[Sine Language]

As of late, I have been feeling very down due to being by myself. And it isn't just in the relationship sense, it is more in a general sense. I've noticed for anything to happen with other people, I am the one to have to reach out to others for something to happen.

A thought crossed my mind earlier in where I sort of realized that no one truly seems to care or wonder how I am. No one ever reaches out to me to just simply ask "how are you doing" and that's... well just very depressing. I don't know, I am just in such a low place right now internally, feeling unwanted, un-cared for and sometimes rejected.

I've seen a psychologist before for other issues of feeling down or stuck, but I've never found it helpful. It would always feel like money being wasted just to have someone listen to what I say and not really provide much feedback or guidance on what to do. So yea

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. It's hard to feel lonely and to feel that you are the one always reaching out. I'm sorry you feel uncared for. I feel that way myself sometimes. It is very painful. We care for you on this forum and encourage you to post as often as you need. You'll find a lot of support here. I encourage you to keep reaching out to others. Does it matter who reached out first as long as you have that contact? Are you close enough to these people to talk to them about these feelings?

I had to go through a lot of therapists to find one worth her weight in gold. The right one can be a tremendous help. I encourage you to keep looking until you find the right one. Best wishes. Thinking of you....

[MickeyCheeky]

I often feel the same way.. I'm sorry you're struggling, too.

I'd suggest to try to look for a therapist.. I'm sure you can find a good one.

[Fuzzybear]

[Sine Language]

Thanks all, I am feeling a little bit better today, it kind of just passes on its own before it happens again. I agree that maybe I just haven't found the right therapist yet, should probably keep looking.

Be careful, my daughter thought she found a great therapist and he turned on her to promote himself. we're all very upset over it.

Oh yes, Sine Language, loneliness is not unknown to me. Sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Sometimes one might wonder if depression "smells" from far away, so that people withdraw before they have got to know us.

Can it help you a bit to think that we are many who feel it this way , - that we are in the same boat mentally? What are your interests? Is there an interest that you can develop, go to a course or something? It is very, very important to not sit inside and fall deeper and deeper into depression. Can you go swimming, bicycling, find some kittens to care about or other?

I agree with Jennifer, don't stop looking for the right psychologist for you and please give him/her a chance before you cut the contact.

Originally Posted by RaisingKay

Be careful, my daughter thought she found a great therapist and he turned on her to promote himself. we're all very upset over it.

Such things shall not happen! But that they still can happen, doesn't mean that every therapist is so. A good therapist should either have been qualified in Psychology or Psychiatry.

There are persons who dare to call themselves therapists without the right qualification ...

[Sine Language]

Originally Posted by RaisingKay

Be careful, my daughter thought she found a great therapist and he turned on her to promote himself. we're all very upset over it.

Ugh that's awful! Luckily I've never had anything like that happen.

[Sine Language]

Originally Posted by Singer47

Oh yes, Sine Language, loneliness is not unknown to me. Sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Sometimes one might wonder if depression "smells" from far away, so that people withdraw before they have got to know us.

Can it help you a bit to think that we are many who feel it this way , - that we are in the same boat mentally? What are your interests? Is there an interest that you can develop, go to a course or something? It is very, very important to not sit inside and fall deeper and deeper into depression. Can you go swimming, bicycling, find some kittens to care about or other?

I agree with Jennifer, don't stop looking for the right psychologist for you and please give him/her a chance before you cut the contact.

Thanks Singer, that's basically what I have been doing for the past year, is just constantly staying busy as much as possible. At this point though it feels like I just intentionally make myself do things to keep from feeling sad, instead of doing things for the enjoyment, if that makes sense.

I am feeling a bit better today, not really thinking about it, I just hate the mood swings though, it hits me quickly and really hard, and then it will fade away on its own.

[Sine Language]

Started feeling really down again today and not really sure what caused it or started it. I was so restless and down at my place in the morning that I went to take a shower and just spend about an hour sitting with the water running over me.

I had a yoga class to help with in the afternoon that I went to, and that was fun and helped distract me for a bit. But I had to leave early as I had to get my kid to watch for the night. Right away he was acting up and giving attitude, and it got me upset. It kept going and felt like something just snapped inside of me.

I place him in time out and had to get away, because I felt so mad and hurt at the same time. That somehow life feels so unfair, being felt so unwanted and having to, as sad as it sounds, to deal with my kid day in and day out when I have him, never a good day between him and I. He has a spectrum of autism and is also likely to have ADHD, but it is hard to diagnosis since he is still very young.

Right now the only thing I want to do is just run away from everything, I hate the fact that I have a child.... and I can't even say some of the time.... it's almost all of the time. I love him but with him and feelings of hurt I have had from others, it becomes too much for me and I just want to get away from it all, from the responsibilities and not feel like I am somehow trapped and have to take care of anything.

I just wish I knew how to cope with all of this....

[eunice0303]

I'm so sorry that you felt that way. It's hard dealing with really negative feelings that consistently bring you down. Those feelings are difficult to fight off and ward off. It's like these emotions are tearing those walls down and taking over me. It's painful

I'm sorry that you're having to feel so overwhelmed with so much responsibilities as a parent and having to try and cope with these heavy emotions as well.

Have you tried asking a friend or a neighbor to look after your child for a little bit while you try and calm down? I believe there are certain volunteer services that help out with child care as well, especially for children with disabilities.

I hope your day will be better, and there are those tough days that seem to never end. But don't lose hop!

[Sine Language]

Thank you.

Writing about it here and talking about it in chat yesterday really helped. Something is different in me now, and I can't quite figure out what it is. Yesterday I snapped inside hard, like really hard, and now, I don't seem to care about any of it.

It somehow feels like it got to the point that everything was being so much that my mind isn't bothering to deal with any of it anymore, I just don't have the cares or worries anymore about other people. I'm not really sure what to make of it honestly, but it definitely feels more in line of not caring about how other feels about my action anymore, or what would make them feel good.

Thank you again everyone for the kind words and support, it has helped me. Right now, I'm just not sure what it is in me that is going on, but it is definitely different. I'm not even bothering looking on social media places to see who's been on or curious about others anymore, I have no interest in it at all like before...

Originally Posted by Sine Language

Started feeling really down again today and not really sure what caused it or started it. I was so restless and down at my place in the morning that I went to take a shower and just spend about an hour sitting with the water running over me.

I had a yoga class to help with in the afternoon that I went to, and that was fun and helped distract me for a bit. But I had to leave early as I had to get my kid to watch for the night. Right away he was acting up and giving attitude, and it got me upset. It kept going and felt like something just snapped inside of me.

I place him in time out and had to get away, because I felt so mad and hurt at the same time. That somehow life feels so unfair, being felt so unwanted and having to, as sad as it sounds, to deal with my kid day in and day out when I have him, never a good day between him and I. He has a spectrum of autism and is also likely to have ADHD, but it is hard to diagnosis since he is still very young.

Right now the only thing I want to do is just run away from everything, I hate the fact that I have a child.... and I can't even say some of the time.... it's almost all of the time. I love him but with him and feelings of hurt I have had from others, it becomes too much for me and I just want to get away from it all, from the responsibilities and not feel like I am somehow trapped and have to take care of anything.

I just wish I knew how to cope with all of this....

Ok, I did not read this thread before I posted my other response so my apologies. Now that I know your son has an autism spectrum diagnosis, I can tell you that you need to seek out autism resources to help him. There are programs, therapists, daycamps, special schools, to help children on the autism spectrum. I have a family member with autism, so I know how difficult it is to have to cope with.

The best thing you can do to help both yourself, your son is to connect him with resources (even at his early age, there are plenty) that will benefit him and inform and support you as his father. So that you can cope better, feel less helpless, and more secure about his diagnosis, and how to handle it. You are not alone in this. I know it feels like it. But it's not true.

Here's some resources I found, after a quick Google search on California/Autism:

Parent Associations & Support

https://www.autismspeaks.org/resource-guide/state/CA

http://www.calautism.org/

Autism Society of California - Home

https://www.autismspeaks.org/resourc...rt%20Groups/CA

Support Groups - Autism Society San Francisco Bay Area

https://faninfo.org/