confessions of little turtle

I am hoping that this little extra treatment... will turn me up some....I hope...

I am sure it will

((((((((((( little turtle )))))))))))

I can relate

I am a psychiatrist...I don't feel like a psychiatrist...how did I ever get here...
I don't know anything....I cant even fix my own problems..
it is really tough for all of us...where do we turn with all this crap out there..
I give up....I give in...I am tired of fighting

I need help with my mind...my body...and my spirit...
you all are helping me here...

((((((((( little turtle )))))))))

and

i am alone...i am scared...

Why are u alone?

i have always been alone and scared....
i tried so hard to be connected and not afraid...
but here i am alone and afraid....i am now going to accept it as just me..
i am not going to try so hard....i am just going to be me...

It’s good you are reaching out on here. What is something you did for fun way back, before depression began bullying you?

thanks sugarbeeme....my first breakdown changed my life for ever....i had fun before that...and i have had some fun after...but i am alone now...i am not connected with anyone...no one...i do not trust anyone to be able to accept me as is...without some negative judgement...

i am first a person with a mental illness...and then comes all the other stuff like being very old...i am still dealing with a mental illness after most of my life...off and on again..

I don't understand why we beat ourselves up so much....maybe we would like to beat up some other people...we even kill ourselves...what is going on

I am really shy and sensitive...that is me...I do not speak up...I need to just say what I am about...both good and bad...with the people I know...there are certain persons that are toxic and they will never hear what I really think...I will not spend my time with them...

.. >> toxic persons ggrrrrrrrr <<

yes fuzzy ...I thought I was crazy...
they are the crazy ones...

Same with me but I don't care about the negative judgement.

omg fuzzy

I was not a strong enough person to practice psychiatry without breaking down...
the responsibility was too great for me...I was not able to deal with all the suffering...
I could have turned to drugs but I didn't thank goodness...and I didn't end up dead...

My depression is returning. It has been very bad since y'day. Also a bad back pain and whole body pain. I can't take an anti-depressant as it causes aggression attacks in me after a few weeks of taking it. Maybe I can make it into half and take it for one week during the severe depression phase, say a couple of weeks, and then drop it?

whatever works for you...I think you need a good therapist that will talk with you about your life and how to reconnect with people...like a boyfriend

Where do you find one of those therapists? Also, where do you find one of those boyfriends?

excellent question ....I am not an expert at finding a good therapist or a boyfriend...but I do know what it takes to recover ....desiree has to do this...it is very hard....she needs this...maybe others here have some ideas..we could have a new thread-----how to find a good therapist and a good friend.....

maybe the first step is a good friend...how do you find a good friend..

Good post little turtle

Thank you for not always recommending “medication” or .....

...........

(I already know about those things )

Good idea for a new thread