Daily Check In — Ups and Downs Thread 14

Apr 02, 2015, 09:59 PM

Was at work today, was so busy didn't have time to feel anything. So that was good. Had some time with some good people tonight, and the kids. Maybe it made a world of difference or maybe my mood has lifted for now. Just glad to be feeling a bit better.

color14u · Apr 02, 2015, 10:22 PM

Did talk to my PCP about my depression. He put me on something like Abilify. My husband in all his infinite wisdom bought me a 38 special to help me protect myself since i can't do that anymore. Really???? Please all sleep safe and peaceful tonight...

Apr 03, 2015, 04:28 AM

okay today.

07:25 AM

Cancelled ECT this morning because my migraine is still hanging on and just was not up for it. I've been feeling somewhat better mood-wise all week so didn't feel it was vital anyway.

Actually got invited to my brother's for brunch on Easter. Really looking forward to that since I haven't seen him and his family since Christmas time. It would be great if my migraine was gone by that time . . .

At least I'm cruising along with 5 days in a row here of improved mood. And my last ECT was 3/13 - - that's 3 weeks ago. Maybe I'm flirting with disaster by having so much time in between treatments. Hope it doesn't come to bit me in the *****.

herethennow · Apr 03, 2015, 06:41 AM

Possible trigger:

i am ready for this to end. i just can't deal with it anymore.

Smileonmyface · Apr 03, 2015, 08:19 AM

ok so far. got an email from the pastor at the church we used to go to saying they are praying for me and inviting us to come back etc etc. it messed with my head a bit, i have been doing so great not obsessing about the religion thing that i don't want to get sucked back into that now. i'm trying really hard to not get pulled back in. coming on here helps me stay grounded. thank you so much for that. i know she means well but it's like a major trigger for me for some reason, weird.

Apr 03, 2015, 10:18 AM

Weather is raining on my mood...

Apr 03, 2015, 10:51 AM

A bit annoyed...

JustTvTroping · Apr 03, 2015, 11:28 AM

...Where is this energy coming from? It's only almost 9:30 am where I am and I'm doing more in 3 hours than I've done in 2 days...I don't think all the water I drunk the last night had anything to do with this.

eggplantlife · Apr 03, 2015, 11:45 AM

This morning was reeeaaaaalllyy bad. I did something I told myself I wouldn't. I cried a lot. I realized I am very scared about what I am about to do. I am very scared at how alone I will be and how I would be able to support myself and such. I don't even want to reach out to people anymore because it is me screaming out too much at what life is throwing at me. I know and grateful for the blessings that I have. Yes, I know about them. I also know I got to do something. I can't be where I am.

regretful · Apr 03, 2015, 12:36 PM

Far from a daily check in; though I haven't forgotten about the good fight that all here are fighting regularly. I accepted a job that started back in February, and unfortunately that is adding to the stress in my life in such a way that I'm on the verge of leaving it. I'm learning a lot about what drives my depression...working where the schedule is uncertain and waiting around for something to happen is just no way to live...The depression is rather a background noise more than anything else. No meds, no therapy...just putting to work all of those things that I've learned about cognitive-behavioral techniques.

Teacup381 · Apr 03, 2015, 01:00 PM

Medication is barely my anxiety.. I'm having a lot of nightmares and today I should feel relaxed.. It's my day off but I feel empty and worthless and I'm getting very tired of feeling like this.. I just want to get help but I never hear back from places and my doctor is gone all week. I'm so overwhelmed with school and work.. I can't do anything right and I'm tired of crying.. I feel just so empty and depressed and like im nothing but a burden to everyone around me

Apr 03, 2015, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by regretful

Far from a daily check in; though I haven't forgotten about the good fight that all here are fighting regularly. I accepted a job that started back in February, and unfortunately that is adding to the stress in my life in such a way that I'm on the verge of leaving it. I'm learning a lot about what drives my depression...working where the schedule is uncertain and waiting around for something to happen is just no way to live...The depression is rather a background noise more than anything else. No meds, no therapy...just putting to work all of those things that I've learned about cognitive-behavioral techniques.

regretful, it's good to hear from you. I'm sorry that your new job is causing your stress. Good luck finding something else, if that is what you end up deciding to do.

Apr 03, 2015, 02:44 PM

Lonely, sad, cold.

Apr 03, 2015, 02:59 PM

I'm starting to deny myself the time to cry. It happened on the 1st and again today. I'll shed a couple tears, and then that's it - I hold back the rest. It feels so pointless to cry, especially when you're doing it alone, with no one around to care about your pain. There is no comfort in it. None. It does not make me feel any better. It exacerbates my headaches... It reminds me that no one will comfort me... that I'm alone... There's no good reason to do it.

Fuzzybear · Apr 03, 2015, 03:02 PM

eggplantlife · Apr 03, 2015, 04:48 PM

Too sad. Don't care. Made myself drunk. So sad.

TheOriginalMe · Apr 03, 2015, 05:15 PM

A bad day, I couldn't keep the thoughts at bay. All day I just questioned my own validity. I am a worthless piece of crud, I get what I deserve.

Apr 03, 2015, 07:20 PM

Today I wasn't feeling too bad. It was nice and sunny and I got to spend some time outside. Then I had a few drinks with friends. Was feeling great! now the buzz has worn off and that old blah feeling is back. I might have a rough time tomorrow bc of the alcohol. The buzz was good while it lasted!

puzzclar · Apr 03, 2015, 07:24 PM

a Cold.. and it's messing with my head...

Apr 03, 2015, 10:57 PM

Today was a busy day at work. The weekend is about here. I get the feeling that it's going to be a pretty lonely one. I don't care about Easter services that much, so I will not be going to any.

Tonight I felt bad because I went to the pool area and saw people with others having a good time. Here I am all alone.

Apr 04, 2015, 09:08 AM

This morning when I woke up I was tired and dizzy. And then my migraine kicked in again (3rd day in a row). I was convinced it was just going to be a horrible day with me struggling to get anything done because even my strong pain medication hadn't been working the previous two days to ease my migraine pain. I was also very worried that if the migraine continues tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do what we have planned: church, brunch at my brother's and stopping by my daughter-in-law's to say hi.

Well, fortunately I was wrong. I took some pain medication and voila! I don't feel any pain. So I can get the laundry done and go to the library to get some reading material and not sure what else I'll do. Maybe even if I still have the migraine tomorrow, the pain medication will work again and I can do all the activities we are hoping to do.

Bottom line and lesson learned: I have to not assume the worst at the first sign of the potential for something to go wrong.

Smileonmyface · Apr 04, 2015, 09:22 AM

need to get moving but i feel stuck in this chair. hubby went off on a hike and i'm afraid i'll still be in my pjs when he gets home. hope to get kids to Easter egg hunt today. must.get.dressed.