confessions of little turtle

Some people never blame themselves for anything. Others psychically reach out to assume blame for anything in sight - including things clearly not under their control. Why?

I hope someone can answer this good question rohag

Even I want to know. I think it is biological though...

des---I think it is biological also...I would add psychological and social ..
the model for causation of depression bio/psych/soc..

as much as I love my valium....I really do not trust the drug companies....the brain/mind is so complex....they are just throwing these drugs at us... who knows whether they will hurt or help...I just don't know...but I am suspicious....

Valium is pretty benign , I have been on an every night diet of flu?razepam ( dalmane) or temazepam ( restoril) for 40 years as well as trying any thing and everything under the sun to get to sleep, occasional something worked a night or two but these have worked for me fortunately most times when I developed tolerance to one i switch to the other for a couple of weeks . I havent jutated to anything yet , so you should be fine.

Yes you are correct. Biological changes brought about by psychological and social factors

I rely on clonazepam for a good night's sleep as well

I feel so sorry for kids....it is so sad...they are exposed to so much junk..
I just heard about another suicide....a 17 yo boy...
where are we going...that boy may have been taking Prozac..

i just checked...I haven't had a valium during the last 3 months...I am surprised..
I saw my psychiatrist this last week...I have seen him a very long time...
I want to be loved...well I better start loving others...that is the way it works now...

when I was younger and breaking down I started on the drug bandwagon and couldn't get off...I thought these drugs would fix my problems....they didn't...they just pushed them to the background...

when I was at the high point in my practice... I broke down....most of my patients were not on drugs and I didn't care about diagnosis...I broke and it was terrible...I couldn't do much...I just cried and stayed in bed a lot...I don't know what happened..

that keeps coming back at certain times like right now...one of my friends was not being respectful...I felt he was trying to take me down in a power trip...I got very angry...today I have returned to thinking about my bad breakdown...I still feel responsible for stopping work and taking disability...I feel guilty...

today I feel like a failure...I have failed in my life...I have just floundered...

To me, you sound like a fascinating person who lived and lives an interesting life. Please don't beat yourself up so much. You are loved. And you are worth something.

You are so brave to face your demons. Your honesty is brave. I am so very thankful for your generation. Your generation had to forge path through the darkness of depression. I am reaping the benefits of that work. I have a life because the mental health community learned from the doctors and patients who tried to find relief for this deadly disease— depression.

(((((((((( little turtle ))))))))))

You are not a failure. You are helping us...at least you have helped me

Little Turtle—you wouldn’t blame others for having a breakdown and taking disability. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You’ve always done the best you could.

Gee whiz Doc you sound like all depressed people at some point in there illness staying in bed and possibly crying for a reason you may not even know , but at the time it worked , it was what you were capable of , it was the best version of you that you could muster , no need to be cruel to yourself about it, It got you thru , and no matter doing your best to get you a tommorow is what counts , you deserve a pat on the back if those were the coping skills you had to work with , you did a fine job .if we could just transfer your "lived it guts" into All newly minted doctors they could see things from both sides.
So hold that little turtle head high.

thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks...you all are so kind..
you all have helped me ....

((((((((( little turtle ))))))))

You’ve helped me, thank you for being a wonderful human being

And I like that you don’t believe in those “diagnoses” which sometimes can do so much harm ..

I’ve really screwed up today. Well done fuzzy paws

(((((((( little turtle ))))))))

I screwed up really big Monday...I got very angry grrrr at one of my friends...
it wasn't pretty...I lose it mostly with my wife...

I really like alcohol....my wife and I have some before dinner every day..
I know that it is not recommended when you are on an anti-depressant...
but I do it...I don't think alcohol is something you need....but I like it...

I am continuing disturbed....it scares me...I don't want to be in that wanna die place again...I am taking 5 mg valium twice today...I am taking coffee twice today..and I am watching what words coming out of my mouth...went for a walk...I am not liking some people right now