want to give up

i just want to give up, give up trying and just do nothing anymore. i feel like i have lost everything i loved in less then a year. i keep struggling and pushing to try to get those things back and be the person who i once was. i try harder and harder but all i seem to be doing is going backwards. my head is so cloudy and i cant see, i feel like im trying to get out of my body, a body that feels dirty and dark. i look around and everything i see seems like it isnt real, i cant explain it. i sit down and ask myself, what makes me happy? but everything that did make me happy and made me me, i have lost. i dont know where to turn. no one understands me and how i feel so i dont bother saying anything anymore. i dont wanna push anymore.....

Hi Bryan, You don't have to give up. We never stay the same. Have you sat and watched the sea? Each wave? A new wave with each ebb and flow. Unyet still part of the "whole". You don't have to push, its ok to sit and rest for a while.

Bryan, We have spoken before. You are a fighter. It's time to begin the healing process. PM me if you need to talk. I've been right where you are, for the same reason.

Wow ... Bryan, I can completely relate to what you wrote above. Life just doesn't seem fair right? Like no matter how hard you look, or where you look, you can't find what you are searching for. And this reality that your living in just doesn't seen like its happening because everything is such a blurr, and you're so lost that you don't know where to turn.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you too ... Do you have anyone that you talk talk to about how your feeling? A T or a close friend/relative? Talking can really help .. it may seem really hard to do at the time, but if you continuously try, it will make you feel a little more grounded. If you don't have anyone .. do you do any journaling? That can be just as affective to put how your feeling down in words, and just knowing that they are "out" of your system, even for a little while.

Try and remember what it was that made you happy before .. do you have any sort of hobbies or sports that you are interested in? Art or Music? Its just important to realize that not all is lost. You have once felt happy, and while it may seem like you won't feel that way again, you will get back to that place. You can do this.

((((((((hugs)))))))))
Jacqueline

Hi bryan...unfortunatly I feel almost the same thing that you feel right now. I just want to tell you, that I do know how you feel, and your not alone! believe me. I am always here to talk if you wanna get on chat or pm me one day. I know its extremely hard and i know how you feel about nothing feeling real. it sux. so, just wanted to let you know that we care and we're here!