[natedawgfrizzle]

How am I supposed to move on when im consumed with these obsessive thoughts. I recently turned twenty. Im male. Im around 5'9. Wish i was taller. Ive been told by many that I am very attractive. But than, who hasn't? These compliments are simply Something you say in a social situation. I grew up being told i was a "hearthrob, adorable, a player etc." but now i have self realized that im simply average. Nothing about my face or body stands out as above average. Its heartbreaking at this late age realizing that something that you held so dear, such as being very attractive, was not even there to begin with. A quality i clung to that was simply imaginery. When i look ads or movie posters, such as Fifty Shades of Grey, I see a tall and handsome man with a perfect face. He is loved for this. And could have anyone he ever wanted. He is whole.

When I was younger, i had to flush the toilet 15 times, turn the lights on and off 20 times, and check to make sure the stove was off 10 times. Otherwise anxiety would take over. I have lost these OCD habits. But the obsessive thoughts continue. Every. Single. Second. If i were taller, more attractive, i would be whole. Complete.

[CANDC]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. Sorry to hear you are having trouble with obsessive thoughts.

You said:

Fifty Shades of Grey, I see a tall and handsome man with a perfect face. He is loved for this. And could have anyone he ever wanted. He is whole.

This is a pasted on image with makeup and fine clothes and years of training to present the right look. This is a deception. That is not the real man. That is the person that goes through multiple marriages and does not find real love because they are preoccupied with success and self image.

You have overcome other OCD challenges. This is one more to take up with a therapist. We are all average! There are those that try to convince you they are more but they are just living a lie in my opinion.

You are overcoming real challenges. To me that is authentic.

[jelly-bean]

Welcome to PC natedawgfrizzle! We are glad you have joined us. It's too bad that you feel so bad about yourself. I am pretty sure that you are being too hard on yourself. Trying to compete with male models is not a good thing to do. Normal people can not compete with that. Your height is great and I will bet that you are every bit as handsome as people say you are. You just can't see it the way they can. Are you in counseling? If not you might want to give that a try. A T could help you work out the issues that have you feeling so bad about yourself.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by natedawgfrizzle

. I grew up being told i was a "hearthrob, adorable, a player etc." but now i have self realized

I am not certain being called a player is complimentary. That reputation could be the heart of your struggling?

Welcome to PC!

Hope you find this community as warm and supportive, as I have.

If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to ask any of the Community Liasons for help and gentle board guidance.



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[growlycat]

50 shades is supposed to be such a bad movie that critics were not allowed to preview it. So no matter how ripped that guy is, if the movie bombs no one will care.

More people I think would rather have an average looking but loving partner than a gorgeous self centered jerk.

[kray_bray_may]

Insecurity about myself was one of the reasons my first relationship ended last summer. Does anyone have anxiety, insecurity and shame over their sexual performance?

[db1973]

One piece of advice I have is that it could be much worse than being average. You will be able to find an attractive spouse/girlfriend/whatever.

This is a small part of your life. It's something I struggle with myself.

[vital]

Originally Posted by growlycat

50 shades is supposed to be such a bad movie that critics were not allowed to preview it. So no matter how ripped that guy is, if the movie bombs no one will care.

More people I think would rather have an average looking but loving partner than a gorgeous self centered jerk.

You might want to watch "Zoolander" instead. - vital

[toolman65]

Google "hollywood height chart". i think you will be surprised by how many actors are SHORTER than you. Lack of height didn't stop them, why should it stop you?

[Cal30]

Nate,

I tried to write a reply to your post earlier, but it didn't appear for some reason.

Basically what I said was that as long as you continue to believe that male models are "whole" because of their looks and you are incomplete because of yours, you will continue to suffer.

This is sad, but true.

I'd love to be able to convince you to change your mind about your belief, but unfortunately I don't have the power to do that.

The only way you're going to be able to get out of this "hell" is to change your underlying belief about looks and wholeness. Are you open to doing that?

I really hope that something will happen that will cause you to gain some perspective, shed the false beliefs and experience some joy and happiness in your life.

All the best,

Cal

[kray_bray_may]

does anyone else hate their body and looks