confessions of little turtle

Guess I got to go home cause I did make lots of noise. I became involved in an advocacy group and kept turning in bad health care AIDS and got the worse one transfers off the unit and the others had to stop watching TV and interact with their patients....I'll bet they were glad to see the back of me........I don't go quietly into the night. If it had just been me they mistreated I wouldn't have said anything, but to mistreat those who couldn't or wouldn't speak up.....nope can't stay quiet for that.

Omg so true.. "If it had been "just" me who they mistreated"

"They" want us to think we're so ..... That it's only us they project their poison onto...ummmmm I don't think so

nammu and fuzzy---thanks...there are some awful people taking care of us...

I agree, it's scary and sad

I represent some pharmaceutical reps that tell me the exact same thing. They too are disgusted with what they know - that the drug manufacturers are ill motivated. Please do speak up because I am listening. Are there some medications that you believe are appropriate and useful? If so, what are they?

medications....what is appropriate and useful...very good question...
medications are useful...but what are you treating...
and it is good if you know the cause of what you are treating...
there are many errors made when using medications...

another confession today...here I am an 84yo guy....and I feel unlovable....I don't feel I am loved...wow...that really is screwed up...I need help here with this...I think it keeps me from getting close to people...I have a problem...

Little Turtle...I know where you are coming from---there are many of us out there/here who did the best they could given the dysfunction of our current health care system. Money Money Money---who is the best drug seller? How many billable hours have you done? Quick, hurry, ....move along, ....
it makes me sad. But, I am sure you also have memories of people you have connected with, who you have helped, and who have helped you to grow and learn. Those are important memories.

((((((little turtle))))))

thanks winter4me...yes

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu------thanks

loving relationships with my patients...it was so important.....TRUST was a big thing for me..
I have a very hard time really trusting others...it all started when very young...I did not trust my parents....I could not trust them with my life...I went it alone...I am still having problems with that...

Little turtle, how did you manage to become a psychiatrist for all those years while struggling with depression yourself? I find that so totally amazing-you should be proud of yourself!

I don't TRUST the drug companies and their drugs...that is a real shame....I wish I could but I have seen such bad behavior...it is sad...it is hard to trust....and I have a problem trusting others in the health care system....I feel very insecure trusting doctors

I am glad I did not kill myself....it turned out better than I thought...now I am old

(((((((((((little turtle))))))))))))

I am glad you are still here.
I am curious, did you have your own therapy way back then before you started seeing patients? Were you in therapy while seeing patients. From my understanding these actions help prevent burnout. I was curious if you had done these things and it didn't help, or if you hadn't and it might have helped.

I wanted to be dead in 1973...

I have been mostly on anti-depressants...seeing mostly psychiatrists...I had one woman psychologist in the early 80s...she really helped me...she cared about me..looking back it would have been good to have seen a psychotherapist every week while I was working and seeing patients...I would have done better...I was really having a tough time..one thing that helped me...I only worked halftime after my most serious breakdown in 1973...I retired in 1997..

I am ready to tell it all as it was...

"I hate the way the psychiatric system is so arrogant and greedy...
we who are sick want help but we want to be valued and loved..."

I don't know how much different psychiatry is now as compared to when you first entered the field. From my perspective it seems there's a revolving door on the office. Fifteen minutes in and out you go.

Psychologists and therapists all seem to work from the same script these days. A template if you will.

Patients suffering from any mental health illness certainly do need to be valued and loved. As is often the case there isn't much of that in the patients personal life so they seek some kind of solace in their treatment. Un-
fortunately for the patient the time they get is limited by the sheer number of those in need. Of course there is the insurance aspect and ...money.

As I crawl through the system I am becoming more disenchanted. They don't seem to understand or they want to apply a one size fits all solution. I sort of regret going to sessions anymore. All I really want anymore is my sedatives and sleep aids.

Little Turtle, you probably provided much more compassion in your long career than you realize. The mental health community needs a man of your dignity and experience to speak for the patients. The more you get to know people the more you can help them. I desperately need help but, the professionals don't know me well enough to provide a sincere and compassionate and realistic method.

I'm not as experienced or as wise as you but you do provide support to many here at PC and from I've read it has meant a lot to all of them. Let that experience be a candle in the dark for where there is light there is no fear.

With sincerity, M Poirot

oh poirot...I have experienced a lot...but I really am pretty dumb when it comes to psychology...we need to work together to improve our psychiatric care...we all have some serious problems that we are dealing with...it is usually not as simple as not enough serotonin...

I don't get it, why is Psychiatry and Psychology separated?

brazenapogee---
psychiatry ----medical school and psychiatric training---m.d.
psychology----undergraduate and graduate study---phd

I had very little psychology in my training...I learned very little about my own problems...

yes, I know. it just astonishes me that they are kept separated.

at this time in my life I don't know a lot about mental illness...I know the standard thinking of today....but I don't think much is known yet...I think we are making a lot of mistakes...and we are just interested in money and a quick fix...I really don't like what I am seeing....and it scares me....I am not that brave

but I do believe that we need to be more patient and kind...there is such a lack of love out there...

LittleTurtle - if you don't mind my asking, what was it like treating patients while you yourself were suffering? Or did your depression start after you left the field?

it was very hard ...I only was able to work half time...it was very stressful..
but I showed up and I took time with my patients....the administration didn't like me taking time...that was a big problem...
thanks for asking...ask anything...it is all going to hang out now...I am sick of covering up of myself and my profession...it was good and bad