I can't stop crying. I can't breathe properly. I don't know why this is happening to me again. I'm terrified of it all. I hate myself for letting the depression back in. :'( I need hugs but my family don't care, they hate me. I just want a hug, someone to be there for me so I'm not crying myself to sleep alone each night. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I'm lost in myself, I have lost myself. I have never felt so miserable in my life, I'm closing off from everything. Make it stop. What can I do? I'm hopeless. What can I do? :'( :'( :'(

[Hatter08]

Hi, I know how it is to feel so alone which makes it hard for me to come up with anything to say to make you feel better aside from just being there to listen.
Are you currently on medication or do you see a therapist?

Thankyou so much for replying! Not any more, I was on prozac and saw a psychiatrist and cpn for cbt, but in may my depression was supposedly all gone. Now it's back again. But they discharged me so they think I was fine, it can't be back I can't handle it. None around me seems to deal with it very well either. I just want to stay in bed 24/7 and not face the world. Curl up and disappear. How is it possible to feel so overwhelmingly terribly sad? I want my life back. I want to be happy again

[Hatter08]

Well, if prozac worked for you as long as it did, I would recommend talking to your doctor about getting back on it and maybe seeing a therapist again.

[GreyThinker]

First, Jess.... lots of hugs... I know what it feels like to need them, just to connect with another caring human..... ((((((Jess))))).

Second, you ask why this is happening to you again? Have you considered that you might be reacting to the stress of your college interview tomorrow?? It is quite understandable if you were really scared of that, especially if there is some big outcome hanging on the result. Maybe you are having a panic attack?? They can be horribly worrying episodes in themselves, when you can feel terribly out of control and lost.....

I don't know your family situation, of course, but it is sad that you think they hate you. True, it doesn't sound like you have a very supportive family atmosphere but maybe they just don't know how to deal with your depression and think that letting you cry alone is the best thing they can do? Yes, this is warped thinking, but unless one has had depression, how can one understand what it feels like? Lots of people are just frightened to do the wrong thing - so do nothing. I know that's all my family ever did.... just let me cry, or get frustrated because I couldn't 'pull myself together'. If only they realised how alone that made me feel - like you - but please consider that maybe they don't hate you after all - maybe they are just inconsiderate .

Dont hate yourself for 'letting the depression back in'.... it is not something you have done, it just happens.... perhaps as a result of stress or just brain chemistry again. You may have been fine, and got discharged at the time, but some people have to take these meds on and off, or even all their life. Maybe you need another round of them. Can you call your GP and have a chat?

more ((((( hugs))))...

[Livebythesea]

I feel as you do....can't believe the ugly depression is back and just want to stay in bed. You are not alone! Hugs and come on here when you can.

[jelly-bean]

I can see that you are hurting badly and I'm sorry for that. I think you should see your doctor about getting back on the prozac. It's hard for people around you to understand what is happening to you. It isn't that they don't care, they just don't understand.

[alone in the world]

Jesse 95 I completely feel you so deep within myself and If I was around I would offer you that hug that you so need. I understand the depression rearing it's ugly head and feeling lost, but going back on meds can't hurt and reaching out will allow you to release some of the pain. speak with your DR and look for some sort of support group until you decide to go into therapy. ((((((HUGS))))))).

Thank-you. It means so much that people care. I really totally appreciate it, I feel like I'm losing my mind and losing control! x

[dailyhealing]

My own experience with depression is very much like you describe. All those feelings you describe sound very familiar to me. I'm older, 42, and have dealt with depression since my teens. Didn't start getting treatment until my early 20s. I used to go off my meds once I started feeling better. It kept coming back. I finally realized I needed to stay on meds to keep it away. My brain chemistry is just wired towards depression I guess. It's not your fault, it's an illness. Most of society doesn't understand that yet, but it's an illness like anything else. And like any illness you have to treat it. I am glad you are here and posting.

When you were on the prozac was it better? Was life more managable? Maybe it's worth looking into getting back on meds if they worked before. Take care and keep letting us know how you are doing.

[Emotionally Dead]

I am glad you have already received some very heartfelt replies. I think we can all relate to what you are going through right now.

Unfortunately, depression has no cure. You can take medicine, and it might subdue it, but it won't ever make it go away forever. It is something we have to deal with in life, and when bad things happen or obstacles come between us the depression will come back.

The good news is you won't always feel like this. While depression does cause us intense emotional pain, when we do find some happiness it is a strong feeling and we can really appreciate it.

We all feel alone sometimes as well, and sometimes we just need someone to talk to. While I may not be there physically, I would be happy to talk to you. If you ever need to, don't hesitate to PM me. Take care .

[Apav]

Lots of love to you, I most certainly can relate to the pain you're experiencing, the wanting to shut yourself off from the world. It's unbearable even now, so I hope that joining the site today was a good decision. I hope I can get the help I need. Maybe try talking with people? I'll be on regularly so I'm always here to talk! Hang in there

[Turtlesareawesome]

Originally Posted by Anonymous33440

I can't stop crying. I can't breathe properly. I don't know why this is happening to me again. I'm terrified of it all. I hate myself for letting the depression back in. :'( I need hugs but my family don't care, they hate me. I just want a hug, someone to be there for me so I'm not crying myself to sleep alone each night. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I'm lost in myself, I have lost myself. I have never felt so miserable in my life, I'm closing off from everything. Make it stop. What can I do? I'm hopeless. What can I do? :'( :'( :'(

I'm so sorry to hear that I feel that same way too but it only lasts a couple of days. It's very scary but I am getting help from a therapist. Are you getting help? It's really helping me and I really enjoy it <3 I wish I could give you a hug! Try to smile :3 I don't feel too good right now... Wish me luck!