[FindPeace]

I am super super sensitive and it can be a curse...I've been hurt to many times to the point I don't allow anyone in my life...I have no desire to have friends etc...But each time I fall in a depressive state, I feel like I am alone on an island thats sinking fast...And its a reminder that people aren't safe...Which makes me pull away from my T...

My head is really messed up and I broke down and called my T tonight...She was very caring and understanding but I felt very wrong for turning to her because she is a human...But if I hadn't I wouldn't be here...The voices were getting control and I've been known to injure myself just to shut them up...But this time they were pushing me to die...I came so close of doing something even though I said I never would...

It just one hit after another the past couple of months...I react to everything and I am tired of me....Tired of each day the mountain looks higher.................FP

[meander]

(((((FindPeace)))))

You aren't alone, you know. There are lots of us in the sea around you, on sinking islands of our own. Depression hates us having friends, company or even reaching out, so by posting here or calling your T you're fighting, which is excellent.

Don't feel bad about calling your T, that's what she's there for :-) I'm glad you didn't give in to the voices. Just remember that what they say is almost always lies, or at best a gross distortion of the truth.

[Rose3]

Hi FindPeace
I hope things are settling.
Meander's ideas about voices that tell lies or distort the truth is a helpful way to think of them.
Thinking about friends and who can or cannot be trusted is important.

Rose3

Listen please we are reaching, the monsters we all live with will rule your life if you let them.. You reached out, great you called your T, great your wrote here. What life gives us sometimes sucks big time, but tomorow is just a moment away.....

Hang on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((((((((FindPeace))))))))))))))))
I can relate to so much of what you wrote .... that sinking feeling, that vulnurability ... it is so hard to be going through feeling like that. I am glad that you called your T though. While maybe now you look back and think "well maybe i shouldn't have ..." I think that it was soo so good. Its easy to look back and say that we should have done things differently, but the reason behind that is because we are no longer in that same situation. We are no longer feeling those intense things that we were at that moment ... thus making it easier to question why we did what you did. Yes your T is a human ... but so are you, and sometimes we just have to do what it takes in order to help ourself, and i'm sure your T understand that.

I know its hard, but just try and take a deep breathe and relax. Take things as they come. One foot in front of the other will make that mountain hill become smaller and smaller.

Hugs
Jacq

[gostryter]

i'm glad you shared this. i feel the same way. very sensitive and i don't trust ANYONE!!!!

but because you shared, maybe the next time i'm in a similar circumstance i'll think of your having the courage to reach out. maybe it will give me the courage to do the same!

hope you are feeling better soon and life eases up on you a bit!!!

[moodyblu]

I am also extremely sensitive. Even tougher being a man...cause men are taught to be "manly".
I understand the trust issues. It's unfortunate in our lives that some will view us as weak and take advantage.
However...sensitives must learn their "blessings" as well as "curses". I would say that knowing your unique strengths as well as weaknesses is a good way to cope.
Know what you like to do and involve yourself in these activities...know what and whom to avoid....KNOW that there are others just like you...and know that they have similiar feelings. KNOW that in this...you can trust and have friends.
I'm sorry for your depression...but when you are hurting you must seek others that can help. A thereapist would be needed. Don't be afraid to call,,,it's their job.
There are fine folk here for you also...remember that.
We ALL need and seek human contact!
I pray you Find Peace!
I'm here if you want to talk about it.
Take care friend...
Dan

[FindPeace]

Thanks....I know I'm a human and thats why I hate myself so much!...It seems like late afternoon and into the evening is the worst for me...Once in a blue moon I'll start feeling depressed in the morning but not as often as evenings...

I just haven't been able to figure out the difference....FP

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( FindPeace )))))))))))))))))