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  #1  
Old Jun 24, 2014, 12:13 PM
hey.its.sophia hey.its.sophia is offline
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I can't even explain everything. I feel like I'm trapped. But I don't feel any emotion except feeling depressed. I feel like I don't deserve to be here. Even one of my teachers was like "if you don't like it here then maybe you should leave" I mean yea he was talking about school but I can't help to think it has another meaning.

I wish I had a better life. I probably shouldn't wish for that but everything would be better. I mean I might still deal with depression but then I can hide it better. Or I can at least talk back to the bullies. I really don't think I will ever be like that though so why wish?
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  #2  
Old Jun 25, 2014, 09:33 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Depression can certianly leave you feeling like this. Have you seen a professional and been properly diagnosed? Therapy might help out.

I, too, wish for a better life, which would mean to me a life without depression, but I've dealth with it long enough know I just have to find a way to manage to live with it. Sometimes it's not easy.
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  #3  
Old Jun 25, 2014, 11:16 PM
EglantineRose EglantineRose is offline
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This is exactly how I feel too. I hope things get better for you.
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  #4  
Old Jun 26, 2014, 05:50 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Hello & Welcome, Hey.its.sophia.
What's with the bullies? What's going on and how long has it gone on? (Please don't feel pressured to answer or talk about about stuff that may trigger/upset you.)
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  #5  
Old Jun 26, 2014, 05:52 PM
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  #6  
Old Jun 26, 2014, 05:57 PM
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Hello, hey.its.sophia. Does your treatment team know about what is going on with you?
  #7  
Old Jun 27, 2014, 12:34 AM
hey.its.sophia hey.its.sophia is offline
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I don't go to therapy and I don't have anti-depressants because my family is struggling so I haven't told anyone. I mean if I died they could use my collage fund to keep going. I kind of want them to but I also don't. They are the reason why I'm depressed sometimes. They emotionally abuse me and my sister has told me to go die a couple of times today. I've heard it enough to not cry but it still hurts when your told to die from someone you helped raise. I mean we have never been close but like what the ****? (Pardon my French) I have never really been bullied I mean people talk **** bout me and I agree with them but I don't get beat up or they don't say it in front of me unless they do when I zone out or listen to music... They basically talk **** when I'm not listening.
  #8  
Old Jun 27, 2014, 07:28 AM
Anonymous100108
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Hello Sophia,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling too. And sorry that you are dealing with a moron of a teacher... (at least a moron regarding how to deal with people). I sincerely doubt that the teacher (or anyone really) would have the additional meaning of "leave life".

I think it was just poor communications between the two of you. And perhaps you are a bit extra-sensitive right now.

Either way - HUGS to you, and I hope you get some help.
  #9  
Old Jun 27, 2014, 07:31 AM
Anonymous100108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hey.its.sophia View Post
.... I mean if I died they could use my collage fund to keep going.....
I hate using this line on you - but it is sooooooo true "until you are a parent you really can not understand".

Speaking as a father - I can not express to you how badly I would be crushed if my child would not come to me when they are hurting. And as for the money.?.?.? I promise you - they do not want the money. They would trade everything they own versus losing you.

Gods blessings to you.
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