confessions of little turtle

My T is anti-med and psychodynamic. He taught me not to add anxiety to the anxiety and in time the attacks go away. The meds cover up the feelings and that's how they keep coming back he says, so he wouldn't help me get any. To heal you have to feel, and in time the body calms down on its own. The relationship is the important part, having a compassionate non-judgmental person to emphatically feel with you. It has taken 2 years, but I don't have the attacks anymore. It was a painful process though. I don't recommend it, even though it works. Because you have to feel, and that's very hard. I still have other overwhelming emotions, I'm working through them in the same way. In time.

OMG! It took 2yrs for your panic attacks to go away. Thats a very long time. How would I get back to my normal life incl a job if I get continuous panic attacks 24/7 for 2yrs?! They cause so much distress. I was hoping that they would go away in 5-6months time

But even with meds and therapy, depression and panic disorder are not going to go away in a couple of months time, isnt it so? Does it take years for one to get better? I feel so disheartened.

I don't know for you....I thought of something else ...
can you get your doctor to do a couple of lab tests...
fasting glucose and fasting insulin levels...
it would be helpful to know if you are insulin resistant...
that can effect your brain cells...

2 more ideas for you----

dr Claire weekes book [more help for your nerves] helped me...
dr david carbonell book[panic attacks workbook]was helpful...

Oh Yes, Dr. Clair Weekes book was awesome! And, it talks a bit about the method I went through. Allowing feelings to happen and not adding more feelings or thoughts to them help them slowly dwindle. It's like the tide going out on the beach. Adding thoughts and feelings to what you are already experiencing is like the tide coming in, it intensifies it. Also figuring out what your feelings are really trying to tell you, because we don't feel for no reason even if we don't know why at the time. That's part of what the therapy relationship helps you do.

Also, having a relationship with someone who is very calm when you are not helps calm you down. Being with my super chill T for so long has helped me absorb some of his chill. I think they call it limbic resonance or attunement. Like when you play one string on a guitar just right and the other strings make a sound too, harmonics.

I can understand the idea of 2 years may seem too long for you. I remind you; however, that you are not me nor I you. I have a bad past and PTSD, and my problems stem from my foundational problems. The really bad attacks only lasted a month and a half. Once I found someone to talk to and help calm me down, I did start calming down. It was a time consuming process figuring out what the real reason I was feeling the way I was. For me it was shame, and I fought against it for a long time. Once I could feel the feelings and let them be what they were, they started to subside.

I confess now that I was a doctor that didn't want to work real hard...
I wanted to have time to enjoy life and not have so much stress...
that's me...

I have a mental illness....depression and anxiety and panic have been with me for years..

but this is NOT ME....I am a human being first...I have a mental illness.... but it is an illness that effects the mind....it is nothing more than another illness to struggle with..
it does not mean that I am an inferior being...we are equal in a certain sense...

I have a mental illness.....I am not a mental illness..
I have a depression disorder....I am not a depression disorder..
I am a human being...

So true little turtle

It baffles me how some supposedly highly educated individuals (some doctors/therapists irl ) disasterously FAIL to grasp this simple truth

I cant believe how I am with other persons in real life....I feel like I am lower down than a worm...how did I ever get this way...I am so defensive about my mental illness...

So many people just don't get it, but that doesn't make them superior

I learnt about a disorder that a distant relative has.. while the closer relative didn't bother, and just complained about her

It is disheartening when so many IRL are judgemental or ?

Don't judge yourself little turtle... we are all alike in some way

there is so much hate and stress out there....where is the love....
there is so much fear....I am very afraid...mostly about me getting more depressed..
I need to pay attention to love...

Our society lives in fear and makes us behave in ways that aren't normal. I feel the same way... a little love and compassion goes a long way and helps us heal

when I started training to be a psychiatrist.....I was a babe in the woods...I was trained to give drugs ....trained to give drugs...you didn't have to talk....these were wonder drugs.....we were real doctors helping the very disturbed people in the hospital...so I wanted to talk only....in private practice....I did that for 7 years and then broke down...

I am not sure where we are going now....what is the cause of these mental disorders....
what is the CAUSE....what part does stress play...what part all kinds of traumatic stuff..
I DONT KNOW....but I do know that we need to do a lot better....we need to know CAUSES...

Yes I agree, if we only knew the cause we could prevent addiction and so much violence...

laffer75----addiction and violence...yes....there is so much stress and pain that we are taking the opiates....why so much pain...

Hi little turtle.I hope it's ok that I am replying here,being a new member.I don't mean to intrude here,but this post caught my eye.

I have been trying so hard for a year or longer to pay attention to love.I realized that's all that really matters in life,loving and being loved.

I spent a long time doing some deep soul searching,trying to figure out and understand who I am,what is my purpose,what is the point to life,etc.And I really do believe this life is about love,learning to love,allowing ourselves to love others,allowing others to love us.

Nothing else really matters.

omg...to love and be loved...that is where I try to be
you are already part of this group...

Welcome to the group

love is the antidote for hatred....I hope fuzzy can love herself a little tiny bit
I hope I can love myself a tiny bit...