Helping Husband

My husband started first-time therapy and treatment for depression just over two weeks ago. He started on 150mg of generic Wellbutrin XL and has since added 10mg of generic Prozac because he was experiecing terrible anxiety. He returns to the doctor a third time one week from today. I absolutely understand it takes time and trial and error, but I am looking for advice as to how I can help him or at least not create further distance as he is doing much worse now than he was two weeks ago. He has made some poor life choices and hurt people (including leaving me twice in the last two years, thus my fear that's where this will lead) and he is consumed with the fact he behaved as he did as it was out of character to say the least. He works night shift so sleep has always been a bit of an issue, but now it's a terrible problem. He cannot sleep and that makes it all so much worse. He is also dropping weight rapidly and has no appetite. I feel extremely disconnected from him and it hurts my heart, but while I am taking care of myself, I want to do whatever I can to help him. I am very patient, generally helpful, very forgiving, and don't "mommy" him too much, but I'm not sure... I have never experienced genuine depression and I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Is he also seeing a psychoanalyst? Meds are only part of recovery. Whatever was going on inside him before, turmoil, isn't going to disappear with meds. I use the word turmoil because he left you twice and he's becoming worse, as you say. Yes, sleep can exacerbate illnesses, yet, if he's unable to get along with you, behavior, which i presume since you're posting here, then there's something going on inside of him.
Sorry you're both struggling.

Thank you for your reply. We get along in that there is absolutely no fussing, hostility, and so forth...he's just growing distant. One month ago things were lovely...and then the quick spiral as has happened before. He deteriorates and becomes a shell of who he was.

He is seeing a therapist, yes. Fifty minutes a week is just not enough, though. He actually wishes he could seek in-patient care but says he can't due to work and of course the stigma. We are both well aware that he has issues and demons, as he sometimes calls them, to deal with. I certainly hope his sessions help him do that.

Since I haven't experienced depression, can anyone who has offer advice as to what I can do or shouldn't do going down this long road?

2 weeks is not long enough for anti depressant medications to take much effect. I find with almost all antidepressants I tried that I get worse before I get better. Wellbutrin is kind of stimulating and does tend to reduce appetite. But the side effects usually fade with a bit of time. The best thing to do really is to encourage him to continue and give the current strategy a chance to work. If it does not work then change strategy. His medical practitioner should he made aware of the sleep and weight issues. I know how it is. Depression, particularly chronic depression, is right up there with the worst things that can happen to you.

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FalloutJen,ditto what lonely said about letting the Psych Doc know about not sleeping. Lack of sleep can lead to serious situations. If he does take sleep meds, make sure he sleeps a full amount of sleep. Sleep meds can keep working and can be a danger with driving and other works situations.

Taking care of yourself should be your first focus. You are holding things together.

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Does he talk to you about how he's feeling? If so, just listen. Don't try to tell him what to do to make things better--he's probably not in a place to hear it. Also go easy on him in terms of his doing chores and things like that. Depression sucks a lot of energy out of you.

Let him be sad and depressed around you. We often have to put on a happy face and act like everything is normal to the outside world. If he feels he has to do that at home, then that will make it even harder for him.

One thing to consider is marriage counseling. Going to that with my husband has helped him to understand my anxiety and depression better (though we initially went for other reasons). Plus it could help to discuss his leaving you twice and your fear that he'll do that again.