[db1973]

I want to get some advice on being depressed and hopeless about life for good reason. If I ought to be unhappy I'm wondering what I should do to feel better.

1) pretty severe schizoaffective disorder that has left me publicly humiliating myself and my family for 10 years or longer
2) criminal record (nothing horrible but I am ashamed of some of it as above)
3) destroyed marriage and still emotionally damaged 10+ years later
4) overweight
5) balding
6) no job or prospects for job
7) embarrassing and visible tattoo from delusional state
8) adverse reactions to Zyprexa which is still the only antipsychotic i've been able to tolerate
9) expectations and hopes for romance are extremely out of perspective and when i realize i won't find a woman like my ex-wife or my better ex-girlfriends I feel worse, because i was unhappy with them anyway
10) tend to freeze up and be unable to accomplish even small things, apartment is a horrible mess

I realize there's no point being unhappy over what can't be changed, I don't have the motivation to change what I can and should. I know I'm not alone but I feel like my life is destroyed and my mind being so rotten is the worst part of it. I can't count on myself. Any advice? I feel very bad.

Hello dainbramage: Welcome to PsychCentral. PC is a great place to gain support, learn strategies for handling mental health concerns, & to make internet friends. There are many wonderfully supportive members here on PsychCentral. One forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be:

Depression - Forums at Psych Central

I know a thing or two about destroyed lives... both my own & the others whose lives I destroyed along the way. It's kind-of like the old saying about: "just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you." "Just because you're depressed, doesn't mean your life isn't a shambles."

I guess the one thing I do have going for me is that I am married & my wife buoys me... although even this has its downside. (It's a long, convoluted story.) I am a student of the ancient Tibetan Buddhist practices called Lojong, as taught during our time by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. Pared down to it's simplest elements it is summarized by the Signature quote that appears below. I have made two serious attempts to get rid of myself in the past, the most recent just about 3 (?) years ago. Without the Lojong teachings I would still be trying...

All new members' first 5 posts are reviewed before they become available for viewing by the community. So there may be a delay between the time that you submit your first 5 posts & the point at which they become available for viewing. However, once these initial posts have been reviewed & approved, your posts will become available for viewing as soon as you click the submit button.

There are quite a few forums in which you will be able to post. If you have not already done so, be sure to look through the listing in the Forum Index:

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Should you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact any member of the Community Liaison Team. Best wishes...

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Dainbramage. Almost everything in your list goes back to #1 - schizoaffective disorder. It's not surprising depression would be in the mix.

Originally Posted by dainbramage

...what I should do to feel better.

Speaking from my own experience, "do" is the key word there. Depression etc. can make doing anything difficult or impossible. I have to "surf" brief, weak waves of energy and focus when they come to me; I've almost totally lost the ability to summon them.

What helps me a little is to abandon attempts to be efficient. If the energy is there, I just start to do stuff without wasting time and focus trying to organize what I'm doing. That's far less than optimal, but it allows me to "do" a few things.

Please make yourself at home here.

[Fuzzybear]

[avlady]

Welcome and enjoy!!!

Welcome, dainbramage. I don't know if I have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know you're not alone in wondering if things will ever get better. I'm kind of wondering the same myself.

I think if you keep posting here and reading threads, you might gain some insight and read some good tips - - not to mention feel less alone and gain support.

[db1973]

Thanks for the replies. Yes schizo-affective disorder could play a role but I'm not usually given to depression.

I think it's quite a normal feeling after coming out of a long psychotic break/episode and seeing the consequences. However, it is very overwhelming.

I wonder how people with a very bad lot in life normally deal with it, is the thing. Where do they find the strength and resilience to cope?

i really appreciate the positive feedback. i don't feel that bad usually (i admit i smoke marijuana and it helps a lot) but sometimes tough to accept the situation, a little anyway.