right at this moment i feel despair
what to do, need to get somewhere
where the feeling is calm
i know i have it right here in my palm
fighting for self worth
on a board, tryng to surf
to self love and contentment
finding only hate and resentment
clawing at sanity, searching for a step
to drag myself up from the cold clammy depth
heart in my boots as i look for a light
crying so loud it shatters the night.
give me a blanket to soften the landing
because i keep falling just no good at standing
grasping at roots, trying to climb out
screaming inside, no one hears me shout
lost and afraid. lonely to the core
a knife cuts right through, you've heard this before.
sleep is the past, my bed lies unkempt
as for this life, i think i'm exempt.

broken, scared, coping mechanism gone.
so sorry so sorry so sorry.i think i've lost it.

jin

[Wants2Fly]

Are you seeing a counselor or T of any kind, JinnyAnn?

my coucelling 12 sessions ended last week. i am going to be re-assessed on june 18th. if they think i am in a better state of mind they will see me hopefully ha ha.

ty w2f for replying

love jinny xoxoxoxo

[(JD)]

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((((((Jinny)))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(growl at having to wait until June 18th ...)

(((((((((Jinny))))))))

Now I remember why the 18th is so important (I don't remember things very well).
That's soooooo far away especially when you are feeling so bad.
I hope you are able to reach out to your friends at PC and find some comfort.

Oh i do reach out all the time and get comfort from you all. you're all so patient and understanding and lovely - my angels, but there's only so much depressing crap you can take from one person.lol. i love you all dearly, i wish you knew how much you have all helped me each day. i've tried sleeping, and actually, although i didn,t i feel better. maybe it was because i was listening to all my fav music.

the knot in my stomach has gone at last and i feel quite chilled out for 4.09 am lol.

love you all, kerry xoxoxoxoxo

[Psyclox]

Hey jinny sorry to hear your having such a hard time, I really hope that things go well for you. (((((Jinnyann)))))

[Wants2Fly]

JinnyAnn, from the things you have been writing, June 18 sounds too far away. Can the counseling center refer you to a low-cost alternative until then? Are there any free support groups where you live, such as Emotions Anonymous? Even Al-Anon, although geared to those who live with alcoholics, has a program that offers insights into our dystunctinons.

staying away from pc. cant post any more depressing stuff. people are already tired of me. staying in bed so nothing can affect me and noone can hurt me. wish you all well.
ty for all your support. i'll check in now and then.

jin

posting isn't for others, it is for ourselves
No one is tired of your postings. Many times you put into words what others of us are unable to express.

((((((((((Jinnyann)))))))))

[jefftele]

(((((((((((((kerry)))))))))))))))))))) much love ,jeff

[Direction]

I'm glad we were able to chat...there is hope there...

[Wants2Fly]

So very sorry that you are feeling so low, Jinny Ann. Hugs and hugs.

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signed into a new depression site tonight cos i didn't want to post any more crap here. just isn't the same, trying to stay sane and finding it so hard. crisis doc told me to ccome off the prozac and go see my gp on monday morning. dont know if i can get to monday morning. so distressed, diazapam doing nothing to ease this contant pain inside. i've never felt like this in my life, not knowing what to do or who to turn to, so much support but cant seem to reach it. i actually want to go to a mental institution to be kept an eye on, i just dont trust myself at all at this time i have to think about my kids. all that's keeping me nearly functioning. i'm so sorry for being so negative all the time i want to help others too but cant keep my own head above this stinking water called life. i'm sorry,, so sorry.

jin

[meander]

((kerry))

You're so good to everyone here, and this is what PCs for, after all. We love you, don't go!

(((((((((((Kerry))))))))))))))
Please, don't say you're sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. You don't have to go to another website-we're here for you, talk about your pain all you want.

thankyou (crying) you dont know what that means to me.

i'll be ok soon i hope. may be better on different tablets

thankyfor your kind words

jinny xoxoxoxxo

((((((((Jinny))))))))))) We love you!!! You can cry sad tears and you can cry happy tears, too.
Don't forget...~baby!!!

[Emilie]

I know how you feel, it sucks to feel broken and alone And I know this is random lol but I like your quote at the bottom,' keep smiling through the rain and you'll find your rainbow ' it's cute . Anyways I hope everything works out for you. Best wishes!