[SimonSays1]

I was abused throughout my childhood which left me with deep and long term emotional problems. As a result, I spent most my young adult life in therapy. I am in my 30s now and unfortunately financially unable to keep up with expensive therapy sessions. I am trying to treat my depression myself at this time (have no other choice). I discovered buddism and mediation. I practice with monks which are practically therapists in their own right. This has help immensely!

I also have been reading self help books. Currently I am working with a CBT book and preforming all the exercises. There has been a exercise I have been struggling with. I am to recognize my negative cognitive destortions (as they occur) and write them down when I catch myself shifting into a depressive mood. I am then to label the thoughts and categorize them accoring to the type of destorted thinking.

My dilemma:
I am having a hard time recognizing, labeling, and categorizing some negative thoughts that are causing depressive feelings. I am often asking myself why I am feeling a particular painful feeling (due to it's automatic nature). Could this be because of the systematic psychological and emotional torture I endured as a young child. Does anyone else have difficulty recognizing a particular thinking pattern that may creep up from time to time?

I do struggle immensely emotionally.

[waterknob1234]

I am in your same boat in a sense. I cannot afford to see a therapist so I purchased a book on CBT to treat my depression. My medical doctor has prescribed my antidepressant meds. I also find practicing my spirituality helps when I get self-disciplined enough to make time for prayer and reading my Bible. I have had some trouble with the CBT. In the first place it hits home too hard. I find all the examples of distorted thinking apply to me. I also have difficulty recognizing and naming the particular negative thought that causes the depression. I only know it is a distorted negative thought. It's like going back to school but this time I can't seem to absorb the material intellectually like I could when I was in school.

I am doing the exercises. I have just started this book so I hope as I progress I will absorb the material.

The main abuse I endured during my childhood was bullying in school. I had loving, caring parents and a good family. I may have been a little too sheltered in my family. I lived in an environment where there were more adults than children. I missed having children to play with in the neighborhood. Most of the children I associated with were at school. I had some friends in school but I will never forget the bullying that I had to endure in grade school.

I wish you the best and I want to see your efforts pay off.

[Fuzzybear]

[Agentfyre]

CBT takes time. And it works differently for everyone. Be patient with it and it can help.

Recognizing and labeling distorted thoughts is difficult without someone (a therapist) to guide you. This makes perfect sense: If we saw how our thoughts were distorted, we'd easily fix them ourselves. In this way, I may not realize how a certain thought of mine is an overgeneralization because to me, it's true! That's where the true hurdle is. Often times people need to learn to trust their therapist to help them see how their thoughts are distorted.

If you cannot afford a therapist, there is also coaching, which is cheaper. Even still, you can rely on close friends, as long as you trust them, and get their honest opinions on how some thoughts may be distorted. The only problem with this is that they won't be trained and may give you advice that is more harmful than helpful.

Either way, you will come to understand your own thoughts more and more over time. And as you do, recognizing them will become slightly easy and quicker, then labeling them will do the same. As you continue to practice, it will become more and more natural. For me, it took years to root out the cognitive distortions I rely on, and I still find them today. I always will. But now I have the tools needed to combat them.

You have our support. You're doing great, just keep going!

[dandylin]

I am working CBT w/T. I find it very painful and have a difficult dealing with the issues head on. My T is insightful enough to go around the house and through a window or back door. What I'm trying to say, some emotions or situations are too painful or trigger too easily to deal with in a front-on manner.

[SimonSays1]

Thank you all for your input. Fortunately I am able to successfully identify several negative thoughts but a few are evading me. I have been learning to cope with these unidentified causes that make me feel crummy at a particular time.

I tell myself that although I may not know the cause of my current pain, it is nothing more than a negative thought causing it all. Most likely automatic and conditioned. But if I tell myself that my thoughts and emotions don't necessarily mean the truth, I begin to feel a little better.

I also forgot to mention that I been attending support groups (through the meetup website). The main group I participate in focuses on staying positive.

[Purplesept2007]

Dear SimonSays1,
Sounds like you are doing great with the tools have. Cognitive distortions are hard to swallow even though my therapist and I work on this all the time. Sometimes it still surprises me when she says something that for some reason I am not recognizing as of late. Hang in there.

[Roxygirl816]

I too have been working with CBT and sometimes it is very hard to identify the type of distortion. I have a hard time even remembering what they all are called. I have an app on my phone that helps out tremendously with this. It's called Depression CBT or if you can't find that one pretty much any of the CBT apps do the same thing. You put in the thought you are having and then it gives you options for the type of thought it is and then suggestions on a way to reframe that thought. It also has the definitions of all the different types of distortions you can have. Not only does it help you learn it, it also serves as a record so you can see your progress. Hope this helps, CBT takes alot of mental energy but it seems to be working.

[loophole]

Cbt I have been a fair amount in partial hospitalization. . It's been almost the only thing to help me some.. but like you guys have said it's rather hard to "tap into"... I did an emdr treatment last week and was completely amazed by that experience. .. it was nothing at all what I expected (even though I read up on it before hand), my body felt completely different afterwords... I was able to live in the moment so to speak since the first time I can remember... after that I've noticed a better processing at php... it's obviously not a quick fix and I will be doing more but it gave me a sense of hope like I can do this after all... good luck with yours..