crying.....

do you ever feel so lonely
even in a crowd
when people are laughing
and music is loud

i watch other couples
who are happy and stare
in each others eyes
i wish i were there.

seems such along time
since my heart skipped a beat
when i looked at my husband
and life seemed so sweet.

19 years gone,
i miss what we had
he used to be loving
but love just went bad

i ache for affection
so sad it may sound
but now more than ever
i sink to the ground.

my head in my hands
for a love that is lost
its not much to ask for
just a hug i want most.

i may ask too much
but for now i need care
need to be held
know that someone is there.

my heart's crying out
need strong loving arms
my past's going to haunt me
i can hear the alarms.

my head rings with fear
of what memories will bring
a wound tearing open
to spill everything.

doubt and despair
and the need to take flight
to get in my car
and just get lost in the night.

but cant run away
have to face all my demons
have to make myself better
for so many reasons

i'm sorry already
if i come back upset
please stay with me through this
i may need you yet

when i'm over the worst
i'll be here for you
to give my advice
and to help you through too.

jinn xoxoxo

((((((((((((((((((((((jinny))))))))))))))))))))))

wow jin......you are so self revealing lately and i admire your courage and love the words you share. It makes me feel so less alone.

keep working through it, keep being strong. Thinking of ya often. xoxoxo

Sweet (((( jinny ))))

*Wipes away your tears*

There must be so much going through your mind right now. Hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. Know you are not alone in your quest to find peace...we're here to hold you up when you are weak.

I'm here if and when you need me my friend....you are so strong, I'm in awe of you.

xoxoxoxox
Jean

thankyou guys i love you so much. i feel really sad today. worked up about the the whole 18th thing, went fine. maybe just relieved idk.

so need to feel loved at the moment by tony really, just dont. i have you and i have my friends and kids, just doesnt seem to settle me. i want to be needed and held and shown real love and i feel stupid and weak saying it. i just wish my husband was more attentive and strong.

i was always the strong one, now i'm weak he just doesn't have a clue how to deal with this. kerry xoxoxoxo

(((((((kerry))))))))))
wish i had cyber arms to give you a big hug.
im so sorry you are feeling unloved at the moment, hope it gets better for you soon.
hey kerry i shouldnt say this as most men on here will string me up, but..... most men are weak, we dont show our feelings very well. have you shown him any of your poems ? that may do the trick, or kick his butt and try to tell him how your feeling. he may understand the writen words better then the spoken, (i have the same problem, i find it hard to open up my feelings in spoken words)

my dear friend
dec xox

Hello Jinny.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your life at ths time. I will talk to you soon. Take care Soidhonia. PM if you wish.

((((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jin))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((JINNJINN)))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((jinn))))))))))))))