Am I?

Currently I am a high school sophmore. Nothing really dramatic has really happened in my life. It's just that I'm not the person I once was. In junior high I was one of those people that were considered "the life of the party." I had MANY friends and an extremely cocky attitude. Now, I nearly have the same amount but I'm a completely different person. When I'm with my friends I barely talk and I often feel out of touch with everyone in my life. My self-esteem has also plummeted. I used to think that I was so popular and attractive, but no I feel that no one likes me and that I'm the ugliest person ever. My grades have also gone down, but not significantly (only because I would get grounded.) I used to have a GPA of 4.1 but on my last report card I received a 3.8. I also feel extremely lazy and I procrastinate everything, which in turn disrupts my sleep cycle. I used to go to bed every night at 11:00pm or 11:30pm but no I find myself going to bed at 3:30am. I just feel like i'm aimlessly drifting through life. Also I'm not as interested in school as I once was. I used to love to learn and I aimed to get and A+ on everything, but now I'm satisfied with anything that's and 80 or above. I'm just not really happy anymore. I'm also constantly wishing that things could be like they used to. I just miss the feeling of being completely happy without a care in the world. I miss those days where you were so happy you thought you might explode. I'm just not really happy at all anymore.

Am I depressed?

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. I am at the library at this time and my time is limited. I will try to leave a longer message at a later time. Take care and good day.Soidhonia

Hello PI.
I am sorry that you feel that you are not thriving at this time. I would sincerely say that if you feel that you are not happy with the changes in your life, then you need to seek the help needed to feel better again. This may mean seeking the help in the way of a physical, and seeking a professional therapist, to assess your situation to help you regain some of the happiness you are missing at
this time. I hope the best for you in the future. Take care and good day Soidhonia

i second what is said above. try to get an appointment to see a medical doctor and ask to see a psychologist/therapist.....having a good medical checkup would be a good place to start.......keep us updated.....pat

Well, I've talked to my parents but I just don't feel like they take me seriously. When I told them yesterday they said that it was probably because I wasn't getting enough sleep. So I went to bed at 10:00pm and I slept until 12:00pm the next day. And I still felt the same. I told my mother and she said that she would make me an appointment, but I just don't feel like it's going to be soon enough. I sometimes feel like I need to do something drastic before they take me seriously.

On another note, it's currently 1:17am and I've barely done any of my homework. I'm just not motivated anymore. Sometimes I want to drop out all together, which is very surprising coming from my mouth. I used to get all A's and I dreamed of going to an Ivy League College. Things just aren't like they used to be .

Appointments can never come soon enough or are long enough - you need to double book - I always feel like we are just getting started and its over.

I'm sorry your parents aren't quite on the same page. When my 11 year old came to me and said he wanted to talk to someone - we set it up right away. Of course with my anxiety/depression and possible BPD and my ex's OCD, ADD, and Eating Disorder we probably act a little faster than most.

Hang in there...

((((((((PI))))))))

just keep trying its all we can do sometimes.. it may seem hopeless rite now but u have an appt now just gotta get to that.
small steps

To start off I would like to thank everyone for all the comfort and support you've given me. It has really helped a lot.

But today was the cherry one top of a really dreadful week. Normally, I'm great at test but today was different. Fifth period I had a Geometry test in my Honors Math 2 class. I thought it would be like any other test, but I was VERY wrong. For some reason I couldn't concentrate. I think I read the first problem 25 times and I still couldn't comprehend what the question was asking. It wasn't like I didn't know the material because after 30 minutes I was finally able to concentrate and apply myself and some of the problems. It was more like when you read a book while the tv or radio is on and even though you've read it if someone gave you a quiz on it you wouldn't even be able to tell them what occurred in the story. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? And If so, Is this normal?

So anyways, I only did 14 out 30 problems so there is not question as to if I failed. It was the first test of my life that I have failed. That was the LAST straw. I went to the bathroom and called my mother crying begging her to pick me up for school. Eventually she agreed. She called the doctor's office and talked to them to see if I could get an earlier appointment (my appointment is currently set for April 19th.) The doctor told my mom that she would call her later in the evening and she did. She talked to my mother for a few minutes and then to me. She asked me how I was feeling and I told her. After talking for a few minutes she said that she would try her best to get me an earlier appointment. I hope it comes soon.

i'm so glad your mom called the doc..........good for you!!!!! xoxoxo pat

Parents woke me up this morning... Ate breakfast.... Fell asleep on their bed... Parents woke me up and told me to get dressed... Went back to sleep.... Parents woke me up a second time and told me to get dressed again... Told them I didn't want to go to school... We argued... I won... Stayed home... Didn't wake up until 2:40pm...Found out my appointment got moved to April 10th (still not soon enough)... Watched a movie... It sucked... Parents and sister came home... Sister's boyfriend came over... I got annoyed and went upstairs... Played video games and watched tv.... Now it's 2:07am and I'm sitting here wondering why I'm so wide awake and where my day went.

11 days to go!! you can make it.. hang in there ok

Thanks for all the support bronee if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.

Is there anyone that you can talk to-- a school counselor, an area mental health center, a call center( where you can call a number and talk to a counselor or support person )?
There may be a resource out there that you can connect with until your appointment. I know that before I was first diagnosed with depression- I knew there was something wrong but had trouble reaching out. I used what was called a warm line ( a caring friendly supportive voice on the other end of the phone) and it really helped. There are a lot of people that care and want to help.

I do have a school counselor it's just that my moods vary dramatically. One day I'm really sad and I feel like talking and other days I'm extremely cranky and if anyone even talks to me I just start screaming at them for no reason. Does anyone know if this is normal?

I know I've experienced similar bouts of irritability. I guess it's part of my depression. Sometimes I feel really blue and other times I'm terribly short tempered and take offense at everything.
People that work in this field understand this. Don't let it stop you from talking to them. It may not seem like it helps alot at first but I found that it really did help.
i've done much better since taking medication-- it's not perfect- but what is!
Remember you are not alone- there is help for how you are feeling.
Hang in there-- I hope things get better soon.

Thanks for the support and I'll try to find some time to talk to my school counselor. The weird thing is that I think I've always been depressed but just didn't notice it. I'd be out having a good time with friends and then all of a sudden my mind would drift and I'd be sitting there thinking of just how unhappy my life is. Also, when I started to go through puberty I was just so angry and I didn't know why. I'm surprised that my parents didn't notice something was wrong. My father, two of my aunts, one uncle, and one of my cousins have all suffered from anxiety.

Aw. I'm also a sophmore in highschool. I'd love to have a 3.8GPA. Ahhh too bad I havea 2.9GPA and ADD and no @$*#(@& meds yet....gotta wait till July So there's nothing I can really do right now. But just hang in there, you are depressed but just try keeping your head up. I know sometimes I feel like breaking-down crying for just screaming and cursing at people but I try to keep my head up. If I didn't, I'd probably be 100x's worse because I wouldn't be able to let all my sadness out and it was just lead me the wrong way. But just keep your head up, let me know how things go. And I would NEVER go to my school counsellor, I'd be too afraid too since I don't know him. I used to SI, smoke, and drink just to escape reality. But hang in there, if you need anything, you can always PM me because I can relate (except having good grades) but I know how highschool is, plus we're the same age! But keep in touch and keep your head up!

Love,
Jessica

Wow. We do have a lot in common. Sadly, I also self-injure (started recently.) And I drink too. We're pretty much twins. Haha... Just kidding. But we should seriously talk more often.

TODAY: Sucked. It was extremely long and extremely boring.

I need my appointment NOW.