confessions of little turtle

(((((((((( little turtle )))))))))))

I am by far not a doomsday guy or chicken lick in saying the sky is falling ,but it is a damn scary world right now , and this stuff in Serbia is off the hook , but we have not yet learned from our mistakes in fighting proxy wars with the former Soviet Union we arm and pay one side and they the other just like Vietnam, and the whole thing with ISIL was set in motion by Bush promising things they had no plans on following thru on , they faction hated us for paying them and arming them to repel ythe soviets and then dropping them like rocks when the soviets pulled out , then during the Gulf War we promised the non ruling faction a place in the new government if they helped eradicate Taliban , we'll we screwed them again and now they all hate America and the two clans that have been fighting and killing each other for 800 years came together to unite against America, we keep repeating history over and over ad b .at least that's how I see it YMMV.

Misterpain

...I hate the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ that is being made at our expense....please be very careful on what people you choose to help you... and what drugs you use to help out...
I think we have to be VERY CAREFUL WHAT WE CHOOSE...I have made many mistakes

I am feeling very old now....my health is declining....I am still paying attention to
my sugar intake and trying to slow down cognitive decline....I still am on that damn celexa
and I probably will never be rid of it....I was on anti-depressants for a very long time...

I hate that money is involved in taking care of persons with mental illness....
i would love to see the profit motive eliminated from care and treatment...
i just never liked the $$$$$$$$$$$ being involved...it was ugly...

I should never have gone into psychiatry....
I would have been better off sticking to general medicine...
the field of psychiatry was making me depressed....but I kept going...
big mistake...then I broke down big time...

now I am more interested in chronic disease including depression and diabetes and dementia..
psychiatry still makes me sick....psychiatry is sick...psychiatry is in trouble and that means trouble for us...we are being deluged with drugs....drugs are important but we need to be finding better medicines...we need something better

I cant stand psychiatry anymore...I am done with it ....

((((((( little turtle )))))))

From my experience, I agree.... I wish I had never attempted to "communicate" with one who called themselves a "doctor" IRL FIRST DO NO HARM
(This is not about anyone on PC)

I'm honoured to be one of the "phantom" (apologies Wise Rohag ) people/bears here who are learning some doctors have a heart, despite the "system" and it's profound and excruciating failures

please everyone here....do not let other people take you down....don't take yourself down...do not let others take you down...

(((((((( little turtle )))))))))

Grrrrr I so wish other IRL doctors had half of your compassion and intelligence

And of course the FOO (family of origin) - for many of us the FOO were "masters" at the "ability"' to take others (their children) down

Many people are under the misconception that your FOOIS the only one, for many people there FOO is toxic and bad for your mental & sometimes pyhsical health,many fail to see your "family" does not have to be your FOO, they are supposed to love you unconditionally and support you, many don't.

So a wise healthy person says they gave me my genetic origin ! But those that accept you and love you without strings attached are your real family, those are the people you align yourself to , those that think that "blood is thicker than water" have never really had good water, the Mother that adopted me loved me more and gave me more emotionaly than my FOO ever did on its best day.

Knowing when to say enough is too much , is a very very hard thing for people to do, and many are repeatedly dragged down and back in to unhealthy relationships for years and in some cases their entire life, this is unhealthy .

The age old question of "is it nature or nurture" for many people it is nurture or lack of it, it profoundly affects everything from your mental health to the job you do and the partner you choose as a spouse, cutting your loses and finding a good therapist can reverse the effect a toxic family has and may very well be the life or death difference. Learn who makes you whole and healthy and wants the best for you, those are your true family, thank the people that contributed genetic material to create your life and move on , also remember if you don't love yourself nowone else will either in most cases .

I wasn't feeling well this morning....so I took a 5 mg valium tablet....now I feel much better...I also took an extra omega 3 capsule...this helps me make my way through this pile of s--- life..........I hate the way the usa and the world is going...so many people hurt by others....people are valuing THINGS not PEOPLE....I hate it....my life isn't that bad right now...but I look around and am scared...

i hate this life....I hate what people are doing to people...I hate what doctors are doing to patients....I hate what psychiatrists are doing...and you cant go to jail for what you are THINKING...

the only person I treat badly is myself....I need help

(((((((( little turtle ))))))))
You're such a kind and intelligent person, I hope you can treat self kindly today
(I'm not surprised you left the job...so much corruption, so much pain, the big dogs eating and harming good people )

I try. I fail alot. I'm learning not to attack myself. It is hard. Others attack me easy, then it's two people attacking, them and me. I'm learning not to accept their judgments. They know nothing about what it's really like.

Hugs ((( little turtle )))

Great post! I was just thinking the same before I came here and read your words, they know nothing, the attackers.. Nothing of what is like for us

((((((( hugs )))))))

they have no idea...

if others only knew what its like...
it is much worse than anything physical...
I only wish I could be kind to myself...and loving..
maybe someday...somewhere...

i was taught and told -------------talk less and give more drugs....
we have a problem now from this idea of efficiency...
we now see people as things...not as people..
we value objects and $$$....we need to change this kind thinking..

I hated what I was taught and told....I never gave in ....but I had to leave some very good positions....one was a university....

too many people are given drugs without any thought to what may be causing the problem...depression is NOT A SIMPLE problem...there is not one cause and one treatment...

And now you are educating the public through this forum. I wish I had come here before my first PDoc appt. But you are right, the brain is much more complicated than other organs like our heart. I still find what happened to me to be quite "mysterious". I can't figure it out for my one, singular brain. I can't imagine trying to assess hundreds of them using people's sometimes imprecise language skills. You did the best you could when you served your patients.

thanks mysterious153-------doctors need to rebel...they need to join with patients and together fight this corrupt system...doctors and patients together need to fight the unethical $$$$$$$$$$$$system....we are being abused by those who decide the standard of care.....the standard of care sucks..it can be called FAST MOODS..one of the reasons I am depressed---I am angry for being beaten down by those arrogant b--------.I am furious

Those arrogant b------ are full of bs

I told a relative something similar. Response was silence

Over here it's called "NHS choices" choices?

"FAST MOODS" -- you just accurately described how the 100 mg Bupropion pill I take twice a day makes me feel. And before I developed tolerance for it, it accurately described how the 300 mg of Gabapentin I take made me feel. Oh, and the Xanax, I used to take, may have numbed my fear making me brave enough to........

m153---please tell me...I am a valium user
what happened

The first time I made some steps toward an attempt, I had never been in treatment for my depression/SI. Well, I really.....tried but was to afraid, confessed my problem to my spouse and sought treatment. My "treatment" was Bupropion plus Xanax and "wahlaah", my SI is gone! Kept working 40-55 hour weeks and didn't educate myself about depression, hid my treatment from everyone but my spouse, etc.
In 2015, while on Xanax, this time it almost worked and I do not remember experiencing any fear about the experience until this year. It might not have been the Xanax but I think that taking it for more than 5 years probably numbed my emotions. Do you think your valium numbs your emotions?