[secretgalaxy]

I told my friend that I was suicidal and after some begging from her, I finally allowed her to tell my T. She use to go to her before, as well. She emailed her and told her that I needed help and my T wanted to see me today, so I went. I told her 95% of how bad it is. She wanted to tell my mom and possibly get me in a hospital, but I was able to talk her out of doing either. I'm seeing her Friday again and she made me promise to go, and I can't break promises. But I am really worried about this weekend. I don't know if I can fight anymore. I just wish all of this could go away...

[sideblinded]

(((secretgalaxy)))

I am so sorry that you are so worn out. I feel your pain as I have depression and that wears me out, too. I have a wonderful sense of responsibility that has saved my life many times. If I give my word, I will do it. It sounds like you have a sense of responsibility just like me. I believe that you will honor your word and see her Friday. What can it hurt? There is time to feel better. Time is always your friend as feelings always change in time. Please just give it some time. I trust that you will feel better in just a little while. I also trust that you will call someone if you feel worse. You will be ok. Do you take any meds to help with your feelings?

[secretgalaxy]

Thanks Sideblinded. I am going to try my best to keep my word to her to see her Friday, but the weekend is worrying me the most. I have been in similar situations like this, but this time, it feels a lot different. I have tried giving it time to see if it will pass, but the more time passes the better my plan gets and the more I want to just go for it. But now that T knows, I kind of feel trapped...

I don't take any medication for my depression, but T has brought up the idea quite a few times. My mom doesn't believe in medication, especially for mental disorders. That's why she knows nothing of what is going on at the moment and I want to keep it that way, but I don't know if I can.

[sideblinded]

Originally Posted by secretgalaxy

Thanks Sideblinded. I am going to try my best to keep my word to her to see her Friday, but the weekend is worrying me the most. I have been in similar situations like this, but this time, it feels a lot different. I have tried giving it time to see if it will pass, but the more time passes the better my plan gets and the more I want to just go for it. But now that T knows, I kind of feel trapped...

I don't take any medication for my depression, but T has brought up the idea quite a few times. My mom doesn't believe in medication, especially for mental disorders. That's why she knows nothing of what is going on at the moment and I want to keep it that way, but I don't know if I can.

I really wish that you will tell your mom the way you feel. Are you in any position to get medication from a doctor as I don't know your age or ability to advocate for yourself? Depression is real and meds can help. Is there anyone you trust who you can call? I really wish you would get help now before the weekend. It is just a phone call. Help is out there.

[secretgalaxy]

Originally Posted by sideblinded

I really wish that you will tell your mom the way you feel. Are you in any position to get medication from a doctor as I don't know your age or ability to advocate for yourself? Depression is real and meds can help. Is there anyone you trust who you can call? I really wish you would get help now before the weekend. It is just a phone call. Help is out there.

My T was talking to me about it, but I don't think I can do that. I just can't go behind my mom's back and be put on meds. Won't it be put on my medical record? I don't think I want that... I will be seeing T on Friday, and if I can't make the promise to come back on Monday, I don't know what she will do. The biggest thing is that I while I know I need help, I don't particularly want it, as I just don't think I can be helped anymore. I got it anyway, and now it's making me feel trapped. My mom won't understand if I tell her as she has a lot on her plate too at the moment. Plus, even though our past wasn't all that good, we survived and now we are at a better place. She won't be able to understand why I feel this way. I don't even know why I feel this way.