[glok]

What is is.

[flours]

not good.

ruled out another two potential occupations for lack of money to start and lack of need in society.

[birdpumpkin]

Umm - I didn't go to my second ever therapy session yesterday. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision... I realized about 2 hours before the appointment that it was at 1 PM instead of 2. I had to hurry and get ready/throw on a little make-up, make my son get ready, take him to mom's... I had told her it was at 2, too... On the way I started thinking about not going and at mom's just plain talked myself out of it. I finally had someone in my corner who would actually listen to me, but I don't think I'm going back. I've been feeling somewhat better - anxiety not ever present in the background. Just mostly mornings because I lie in bed trying to go back to sleep but thinking about whatever is going on at the time or bills and getting myself anxious. Nothing is going to help my anxiety over bills but having the money to pay them, so... My other large cause of anxiety I discovered was adult separation anxiety; so just finding that out has relieved me, and all I can do for it is various anxiety techniques that she told me about first visit - that I had already read on the internet anyway. Other than that - just life. I miss my cats and home and am naturally going to feel depressed and down about it. That's how it is. I expect it and can just deal with it. Some days are better than others, and some rare days I don't cry at all. I do feel I'm starting to enjoy life a little more - I'm getting my excitement back for reading and studying French and Icelandic. Been kind of thinking about a part-time job and know of a few places, but with my PTSD I don't want to really overwhelm myself. It doesn't take much right now. We could use the money, though. I just wish our little area here had better choices. I'd love to work in a music store, book store, or pet store. I may check the libraries, but they're teeny tiny and probably don't need any help. I suppose I'm kind of okay today... Just feeling down and kind of lonely. Fall is coming, my son will be back in school next Thursday, kind of feels a change in the air or something that is a little unnerving.

[regretful]

overwhelmed by depression and the feeling that I have, by my own actions and lack of actions, ruined an otherwise good life...it was good at one time - but my decision to leave a job nearly a year ago has plunged me into this abyss. I'm alone, afraid, depressed, and lost.

[tigerlily84]

About to go to my first appointment with this new therapist. I'm very nervous. I was referred to him through my company's EAP program, so it will just be temporary. But I'm hoping to get referrals to a therapist and advice on what to do.

[Avatar10]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

About to go to my first appointment with this new therapist. I'm very nervous. I was referred to him through my company's EAP program, so it will just be temporary. But I'm hoping to get referrals to a therapist and advice on what to do.

(((Hug)))

[Avatar10]

Feeling okay. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend

[TheOriginalMe]

Thunder storms today, I've never liked them they make me anxious and headachy. Moderately OK otherwise, I don't feel enthusiastic but I can function well enough.

[Avatar10]

Originally Posted by regretful

overwhelmed by depression and the feeling that I have, by my own actions and lack of actions, ruined an otherwise good life...it was good at one time - but my decision to leave a job nearly a year ago has plunged me into this abyss. I'm alone, afraid, depressed, and lost.

(((Hugs))) I can totally relate, hang in there. Better days will come

[glok]

Flatlining.

[glitterrosez89]

I feel alone and sad. I want to try therapy, but I do not want my father to know about it, which is unavoidable since I am on his insurance. It would only be a bandage anyway...basically paying someone for company. Maybe someday I'll meet someone who cares about me, and then I won't always be alone anymore. *sigh*

[glok]

The grim reaper is still gaining ground.

[Fuzzybear]

[Nammu]

hungover from the lack of sleep.

[tigerlily84]

The session went well yesterday with the new therapist. I have an appointment with my PCP to resume taking an antidepressant that I took several years ago, and a follow up appointment with my therapist. The new T agreed that I need time off, a month for now, so when I see my PCP on Monday she can sign off on the paperwork, and then I have to turn it in to my job. So, I'm hanging in there. Still anxious over what the future will bring. I mean, what am I going to do for an entire month? I'll figure it out as I go, I guess.

[eggplantlife]

Not doing well. Really not doing well. I need to get myself together before going to work in 30 minutes. Really not doing well. I know keep myself busy but not able to. Really not doing well.

[eggplantlife]

Originally Posted by kelticgirl

I too miss my sister...she has pretty well cut me off because of my depression..it hurts so much..other people tell me she is horrible to do this but I guess it's more complicated than that..I think my depression scares her because she has it too but not as bad as me and her life has remained more stable...it's almost like she thinks I'm contagious..I don't know your situation but I miss my sister too and it hurts big time

Just saw this. Yes, I do believe she cut me off because of my depression and she had enough of it. Yes, it really hurts big time.

[waterknob1234]

It's so bad when family members cut people off because of depression. Depression alone is bad enough. Then for family to do you in. That's a double whammy. Of course I should not speak. I have not had contact with my brother in over a year because he can be behave in a bully type way with me and I cannot handle that right now so I am one to talk.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

The session went well yesterday with the new therapist. I have an appointment with my PCP to resume taking an antidepressant that I took several years ago, and a follow up appointment with my therapist. The new T agreed that I need time off, a month for now, so when I see my PCP on Monday she can sign off on the paperwork, and then I have to turn it in to my job. So, I'm hanging in there. Still anxious over what the future will bring. I mean, what am I going to do for an entire month? I'll figure it out as I go, I guess.

Glad to hear you are getting a break from that job and support.

An OK day for me so far, but pretty quiet. Went to the dentist this morning. I was dreading it. But it all went well, so I'm happy about it. My only friend had gone away for the weekend. He called me, but it's been very brief. Last week I posted that today was going to suck. Well, it does not seem that way. So that's good.

But the one thing that has happened to me to make it a sucky day was unexpected. My back hurt this morning as I was moving around to do things (there was no lifting at all when it happened) and to get ready for the dental appointment. I don't know if my back just hurt because I was stressed out about going to the dentist.

[TheOriginalMe]

Quiet day, took a drive into the countryside, the rivers were all amazing after the rain yesterday.

I had a productive day working on the yard with my wife. We got a later start than we wanted to but made some good progress. Now we are off to see the Jade Buddha and then to grab some burgers. We are hoping to have some people over for a bonfire tonight.

[hope2010]

Today I couldn't get over of this horrible feeling of sadness. Weekends are not easy for me, still I manage to "Get Rid of the Clutter" in my closet. A lot went to the garbage, Yay!
What bother me is that I knew how to get over the sadness and still catch me ... sighs
It's a heck of a Journey, tomorrow I am going to start my day cleaning non stop, I know that would help me to don't get down again .... big hugs

[glok]

Today has been a downer ... not of my doing.

[CastlesInTheAir]

Depression is like being buried alive . Anxiety is like being "petrified" (Harry potter) except we move around in this state.