Well it's that time now. Time to give up on all this bull ****. I'm sick of everything being hard and never getting better. I'm sick of being sad and in pain. I'm sick of my son not listening to me or the fact that I just don't want to try anymore. I'm not going to commit suicide or anything. I just give up on trying. I don't want to leave my son so I'm not going to but I just don't want to try anymore. Not with a job or anything. Just done.

[gayleggg]

Hi, zpe263, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time right now. I'm in the same shape, except I do work, but that takes all the strength I have and I don't want to be here either. I would like to quit because I'm tired of the depression, too.

I'm sorry your son won't listen to you. You don't say how old he is but it's a shame he won't listen. I hope you take the down time you need and that it replenishes your strength.

[glok]

Hello, zpe263. What are the positives of not trying to get better?

I feel like if I quit trying I will finally get some peace because I won't care anymore about being depressed or bipolar, just accepting that it's going to stay that way.

[Rohag]

• Bipolar
• 7-year-old child
• Accounting classes
• Job search
• Personal history...

Some people might be able to handle all that. I'm not one of them.

I really feel for you. Hang on there, you can't give up. You need to push on even if its the hardest thing to do. Giving up offers no peace, only disappointment and self hate. Keep going x

[pegasus]

Hello zpe263, stress is a massive thing and you have your hands full by the looks of it. It's ok to take some time out where you just focus on you, give yourself a treat, have a hot bath, go for a nice walk, what ever will give you some time to yourself. Breathe.

[Idiot17]

Oh I know how that feeling is.....
(((((Zpe)))))

[Altered Moment]

I know exactly how you feel and have been there a number of times.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[regretful]

I'm right there with you and the others that have felt, or are presently feeling this way...

zpe263, you are not alone. There are others who are sick of trying, hurt and sad, me included. Let's keep hanging in there!

[bigblackdog]

Oh, I so so so get this.

It's been 4 years of depression, and taking medications and a whole crap ton of physical health issues. my official diagnosis is major depression, recurrent, severe, partial remission. It seems lately to be the only awesome thing about me.

I am left with lungs and a brain that does not work right.

I am deeply, madly truly tired. I am tired of trying to perk up. Giving up sounds good, because then I could just relax and not have to figure out everyday how to fool everyone that things are just fine, and somehow fake it. I'm getting beaten up by someone at work and I am just tired of having to defend myself. I don't have the spoons. At this point, I will probably lose my job, and I don't really care, because I can't do it anyway, there's no opportunity for me, and like I said tired.

Dr says well you should exercise, because exercise is as effective as ADs for recovery. I'm like, I was exercising, I was swimming 4k a day while taking ADs; and those studies show it's only effective for mild to moderate depression. I am still depressed even on meds.....so therapy, meds and exercise together could not do it. But thanks for the completely ineffectual lame *** suggestion.

So yeah, I sit here. I am not eating, because it would take too much energy. I am not working because I can't concentrate. It's just that I don't have the energy to fight a losing battle anymore. At some point, the shell shocked wander off the battlefield and sit in catatonia in the woods. That's where I am at.

[Travelinglady]

bigblackdog, I understand, too. Please call your doc and tell him/her how you feel. It sounds like your meds need to be changed.

Do you have any family members or friends who can help you out?

I might have asked this question before, but are you seeing a therapist? Therapists can be very helpful in supporting us to keep on keeping on.

I have decided that life is a battle. We get one skirmish dealt with and another comes along. And sometimes we just battle and battle and battle, seemingly without end. All we can do is to take one day at a time.

Please do hang in here. And, as pegasus said, be nice to yourself. What are some things in the past that you have enjoyed doing that aren't big draining things?

[bigblackdog]

Yeah, I am actually doing better, upped my dose of Ritalin and things have turned around. It's unsanctioned, and doc will call me tomorrow. I am also reducing my trazodone, as I have been feeling overly sedated.

I do have a T, saw him today and with the bigblackdog not having its teeth in me, I can start to set a course for addressing some of my triggers.

This last 5 days have been rough because DH and DS were away at Volleyball Regionals. So I was alone with DD and part of that time I could not even take care of her. Luckily my mom's around and I am sure that DH told her to keep an eye out, make sure I am eating, stop by to check in etc.

Funny about the battle thing....told OldGoodBoss today that "the only battle worth fighting was the losing battles". His comment was, "WOW, I just learned more about you from that sentence than in 2.5 years". I was like, "what? If you know you'll win, it's not a battle". At that point, I think that his jaw dropped. So yeah, life is a battlefield. Thanks Pat Benatar.

Originally Posted by zpe263

Well it's that time now. Time to give up on all this bull ****. I'm sick of everything being hard and never getting better. I'm sick of being sad and in pain. I'm sick of my son not listening to me or the fact that I just don't want to try anymore. I'm not going to commit suicide or anything. I just give up on trying. I don't want to leave my son so I'm not going to but I just don't want to try anymore. Not with a job or anything. Just done.

I so understand.

[blueangel2014]

Dear ZPE263,

Maybe you just need a brake from trying. What you are trying to do is a very difficult job. Take a brake, just float around and take a few days off from this difficult job. Take a vacation from trying. I am sorry your kid does not listen, I have 4 kids and know how frustrating this can be for a parent. I don't know how old your child is, but if he can read, write to him/her. I wish you have a much better day tomorrow XXOO

[bigblackdog]

To the OP....recently had something happen in Therapy and meditation....I have what I will call a guardian angel with me....sometimes she's only there in meditation, sometimes she'll talk to me other times, sometimes it's just a feeling of intense serenity and joy. Ultimately, it does not matter what she is, because everything she's told me is positive and in my best interest.

Finally told T about it and he was really excited about this, because I now have a voice of grace in my chorus of inner critics that calls me on some of my bad thoughts. He made the comment that regardless of what this was, that she was helping to identify negative thoughts and that I hafd probably let go of ego, which gave her the opening.

Giving up could be that letting go of ego, and handing things over to something larger than ourselves.

[macy666]

Originally Posted by zpe263

Well it's that time now. Time to give up on all this bull ****. I'm sick of everything being hard and never getting better. I'm sick of being sad and in pain. I'm sick of my son not listening to me or the fact that I just don't want to try anymore. I'm not going to commit suicide or anything. I just give up on trying. I don't want to leave my son so I'm not going to but I just don't want to try anymore. Not with a job or anything. Just done.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but don't give up! He's probably just going through a faze