confessions of little turtle

if you will notice I am posting a lot about pre-diabetes and metabolic syndrome...
why would I do that...because I have made a lot of mistakes during my 84 years and
I want to warn...

at age 64 I had a heart attack...
at age 79 I had open heart surgery...they replaced my aortic valve...
that open heart thing is something to AVOID...it was awful...I almost died..
I wouldn't wish for anyone to go thru this...

so what you are eating today effects your heart tomorrow...
and what you are eating today effects your brain today and tomorrow..
your brain------------anxiety and depression

((((((little turtle))))))

It's good to read your posts, I feel less abnormal. I'm a counselor with MDD, GAD, probably some PTSD, and who knows what else. Our problems make us so eager to help others feel better, but it can be so hard to help when we aren't feeling well ourselves. I waited until I was struggling with functioning before I sought help, and it makes me feel inferior as well. My coworkers can function and handle what they hear from their clients, while I'm taking sick time at least once a pay period because I can't handle work.

I am glad we are connected...I like to be together...I have a mental illness...and I need to talk with others about reality....not covering up...I just want to be me with everything that has happened and is happening....I really am glad you posted...

I never made it in the big world of psychiatry....I wasn't famous...and I didn't have much $$$$$....I only worked halftime....I couldn't take anymore than that...and also I am kind of lazy...but I was true to my patients....I was very supportive....I was very skeptical of drugs...but I took them...when I first took drugs it was Elavil and valium...that worked but I had no sex..

I wasn't the smartest vegetable on the truck...and I had a mental illness...and here I am one of this group...I happen to be a doctor but I suffer along with you...I know some things now... but I really think things will be turned upside down...hopefully soon...then maybe we can get some really good treatment...but I think we are going to have to do some hard work...but that hard work will pay off...if we are on the right track..and I really don't like that so much money$$$ is being made off of drugs...they are not on target...

i don't feel inferior, i just feel differrent. learning to love yourself has to be hard for alot of us who have mental illness. i just get afraid people will leave me because they can't handle the hospital stays and other problems that arise. my son is on meds too and understands me. my poor husband has to put up with both of us and does so much to help us.Thank you to my husband!!!

you are my friends...we are in this together...I am different...I am glad you don't feel inferior...

we need to talk about our suffering...what has happened to us....it is vital....
I am a doctor and I have suffered a great deal....my whole medical career was destroyed by mental illness...and I am not wanting to compare whose suffering is the worst...I have heard plenty of people whose life has been screwed over by mental illness far worse than mine...they are to be comforted and helped...I have been LUCKY

I recently had a significant loss...after four years of work on a group I started...it was rejected by the higher ups...it was a health group...I am very ANGRY...I am furious....I didn't realize what a loss this was....I have been more depressed....just now after 4 months am I starting to understand that I am not going to get MY WAY...I would like to blame somebody for this but I was part of the problem...I was challenging the ways of the people in charge....

this has happened to me before when dealing with the higher ups...any ideas for me from the group

i still think a psychiatrist should be able to keep all patient information private...no one can see this but the psychiatrist and patient...and i don't think a psychiatrist should be able to hospitalize a patient against their will....i think the laws are not right...

I want to be stripped of my medical degree...
I want to be stripped of my psychiatrist training..
I want to come down and be with my people..
my people are all of us with mental illness...
we didn't ask for this....we didn't cause it...
I no longer want to teach...I no longer want to be doctor..
I will share information....I know some things...
one thing I know is to have a mental illness is terrible/awful...
I have had many other physical problems and have gotten support..
but I have not been supported with my mental illness...
it is a silent killer....I am going to be speaking up about my illness..
I hope others here will speak up also....you can tell your story here if you want
I will not shut up about the truth of mental illness...and all the abuses that we have had

i just wish i had someone to talk to who understands. trying to talk to T's doesn't help much.

I agree..i think you have to be relating to somebody who has been there and has experienced being mentally ill...it is a problem....most Ts have an agenda
to fit you in...

maybe. I don't know. He said to email if i'm feeling bad, but he doesn't answer. that's worse. I just sent him a goodbye. I'm not in a good place right now. I do everything wrong.

how bad are you feeling.....

a little better, i slept. sorry.

I am glad you shared with me...

I can relate to this, a T I saw had a massive agenda . I wish I had never been there ...SAD GROWL

this is something here....I don't like talking to someone in a superior position of authority...as if they know more than you what is good for you...I think we need to help each other even more...we need to get together more and talk about what is happening...I think it should be done with NOOO$$$$$$$$$$
involved....no $$$$$$$$$$....I would like to have more meetings....are there any meetings now...where we run it....fuzzy you could run it...brazen apogee you could do it...WE NEED TO START TAKING OVER OUR OWN HELP AND SUPPORT....

i don't think i could. the worse i feel the more i sink. that's why i reached out, but there is no help. that's even worse.

maybe there is help for you....is there anything at all that would help...to help you feel better

I guess not feeling like i'm intrinsically wrong. but i don't know how. It seems that everyone i try to talk to doesn't like me once they know the truth about my past and how i feel. I feel like i should exist.

oh brazenapogee....wrong....are you blaming yourself...hugs hugs hugs

I am very upset about the standard 15 minute appointment for a drug check....
what kind of psychiatry is this...it stinks....its sick...the system sucks

My new pdoc sees me for 30 mins and is quite thorough and compassionate. My previous pdoc only saw me 5 minutes, mainly to renew my scripts.