Flipped Out!

Last night I flipped out on all my friends and I screamed at them and told them to %#@&#! off out my house, I did have 5 beers and b4 any1 says anything it wasn't the beer, I just got irratated with every1 in my room and I flipped, the funny thing is I feel no regret ate what I did not even any remorse, am I that dead on the inside, all they did was talk really loud, but one of my friends did keep tuning me %#@&#! and mayb thats what set me off, I wish I did feel sumthibg for what I did, but I don't, am I really that bad. I just can't believe how I flipped out on all my friends like I did, but I can at least say this I did apologize for what I said and did, not because I feel bad but because I had to.

((((psyclox))))

i wish there was something more i could do to help

i get irritated all the time with ppl anyone it doesnt matter who they are sometimes everything annoys me including my housemates cat..

please take care

Please try not to beat yourself up for what you did, Psyclox.

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all they did was talk really loud, but one of my friends did keep tuning me %#@&#! and mayb thats what set me off,

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I don't think these behaviors constitute "not doing anything." These behaviors were annoying to you, and <font color="blue">you have a right to your feelings.</font> What we do not have a right to do is to express those feelings aggressively.

Had you asked your friends to tone down the noise before exploding? For the past 4 years or more, I have been working with Ts to recognize the bodily symptoms of irritation that can help me to express my feelings before I reach the point of exploding.

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I wish I did feel sumthibg for what I did, but I don't, am I really that bad. I just can't believe how I flipped out on all my friends like I did, but I can at least say this I did apologize for what I said and did, not because I feel bad but because I had to.

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I have been so cut off from my feelings, I have not even been able to recognize when my irritation was growing. We can learn techniques to manage our stress.

Perhaps your friends needed to be reminded to be more considerate, but perhaps just not in the way that you did it.

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Psyclox said:
and b4 any1 says anything it wasn't the beer,

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What makes you so sure that it wasn't the beer? I am a recovering alcoholic, and we never believe it's the booze. It can take months just to end denial. The alcohol overcomes inhibitions, whether you want to believe that or not.

I could write a lot more about this as it relates to my own journey toward being able to feel my feelings and express them appropriately, but this is your journey, and I have said enough already.

Please try to treat yourself with the understanding that many of us here will feel for your situation.

((((((((Psyclox))))))))))
The fact that you're writing about it and feeling bad that you don't feel anything shows that you do care. You've written about your friends often and you seemed to feel left out by them, somehow-at least that's the impression I got-could this anger have resulted in unresolved resentment also?
You may have a very good reason for have feeling angry with them-even if it wasn't what they were doing at the time you yelled at them.
If it keeps bothering you that you feel like you don't feel bad about it then maybe you can talk to one of your friends about it?

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Pickle said:
((((((((Psyclox))))))))))
The fact that you're writing about it and feeling bad that you don't feel anything shows that you do care. You've written about your friends often and you seemed to feel left out by them, somehow-at least that's the impression I got-could this anger have resulted in unresolved resentment also?
You may have a very good reason for have feeling angry with them-even if it wasn't what they were doing at the time you yelled at them.
If it keeps bothering you that you feel like you don't feel bad about it then maybe you can talk to one of your friends about it?

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You have raised some good points, Pickle. I am looking forward to your getting back to us about this, Psyclox.

(((PSYCLOX)))
Getting FED UP, and Flipping OUT is not the same thing. I feel that what you did is something that you have been needing to do for a while that just had an opportunity to come about the other day when you fel that you FLIPPED OUT. We all have the same reaction when something happens that we are tired of and are unable to relay the feelings to another person or persons. I hope you feel better soon. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

((((((psyclox))))))))))))))))

I think posting this says alot. DO not beat your self up for it!
Take care my friend. Hope you feel better.

Hey all I get what you all are saying and I understand, and I think you are right I probly was just something that I needed to do I have felt like screaming at every one for a very long time and I guess it just came out then, and in that fashion I still have no explanation for the why I did it but I know that I did, even my friends dont understand the why, but I guess that is why I am here in the first place to figure out what is wrong with me. Thanx again all for posting replies.

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Psyclox said:
I guess that is why I am here in the first place to figure out what is wrong with me. Thanx again all for posting replies.

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Psyclox -- I don't think you need to frame this as an issue of something that's wrong with you. I agree that it is an issue of self-knowledge so that you know when you're approaching the boiling point and find ways of handling that and communication strategies to avert the blow-up. But this doesn't mean something is [b]wrong[/i] with you. It is just part of the journey of growth throughout our lives.