done at home, and I am meeting a friend for lunch for a pedicure. Trying to do 'happy' things. Wish everything wasn't feeling so hard today...

[StarStrike]

Today has had more ups for a change. The only downs were an argument with my brother and a failed attempt at following a recipe. I got my eyes tested today. The optician said my sight hasn't changed much since last time which was three years ago. However, since my glasses are worn out, I was entitled to a free pair of glasses on the NHS. She suggested that I go for lenses that protect my eyes from the glare of a screen. So, I've picked out the new frames I want and chosen to take her advice and I should have my new glasses within a week. I also discovered that garlic sauce goes well with salad.

[chromegirl]

I am sorry newgal2, those days are the worst. I'm in a similar place, everything grey and blah. Hugs to you...

[TheOriginalMe]

Such a fraud. So lonely. So depressed. So worthless. I am nothing.

[Nammu]

I'm very upset, I had an appointment with the case worker who did nothing but tell me to do what I was doing, just try to find something to do each day. That was at 4pm they called the driving service to pick me up and no one came, the buildings all around there close at 5pm, one of the last people out around 5:30 called again on his cell phone, they said again they were coming, at 6:15 the night man came on and tried to call but no one was answering so he drove me miles to my home and stated asking all kinds of questions about boyfriends, husbands and if I drink, smoke etc.......... I'm shaking now, I just got home 10 ministers ago, never again! I'm staying home, it's safer.

[bluedolphin92]

Why do I have this annoying tendency to overthink and worry about everything? Just can't stop thinking about my crush, who I kissed on the last Friday before finals week. I really like him and really hope something will come of it once school starts back up. But I'm so worried that I'll just get hurt again and get my hopes up for a whole bunch of nothing.

[Rose76]

Sore and tired, but otherwise okay.

[msbunnyryu]

I don't have 'friend'. Stop telling me to go out and hang out with people. I like to do stuff alone and be in my room.

[dandylin]

Going gold panning today. I need some outdoor time. Hopefully, it will help

[herethennow]

and so i kinda went on a long break here.. again.

i don't know how i'm feeling, actually. kinda of the down, but not that bad. i'm not too sure where this is heading, either. and im meeting T soon; for some reason i don't feel like going. i don't feel like talking about anything. everything is just "meh."

*sigh*

[Avatar10]

Feeling on edge and extremely depressed
Been having nightmares about my childhood traumas every night
Only good thing, in the dreams I stand up for myself

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bronzeowl]

How strange it feels to be... out of the depressive episode. Been sleeping well, been managing my obsessions over food well, haven't self harmed in a while, been walking my dogs, been dealing with life overall just... fine. Depression still looms somewhere in my mind, but it's not as dark as it was. I finished the semester with three B's and an A. Which is an accomplishment, considering the fact that for half the semester I was so lost in my eating disorder that I was unable to concentrate on drawing a straight line - let alone on learning. Next semester, I'm going to do better. I'm not going to let anything get in my way. I'm aiming for A's. But B's are good, too. As long as I'm passing. And I did pass. So, I should be proud. I'm a little upset with myself for ditching the last day because of a presentation, but I managed a B even in that course. All in all, things are slowly looking up. I'm still isolated, but maybe I can pull myself out of that, even. Baby steps. One thing at a time.

[Bigmike727]

Today for some reason, I just haven't been able to get the ball rolling. It's just like I've been stuck doing nothing all day, like my motivation just dissipated into the air. Anyone else find this happens in depression?

[nakitakunai]

Been feeling weak and yucky since Tuesday and when my physical health is bad, my mental health gets even worse... I just want to be able to leave the house but I can't even do that.

[TheOriginalMe]

In the same place mentally even though my bleeding has responded to meds. I just can't get over this.