[ap2015]

I feel extremely lonely. I have been reading all sorts of stuff to help me to cope with my emotions but sometimes it feels like I am going nowhere. One decision to make and here a go to a deep whole I take too long to get out from. I feel ashamed and hopeless. I feel tired of feeling too much. I feel sad all the time. How do I feel happy with whatever I got? To feel everything is just too hard. I'm tired

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Ap2015.

Originally Posted by ap2015

I feel tired of feeling too much...To feel everything is just too hard.

Intrusive emotions often characterize depression, anxiety and other problems. They can be extraordinarily difficult to overcome. I have no good answer for you, but many people have written much about the subject. Check out the Coping with Emotions Forum.

Regarding "how to be happy," here's one of many opinions: Happiness tends to resist direct approaches. Happy feelings more readily attach themselves to practical efforts and achievements constructed without reference to happiness.

Please make yourself at home, Ap2015.

[SaraNoia]

I certainly hope you are seeing a Doctor.

I am sorry you are suffering so much.

Feel better soon.

[Tauren]

Originally Posted by ap2015

How do I feel happy with whatever I got?

Depends. If your depression is the only problem, you should look at therapy and medication. If there are external problems, you feel a lot better whenever you take action towards solving them. If things are bad, you don't need to just be happy with whatever you have.

[ap2015]

I have been better in the sense that I force myself to do things. I force myself to go to work, I force myself to say "yes" when friends invite me to a BBQ, but I often want to say "no" and stay at home. If I stay at home though, than I feel horribly lonely.

My deep dive in depression started about 2 years ago and my 3 months old marriage started to go down hill. I just found out my mistake too late and I wasn't mature enough to deal with it as a grown woman, I behaved like a child. I also wasn't strong enough or self confident enough to cope with my own feelings. The past is already in the past, don't feel anything for my ex anymore but being so lonely really gets into me. I feel it's impossible to find a good man in nowaday's world and that also depress me. What I most want is marriage and kids. Old fashion woman. It just seems impossible to find.

I'm a rolling coaster of moods. I feel miserable at my job principally because I don't make enough income. I deal with miserable people at the bank every day and although I have become much better in protecting myself, they still get to draw all my energy. I feel always exhausted and impatient with the world.

I take fluoxetine prescribed by my doctor and it does help. But how can I be just happy? Without anybody or everything? I have been trying to learn that but it seems something unreachable?

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[vital]

Originally Posted by ap2015

I feel extremely lonely. I have been reading all sorts of stuff to help me to cope with my emotions but sometimes it feels like I am going nowhere. One decision to make and here a go to a deep whole I take too long to get out from. I feel ashamed and hopeless. I feel tired of feeling too much. I feel sad all the time. How do I feel happy with whatever I got? To feel everything is just too hard. I'm tired

Hi ap2015,

You might find these notes to be helpful:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

and this is what I think is the best plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

I hope you can give yourself a break and just have a wonderful night's sleep.

Angels on your pillows,

- vital

[francisR]

hi AP

I am sorry things are not working out for you and you don't feel good. Do you think it would be helpful to have the medication looked at? Perhaps seeing a clinical psychologist or therapist will give you the right therapy tools to control depression. It does take some time to program ourselves to respond to symptoms by using the coping strategies.
My depression is continual so that I have to keep using the therapy tools, while at the same time getting on with the business of the day till the symptoms stop which they always do.
I do use acceptance and commitment therapy and literature for this is available on Amazon and should be in the public library. It is based on the idea that, trying to get rid of symptoms only makes them worse so you start to accept them. That would work something like saying to yourself. You are experiencing depression and then observing the feeling pass through your mind and go away. And then you keep doing that persistently till the symptoms stop which they always do, and at the same time getting on with the business of the day.
Things like keeping your mind occupied takes the focus away from depression. Setting and achieving small goals builds confidence that things are coming under control.
Listing the good things in your life and what you have and at the same time seeing what can be added to build a satisfying life would be helpful. As well as that having a consuming passion in life such as a charitable cause, or indeed reconnecting with something that used to fire you up would make life meaningful and satisfying.
There is no reason to feel ashamed. Would you feel ashamed if you have a heart condition? No. So why feel so bad about depression? There is always hope, because people have come back from the most serious depression to fully recover. Which makes it possible for us also. I hope and pray everything will get much better for you in the future. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[ap2015]

Hi Francis and Friends, thank you so much for your words. I have to say it feels good to say exactly what I feel in the group and not be judged. My friends are not sensitive as I am, so they cope better with hiding their own feelings. I'm a "go get it" type of person and I just can't live with something if I don't understand it. This book from Dr. Karyn has been really good and hard to read. I read every section at least two times because it really feels like my brain doesn't absorbs at the first time. The way I see it and exactly as you said, I can't really run away from my sensitiveness. It seems like everything I feel is too deep, joy or sadness. Today I feel much better cause my dark day is gone but when I felt sad I don't see a way out of things. Fear, loneliness and hopeless blind me and until I start accepting it and thinking about solutions or good things, I will drag myself to the darkest sad side of myself. Trying to accept who I am, my emotions and cope with them has been the hardest thing I have ever done in life. I want to master it though because I realized that's the only way I can live a normal and fulfilling life. Respecting the way I feel about things and coping with them is the only way to go. I really struggle with consistency though. I feel ashamed at work that some days I'm laughing out loud and making jokes with everybody and the next it's hard even to say good morning. I spend the whole day praying nobody comes to bother me and those are the days that I obviously get the most miserable customers.
I am really interested about the literature you mentioned, I will look it up and read after I finish Dr. Keryn's book. It is a hard slow process. I'm trying to creat a calendar of things I should do to remind myself of good things I have and with that creat good emotions that will keep myself going and happy but it is hard to fallow it.

Thank you for all your input. I find that praying and having someone who is more spiritual really helps me. I have come to realize that sensitive people like me have the need to connect, touch and feel. Denying our need is just worse. There is long time I have been wanting to volunteer in something but my job really gets my energy. I will go to visit a Church this weekend and I'm really hoping I like it. Church has always been a place I have connected with people, most of them have their hearts more opened and have compassion. They are usually good souls.

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[francisR]

Hi, AP

I think you do very well forcing yourself to go to work, despite feeling bad. You should feel good about that and give yourself the credit because it is very difficult to do in those circumstances. I am sorry that your marriage fell through. It is difficult to find a good man these days. But there are online Christians dating sites that might provide better opportunities.

That is one thing you can feel confident about. No one in this group will ever be judgmental. Hopefully that book by Dr. Keryn will really help you. Sometimes with depression. it is not very easy to absorb information. I have found that also

Accepting ourselves the way we are is very important for peace of mind. Don't feel ashamed about being happy and full of jokes one day and not the next. That is just down to the way that depression affects us. Just think of what you would say to someone in that position. You would show compassion and understanding and acceptance and doing the same for ourselves is best. Making a list of the good things in life to be grateful for does boost the mood and help to see things in the proper perspective.

I hope and pray visiting the church will give you great spiritual strength. Although I am Catholic myself the Pentecostal churches are very good at building a church community with groups that meet during the week for women and different interests. And they do pray with people for healing. Also. I hope and pray your weekend will be really good. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis