Is it really about faking it til you make it?

I've suffered from depression all my life. I've been on meds for about 10 years. I so want to stop crying and feeling like a burden. I don't want to take my life as it would really hurt those I love. However, I'm just so tired of living. I've prayed over and over for God to take me. But He won't. It's not like I haven't tried- educated, good worker but oh so tired of the crap in this world. The unfairness of it all. My doctor said my dosing is already high. So now what? I mean is it really just physically getting your foot out of bed and faking it til you make it?

People say that by faking it, you will 'make it', but I've been faking it my whole life and have yet to have it work out. I've come to the conclusion that the people who say this have no idea what they are talking about. Meds haven't helped me. Neither has therapy. I have no suggestions for you, but maybe it will help to know that you're not alone?

*Willow*

I hate that expression. Like weepingwillow said it's yet to work out or make things better. I'm tierd of trying to fake strength or energy to deal with every day life.

A month ago I had some really big events that I wanted to be a part of, I was horribly depressed (but probably starting to improve due to new meds). I resolved to go along with everything and not spoil anyone else's time and to be part of those events no matter how bad I felt on the day. What happened was I got carried away with emotion and all the good feeling, excitement and atmosphere and just by being there I laid down some really good memories. At the time I didn't know whether I actually enjoyed myself or if in the moment I was happy, I just refused to allow my depression to get in the way of living for five days. Maybe that was faking it?

Well the good news is that it didn't hurt or harm me, it was exhausting for sure but with the way I was feeling then breathing was exhausting. At the end of it all, my mood fell somewhat flat while I dealt with the physical and emotional exhaustion but it didn't fall through the floor either. Now I can look back on what I did and have good memories of the time instead of the monotony of another depressed day.

My point is that it all depends on timing and focus. With the right stimulus then getting up and doing something positive can be hugely beneficial, but only if the timing is right. If you are on the downswing then the risk is that whatever you try won't be enough or it will overwhelm you. If you are at rock bottom then maybe you won't have the energy to initiate or sustain the effort. So in my experience the best time to try is when you have something special or important to aim for and when your meds/ therapy/ other treatment or coping strategies are kicking in a bit.

Until then, there's no need to fake anything just be yourself and concentrate on keeping at least comfortable and safe.

Hi Want. I too have dealt with depression my whole life. I don't think it's so much 'fake it till you make it' as it is 'if you get out of your rut you might begin to feel better'. I also begged God to take me at different times, but He refused my request, so I figured He wanted me to live. It's important to find something to get excited about, religion, school, a hobby, a new relationship (not necessarily romantic, could be a friend, penpal). Also, making an effort to think positive thoughts and keep the negative away helps. I hope you feel better soon.

I find it works for me when I am on the upswing. Going from severe to moderate I can force myself to do things that will snap me out of it. When in a severe state nothing works.

I have also prayed to god to take me many times. I am still here fighting depression. Faking it has gotten so old and tiring to me. I am either doing good or I am not, no more faking.

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Hi, I am getting tired of faking it myself. I either feel good or I feel horrible. There are certain things that help me to feel better but it does take a great deal of effort and energy to do those things. If I did not have family around I would probably have curled up in my bed and given up long ago. Best of wishes to you.

Faking it? Nah. I have resorted to isolating rather than trying to present myself in a manner I loathe.

Thank you everyone for sharing with me. Your experiences are so very similar. I often wonder, 'Are you listening God?" or is His silence the answer? I just don't know. Life is hard. Very hard. I, too, have a wonderful family but worry that my depression is such a burden. That only exacerbates the guilt of not wanting to do a darned thing except curl up and hide.

Can't say I fake it, but I go through the motions when I can. When I can't, I stay at home or away from people. Luckily I've been able arrange telecommuting with my job. I don't think faking it is a good idea, suppressing emotions is something my T says I should not do. Hasn't affected me in that bad of a way in he past, one time I snapped at a few coworkers and I was approached by HR, they were understanding. I got a little time off. And to my credit the people I snapped at are assholes to everyone, and I got a few pats on the back from others. And I don't get sht from them anymore.

But don't read this and go off on people at your job, you might get fired, lol.

I am also really tired of faking it. I feel like I always have to put this front up, especially around my parents. I dont want to hurt my parents feelings, and I dont want them to know how depressed I am feeling, but I think I am also hurting them by not telling them. I feel like I cant win, because if I would tell the truth they would probably want to send me somewhere or admit me to the hospital. I am trying not to be fake, but I am struggling.

It certainly does not work for me maybe it helps some social interactions go more smoothly....but I still feel like crap on the inside, and faking it takes more energy than one might expect.

Faking never truly worked for me. After a few years, you could only kid yourself for so long. It only helped me be a better liar...although I'm happy that the amount of random strangers asking me for money has decreased due to saying 'No'...

I recently have just been putting it out there. I am not faking it anymore if it is too much for someone out the door you go. I need people who understand, or at least try too because they truly care. Others, I no longer care what they think it has taken a long time to get to this point and maybe the worse possible depressive state I have been fighting ind as of late. On the good note from it I find it a strange way it is making me stronger a little angry too at peoples BS's.

Hello,

from personal experience I do not think so, I have tried this before and have been found at every time.

Might be different for you though it is stressful doing it this way.

Oh, how I wish I could smack those who bandy that phrase about. If life is, indeed, a battle, this reminds me eerily of the scenario described by Kurt Vonnegut:

I'm running out of time and can no longer afford to fake positive feelings; if I'm to have any hope of genuine happiness, I can't be dishonest about my hurts anymore.