Alcohol makes me feel better

I went to an AA meeting this morning. My first. And now i'm drinking. I'm blaming outside influences for my drinking, even though i know it's totally wrong.

My boyfriend is making a career move. He's moving to Chicago. He's putting his career above everything else and putting everything else second. Including me. I'm staying in Florida. There's no margin for compromise. He's going and i' staying. No matter how much in love we are.

I have been depressed for so many years. I'm on meds.. but the pain i'm feeling right now is so great... no amount of meds are going to make me feel better about Nick leaving. My doc even told me that. I just have to work through the pain.

I'm going for intensive counseling next week at a mental health facility. It's up to my insurance company whether i go for 3 hours a day or 6. I'm hoping for the 6. I need the help.

I'm so f-ing depressed about Nick leaving. It consumes me. I can't think about anything else. I love this man so much. I hate being second in his life..and i justhave to f-ing accept it. I can't. I want to scream and cry. But no amount of hysteria will change his mind.

I don't know where to turn except my bottle of tequila. I went to an AA meeting this morning. I actually liked it. A woman gave me her phone number and told me to call her. I may call her tonight. She was nice enough to reach out to me. Depression and alcoholism. What a nice pairing.

I'm off. I'll continue to log on and read posts. Being anonymous on this forum helps. Your words help.

((((((((Attinson))))))))) I'm sorry. Please don't go back to drinking. It's not going to make you feel better-your heart ache will still be there, waiting for you to come to terms with it.

but my heart hurts SO much. I can't deal with it on my own.

((((((((((attinson63))))))))))))

Booze doesn't help the pain, I know it must hurt so very much right now but it's not really going to help. Phone the person who reached out to you, maybe talking to her will help.

take care of yourself, you're important.

Booze isn't the answer. Make the call to that woman. You need someone to talk too. That worm isn't going to be able to help you. See what happened to it when it turn to the booze for help. LOL

You have us at PC and that woman to talk to so let us help.

PM anytime.
Wrencher

Hi
I don't think we realize that although we feel better when drunk as the pain is ebbed, alcohol is actually a depressant so the next day you feel worse. I speak from experience at this time as I too turn to liquor. Hang in there, you are certainly not alone and although we do not know each other from Adam, we are here to help and support you the best we can.

Shel

That's how I was. Sometimes I'd feel like I just want to get wasted and not remember anything. But once I got a boyfriend that was against alcohol/tobacco/drugs I had a major sacrifice to give up since his cousins died of drunk driving, and his mother has cancer. But now that I'm sober, I feel better. I know that feeling but sometimes you need to let go for the better. If you need anything please feel free to PM me anytime.

I once commented to my therapist that I wished I could "cry myself to death." She then explained to me how/why that is not physically possible, your body won't let you. After crying hard "forever" your body turns it off, wears out that circuit for a bit.

Alcohol is actually prolonging the pain by interfering with your body's preferred method of dealing with the emotional pain of your breakup/boyfriend leaving. It is like breaking your arm and drinking to dull the pain instead of going through the pain necessary in having it set by a doctor and casted, etc. Both ways it will "mend" but if you don't go to the doctor, don't do it the "right" way it will mend badly.

As a bing drinking, I wouldn't recommend this course of action. Alcohol is a darn good bandaid but it makes me feel worse the next day. I have guilt for drinking and, occasionally, I do some really stupid things.

((((((((((((attinson)))))))))))))) I hope that you're okay. Are you okay?

Attinson, how are things going? We're hear for you!

Hello Attinson.
I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. I can imagine all the changes are hard to take all at one time. Going to AA is a very big step in getting the help you need. There are also DBSA ad NAMI meetings as well that may be in your area for mental health support and classes. I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself. Sooidhonia

grrrr.... *looking left. . .looking right* I wonder if anyone noticed my typo!! Hear = here!!!! What a silly at that!

Edit post function if you worry that much!

I tried but it says I can't edit the post???

It isn't that big of a deal, I guess I said something so those who DID notice would see that I KNOW I made a mistake. . . Silly, isn't it!!