confessions of little turtle

Turtle candy and wine are the same poison, Dark chocalate in moderation has mood lifting brain health , heart health properties.

When wine is broken down by the body it becomes sugar and empty calories , this why you don't many diabetics in bars , 5 gallon buckets of insulin make dancing awkward even if your significant other is Hand truck.

Now bear with me here (I just lost half the readers )for my chocalate fix smash bars of trader Joe's dark chocalate ( it is made by Godiva in Belgium, good stuff,cheap) and (here goes some more readers) eat Dannon Oikos Mayan chocalate greek yogurt , it all natural , yogurt is good for you , its intensly creamy sometimes i freeze it as guilty pleasure , its chocalatey non highly over sweetened with cinnamon and other "sweet spice " notes to it , its exactly the flavors i imagined the mayans, aztec, and even the Roman empires rulers would have drank in there ceremonial chocalate drink ( yes I have a wild imagination and an adventurous palate ) its a great thing to eat as snack or a reward as desert , many times I will make ginger infused black bean & chicken burritos ( remember the adventourous, get ready) topped with pineapple salsa,advocado, and kim chee (south korean sauerkraut, fermeted cabbage with chillis and garlic) sweet, spicy, creamy,hot, pungent, herbaceous, and I use whole wheat low carb wraps( if you like them when I can get good olives I add them to ). Kim chee like other fermented vegetables is body and mind healthy, potentialy life extending , and then eat some mayan chocalate yogurt sprinkled with pieces of dark chocalate for desert to cleanse the palate . The sweet pineapple also has a nice digestive aid and gives you the sweetness from natural fruit sugars which is much better than refined sugar , a variation is to leave the pineapple salsa off and add a balsamic maple glaze.

If you cant tell I like sweet & savory, sweet & spicy ( I still have not mustered the courage to try a PB&J cheese burger , that crosses so many lines )

Yogurt, and Kim chee just as things like pickles , chow chow , gougjang ( fermented chili's & soybean paste it's the oriental version of Srirachia made for 1000's of years) are essential food groups , just use caution if you take an MAO inhibitor, consult you physician the adverse effects can be severe .

Give those a try my good little turtle , eat to live & live to eat , when I die may I drowned in a gray boat or a huge vegetable lasagn.

Desiree my mom used to teach clients to shop yard sales, second hand stores , salvation army etc...

To buy cheap dishes and when you realy feel destructive / aggressive go outside and smash cheap China in the drive way to get it out harmlessly , pots and pans are noisy and reusable but lack that good satisfying crash/smash that a plate or coffee mug will.
And for night time fluorescent light tubes if you can get them are fantastic because you can throw them like a javelin and at the moment they hit they flash like lightening and make a very satisfying pop before the glass shatters in a million pieces .

little turtle A very wise turtle, thank you for being here

Misterpain,

The anger comes so quick I don't get a second to think. Then I am a robot to my anger. My brain has to work to make me divert the anger to break unimportant things. So this won't work. So I have to remain in a bit depressed state. I can't take anti-depressants or stop my anti-psychotic. Very unfortunate for me.

I was hospitalizes for about 5 to 6 weeks, then had to go to after care m-f all day for about 6 weeks.

how bad did you feel....when I broke down I didn't want to live any longer..and I just was crying and crying

I was on sucide watch in the psy ward, and someone was watching me 24/7.

that must have been awful for you...

It was. But I am doing better from that. That was about 7 years ago.

it was probably for katydid777....it was probably for all of us...depression can be terrible...it is hard to tell others what it is like...there is nothing else like it....it is terrifying...

So much sadness. This life is freakin nuts



((((((((( little turtle )))))))))))

That is why I like this site so much- people who really can understand that desperate state of mind. Others who have made it through, or are struggling through it currently. Other people don’t really get it- not really. It’s not their experience- thankfully for them. ❤️❤️

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

And hugs

Good post

thank you...thank you...this is really so nice....
we can say how bad it is and was...
in the past I cant believe how awful it was...
but now I do feel better....still problems but feeling better
and I am only taking 5 mg celexa...and I see a psychiatrist every 3 months

major confession--------------wow.. have I been putting myself down....I have been feeling so guilty for just living...the stigma of mental illness is there ...I have taken myself down for not being able to function....well I wasn't able because I had an illness.. a sickness that only those that suffer with it can know how it can cripple you...
cripple you....it took me down....I am not a weak person...I am not guilty of high crimes...others have taken me down but I have attacked me more than any other person could do....I am with me 24/7...

my 3 breakdowns were unreal...I couldn't imagine what happened to me

most so-called normal don't understand that at times you just cant do anything...you are in mental paralysis...people understand paralysis of the body but not the mind..sometimes I could not do anything...wow...I could not do anything..that was scary..

I agree. No regular person understands, and I live with 2 of them.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Have any of you lived with a depressed person? When growing up, my mom had depression.

Depression and Suicide have plagued my family for decades. My entire immediate family suffers from depression, and other mental illnesses. I’ve lost 3 extended family members to suicide. It’s hard living with a depressed person, especially when you, yourself suffer debilitating depression.

I’m now a grown up adult, I live with a male roommate who thankfully does NOT suffer from any mental illnesses or depression. He’s tickle-me-Elmo happy all the time. It helps me to live with a non depressed person.

I was thinking about mental illness...are people out there thinking that we ARE BAD for having a mental illness...that we are bad for wanting to die ....I just don't know...is the stigma about not working..

My father (deceased) and mother - depression and more. My family has many people in it who definitely have/had depression.

I was diagnosed with MDD. But, I swear the depression was due to a relationship issue (but that could be the other way around).

I don’t feel depressed at all, when I’m not ‘down’.

I am going through a very rough phase now. I wish it ends soon.