[JustTvTroping]

I barely feel much of anything today. I have this urge to cry for no reason and...

Possible trigger:

I gave in to my sadomasochistic tendencies (biting myself on my arms and hands) to relieve stress

...yeah-I've feeling strange for the past 3-4 days.

okaaaaaaaaaay

[LittleEarthquakes]

Words don't really matter anymore.

[TheOriginalMe]

I am really, really tried. The day has been far too long, I hope I sleep better tonight.

[eggplantlife]

After what i've been through, i don't believe in families anymore. Maybe i just feel like for today.

[Turtlesoup]

Nice day here, spent a lot of time outside, did some reading & worked on another watercolor. Had fun talking on the phone to my daughter-she always cracks me up-hard to believe she's grown. Where does the time go? Take care all

My mood is dwindling further. I feel it coming. The break. I don't want to break. Will this viscous cycle ever end?

[eggplantlife]

I wish i was with my doggir daughter. I wish she was really my daughter so i could of talked to her and hear how she is doing.

So heartbroken that god have taken me so far from her.

Also, my tooth is giving me so much pain. I have to figure out a place to go to get extracted for poor people without insurance. Man! This sucks!

May things turn aroubd and become better.

Above was couple of hours ago. Feeling kind of low and because of tooth pain. Not deep depression as before. Just moderate low. Need to find peace. Will meditate.

quite good this morning

Well, I've experienced a definite improvement in my mood since Monday. Going for three days in a row here. Based on how crappy I've felt over recent months, I'm really appreciative of feeling better. I think I'm coming close to feeling how the majority of the world feels.

I'm kind of resentful of my struggles with depression. I sort of feel like I've been cheated out of life. I feel like it's not fair that the majority of people don't need to struggle with major depression, but we who experience it do. It's so, so hard.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy feeling like this while it lasts. Hopefully it will last a long time!

Editing this a couple of hours later to say that I'm feeling a little bummed out/discouraged now. As a reminder, I am an attorney who doesn't want to practice law anymore and have been looking for a job as a paralegal or something for about six months with no luck. I was trying to get a job at a bank through a temp agency processing mortgage documents. The bank wanted someone with a finance, business or paralegal background. I thought I'd be a shoe-in. They passed on my resume. Just feeling defeated with this job search.

[Smileonmyface]

doing ok today. so far i am very unproductive. i really want to play with my kids more today, like really get down on the floor with them and play. i never do that enough.

[herethennow]

Possible trigger:

can i just stop functioning already
i hate this creeping sadness that comes for no reason and pdoc keeps asking for reason and i just keep quiet.. like a kid being chided at.
i am tired.
can i just stop existing already

i guess i cleared a hurdle today: i finally did something i dreaded.
but...

(((Herethennow))))

I'm doing ok.

[hope2010]

I am fine, the last two days have been good, less depressed, very active at home, a lot of energy but today I don't know yet how am going to be, active or so tired that I can't do much?
It is a very fragile stay of mind, I just never know ...
I wish everyone well, hugs

Going to be getting out of the house today.

My parents have to drive out of town for something about the car insurance. Then we're going to get pizza.

Hope it helps me some to get out.

sad now. i always feel bad in the evenings. a good mood can never last

[Chummy]

Today was kind of alright. Not good, but not as bad as usual. But late afternoon is went bad. My brother is an ***. I don't know why he started to hate me and why he still dislike me so much. I hate him. I can't forget his bullying. It a big part of why I hate myself so much. I can't trust my parents. They say one thing, but behind my back... Think I won't find out. I'm not stupid.

Possible trigger:

I have thougths of suicide. I know I won't do it. I'm afraid to do it, I'm not sure why. But I don't want to live.

I feel so lonely.

[TheOriginalMe]

After a run of bad sleep my mood plummets, so I am sad as well as tired. I want to cry, I have so many things to be sad about. The darkest thoughts intrude into my consciousness. Not a good time.

[Fuzzybear]

[Turtlesoup]

Today has been good-cooked a really good breakfast & made awesome stir fry. My back is bothering me today so took some downtime & did a lot of reading & did get some things done around the house. Mood very even, got some sun this morning when I went out to trim up some flowers. Could not get my grumpy cat to have anything to do with me today-you have to have pretty thick skin to be a cat person as they can be really hard on the old self esteem Hope everyone here has a good evening

[Rose76]

I feel like I ran out of gas. Just stuck on empty. Not real sad . . . just real unproductive.

[Espresso]

I'm incredibly sad. I just want to be happy. I hate myself and I hate my life.

The drive out of town with my parents earlier was okay... the pizza was good anyway (we got pizza after business was taken care of). It was good to finally be out of the house and in the sun and fresh air. Nice while it lasted. But that's just the thing... it doesn't last.

[AnomalousCarrotCake]

Feeling mixed, processed a lot in the past week.

But the past 24 hours or so have been okay, even if there were some awkward moments in them.

To focus on the good for a change:

I got to spend time with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time, and it felt good to talk to them. I felt heard. I managed to hobble out to lunch with them and felt closer to human than I have for a while.

I spent some time with a different group of friends watching movies and being fed a home-cooked meal. No processing of heavy baggage, this was pure escapism and hanging out. Something I don't get enough of.

I got some bodywork done, and while I'm sore, very sore -- I think it may have realigned me and hopefully will improve mobility. I'll know in a few days.

I'm feeling very tired now, and in that headspace where I don't have energy to process any of the stuff going on in my life. Maybe that's what people would call "just coasting". And that's okay for today...

Being in this headspace is better than being in the bowels of depression, with how it pins me to the bed and covers me in a thick black blanket. I haven't been in this okay headspace in a while, but from experience know it's likely to only be a temporary break from the heaviness.

I'm not okay today. Hoping tomorrow will be a good day.