[RenouncedTroglodyte]

I don't feel that anyone at all cares about me. Anyone anywhere in this planet. This is all partly because of a very simple yet very stupid reason, I just don't know how to communicate. Even here, PC I mean, I don't think I am helping people like others do, and I am nagging more than I am being helpful, to be frank. I try PMS, but it is as crippling as ALS, so I say I should drop it. I always try to convince myself that I am not who I believe I am, but people really don't like me. I don't remember how hugs feel like, and I certainly was never handheld by someone to know how that feels.

I just want to bend down and cry for a moment.

[I really broken]

Iay never meet you or even know your name but I promise your not alone. People on this rock are thinking about you as we speak. I am here many a mile away thinking of the perfect words for a complete stranger but we are connected thru this site and a common thought process. I am here to listen anytime you may need

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by I really broken

Iay never meet you or even know your name but I promise your not alone. People on this rock are thinking about you as we speak. I am here many a mile away thinking of the perfect words for a complete stranger but we are connected thru this site and a common thought process. I am here to listen anytime you may need

Thank you, so very very much. Not even my family nor my friends ever said this to me. I hope that people care as much as a little bit about me and all people like me and you. You don't deserve to be broken at all.

[I really broken]

I only spoke the truth. And as to people caring a little I hope almost everyday they do but so many show different intent. I am not sure I have a single person in my personal life that truly cares beyond a superficial attempt. I have spent my entire life in that scenario. And know I feel more alone than ever. I have begun hearing other voices in my head to compensate for my feelings of being alone. I hear whispers from other when I venture in the public. I am slowly isolating myself from everyone and everything. I am sorry for the long winded tirade I just went on

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by I really broken

I only spoke the truth. And as to people caring a little I hope almost everyday they do but so many show different intent. I am not sure I have a single person in my personal life that truly cares beyond a superficial attempt. I have spent my entire life in that scenario. And know I feel more alone than ever. I have begun hearing other voices in my head to compensate for my feelings of being alone. I hear whispers from other when I venture in the public. I am slowly isolating myself from everyone and everything. I am sorry for the long winded tirade I just went on

Thank you, for the tirade. I love it when people take time to express their feelings. While I also did the same thing and isolated myself, almost for good, I don't think you should do that, and if you did, don't simmer it, cut it, for it will make things much worse.

i care - i really, honestly, truly care. send me a message any time if you want to talk. you are NEVER alone.

[I really broken]

I do it out of fear. Not of others but I am finding it harder to maintain self control with individuals. I find my thoughts quickly turn to violence when I hear people and the comments made about me. I'm not disfigured I'm just heavily tattooed. I was a tattoo artist for a better part of 10 years till I just walked away one day and with my career I felt it necessary to tattoo every part of my body face included. I was able to just ignore before but now its almost impossible. I honestly want these people to suffer just as I do.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

i care - i really, honestly, truly care. send me a message any time if you want to talk. you are NEVER alone.

I too care Thank you so much for this incredibly warming post!

[I really broken]

I appreciate it I honestly do. And the sentiment and gesture is returned whole heartily. Your the first I've spoken to about this my wife does not even know the true state of my mind. I feel I'm well past the point of redemption I push further into this just to see what I can truly withstand in regards my mental stability.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by I really broken

I appreciate it I honestly do. And the sentiment and gesture is returned whole heartily. Your the first I've spoken to about this my wife does not even know the true state of my mind. I feel I'm well past the point of redemption I push further into this just to see what I can truly withstand in regards my mental stability.

I do appreciate the fact that you took the liberty to explain your mental process. Now, what I want you to do, is to make a full thread and blow off as much steam as you desire, message me if you want, and write as much as you can about how you feel, and remember, in this site, you will find me and other people who will care. Just by saying that your wife don't even know what you told me, makes me want to help you more, and listen to you more, so feel free to talk freely whenever you feel up to it.

[I really broken]

Thank you I honestly have tried to post and every time I convince myself I'll be judged and I move on and try to encourage another. I would help another and suffer in silence.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by I really broken

Thank you I honestly have tried to post and every time I convince myself I'll be judged and I move on and try to encourage another. I would help another and suffer in silence.

No judging in this site. Be as opened as you can, and people will help. I, will help.

[I really broken]

Honestly I cannot say why I joined I don't if I want answers for my situation a sounding board or just to try and help another I know I should try and share more but at the same time I'm hesitant about it

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by I really broken

Honestly I cannot say why I joined I don't if I want answers for my situation a sounding board or just to try and help another I know I should try and share more but at the same time I'm hesitant about it

Do not hesitate, for hesitation will only get you heated until you collapse. Don't waste time in just thinking on whether you should or should not post a thread about your thoughts and feelings. You just told me your mental process without hesitation, and you didn't receive judgements at all and I am not even half as good as the people around here

[I really broken]

I felt comfortable talking with you. I don't know. I've tried and had it almost done and deleted it but I'll continue to try

[Frankbtl]

Hi Renounced, I know you've had people in your life who haven't treated you the way you've deserved to be treated, but that makes them "wrong" not you
In my eyes you communicate so well on here.......IRL I know you've had problems with self esteem and depression and your experiences in the past which may be holding you back but that doesn't need to say that you can't (with support) come closer to communicating better out there like you do on here
And not helping people like others do.........on that I'm pretty certain that you're selling yourself well short there!!! You're no doubt so much more helpful to people than you're realising!!!
But please don't see yourself as nagging when you're saying what's going on for you, it's good that you're letting that out. Real good!!! We may not always have answers, but if somethings bothering/hurting you then it matters..........because, you know.......WE/I CARE!!!
I know that might be hard to really believe/feel with what you're going through, but please try, hey??!! Because it really is true
Alison

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by I really broken

Iay never meet you or even know your name but I promise your not alone. People on this rock are thinking about you as we speak. I am here many a mile away thinking of the perfect words for a complete stranger but we are connected thru this site and a common thought process. I am here to listen anytime you may need

[RessurectMe]

Hey RT - I agree with Frankbtl. You are such a considerate and thoughtful listener here, and you have helped me personally. There must be some part of this that also exists IRL for you, and if it doesn't feel like that now - it will!

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi Renounced, I know you've had people in your life who haven't treated you the way you've deserved to be treated, but that makes them "wrong" not you
In my eyes you communicate so well on here.......IRL I know you've had problems with self esteem and depression and your experiences in the past which may be holding you back but that doesn't need to say that you can't (with support) come closer to communicating better out there like you do on here
And not helping people like others do.........on that I'm pretty certain that you're selling yourself well short there!!! You're no doubt so much more helpful to people than you're realising!!!
But please don't see yourself as nagging when you're saying what's going on for you, it's good that you're letting that out. Real good!!! We may not always have answers, but if somethings bothering/hurting you then it matters..........because, you know.......WE/I CARE!!!
I know that might be hard to really believe/feel with what you're going through, but please try, hey??!! Because it really is true
Alison

I'm quite sure that I might be selling myself short, but what if I'm not? I know that this is a lot of self-doubt for me, by me, but when I say it, I actually believe that it is true through what I see. One of my silliest/unrealistic hopes and dreams is to help change the world into a better one, and that starts from just making one human being smile, I don't recall having that effect on anyone, ever.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by RessurectMe

Hey RT - I agree with Frankbtl. You are such a considerate and thoughtful listener here, and you have helped me personally. There must be some part of this that also exists IRL for you, and if it doesn't feel like that now - it will!

You don't know how happy I get when I hear that in my life, I've been useful, and have actually helped someone. If I did help you, then please don't give my threads a second look, I'm afraid that if you see the one who helped is more negative than you are, I'm very well sure you'll consider ending up being the same.