[Desolatex]

I'm 17 years old and I was raped about 6 months ago [trigger]. Even before that whole assault occurred I envied people in relationships, it seemed no matter where I went romance and affection were crammed in my face. I have had previous ""relationships"" (I say it like this because they were over the internet) and they helped a little, I got verbal affection but never physical. I have only ever kissed 2 people in my life, once when I was 12 and the last time 6 months ago when I was raped [trigger]. I crave affection from someone and I always feel lonely even when I have friends I hang out with. I have been feeling lonely for about 2 years, some days are better than others. Every time I try to get away from people talking about their relationships (because it upsets me and reminds me of how lonely I am) it always comes back. Everyone always tries to convince me that I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy but my friends affection isn't enough. Human beings need affection. All of my family relationships are strained so thats a no. There is always an ache in my chest like its hollow from loneliness. Please someone help....

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[starryprince]

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I understand where you're coming from. I also have been suffering from depression and loneliness for years now. I agree with you: people need affection, and that's totally okay. Some of us want that one special person who understands us on multiple levels, and who we are connected to. I hope that you find that person and I hope that, in time, your loneliness will ease.

[adam_k]

Humans are social being. You can't rely on someone to make you happy but having no one can make you lonely and sad.

Youve been through a lot of trauma with what happened. There are kind loving people out there. You are young and will probably cross paths with someone that feels right.

Do you think it would be best to work on what happened and find some healing before things get complicated by your trauma?

I hope you find someone who shows you the love you deserve. No one deserves what happened to you and I'm sorry you had to live through that and carry the mental scars with you. You had something taken away from you that makes you feel free, your personal choice. He did what he did and it was the worst type of thing someone could do to someone else and you didn't have any control over the situation.

You can find love. There are a lot of people out there in the world and most of them are kind and loving.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by adam_k

Humans are social beings. You can't rely on someone to make you happy but having no one can make you lonely and sad.

Well said.

Originally Posted by Desolatex

All of my family relationships are strained

I fear that inevitably intensifies your feelings of loneliness.

Originally Posted by Desolatex

I have been feeling lonely for about 2 years

(Feel free to ignore these questions:) Why these two years? Did something (else) happen two years ago? How long have you been living with your grandparents?

[Fuzzybear]

[Desolatex]

Originally Posted by adam_k

Humans are social being. You can't rely on someone to make you happy but having no one can make you lonely and sad.

Youve been through a lot of trauma with what happened. There are kind loving people out there. You are young and will probably cross paths with someone that feels right.

Do you think it would be best to work on what happened and find some healing before things get complicated by your trauma?

I hope you find someone who shows you the love you deserve. No one deserves what happened to you and I'm sorry you had to live through that and carry the mental scars with you. You had something taken away from you that makes you feel free, your personal choice. He did what he did and it was the worst type of thing someone could do to someone else and you didn't have any control over the situation.

You can find love. There are a lot of people out there in the world and most of them are kind and loving.

I do think it would be best to work on it first. But, that being said I also want to at least ease the loneliness while I deal with this stuff.

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[Desolatex]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Well said.

I fear that inevitably intensifies your feelings of loneliness.

(Feel free to ignore these questions:) Why these two years? Did something (else) happen two years ago? How long have you been living with your grandparents?

Nothing very traumatic happened its just a build up of multiple things. I understand I'm young and wont find true love now and I'm not expecting to, my friends always rub in my face about their bfs and gfs all the stuff the do with them, all my cousins have had lots of gfs while I have had none. I have lived with my grandparents for 6 years.

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[Ceara1010]

Hi Desolatex,

I am so sorry for what happened to you and for your current loneliness. Yes, you are young and a lot of people your age haven't had any serious relationships yet. (When I was in high school, I don't think I knew anyone who did--college is where everyone seem to finally find someone.)

Have you received any counseling to help you deal with the traumatic affects of your assault? Actually, the trauma from this might complicate your attempts to get close to someone--this happens with most assault victims--but this could probably be worked through with the help of counseling and/or support groups geared specifically for sexual assault survivors.

If you haven't gotten any help yet, I suggest you contact The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) as they can give you information and connect you with support centers in your area.

--Ceara1010

[so_punk_rock]

I'm sorry for what you went through. I can't say I even come close to understanding your pain in dealing with that. I can definitely relate to your feelings of intense loneliness. I feel the same way, anything that reminds me of love and relationships makes me terribly sad. It's because of my own weird psychological issues and self-destructive habits. I also like to think you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I'm just not sure how you would get rid of the loneliness. If you ever find out, let me know. Loneliness is visceral. It feels as if it's sticking to your ribs and it seeps down deep within your soul, and sucks the life out of you.

[Desolatex]

Originally Posted by Ceara1010

Hi Desolatex,


I am so sorry for what happened to you and for your current loneliness. Yes, you are young and a lot of people your age haven't had any serious relationships yet. (When I was in high school, I don't think I knew anyone who did--college is where everyone seem to finally find someone.)


Have you received any counseling to help you deal with the traumatic affects of your assault? Actually, the trauma from this might complicate your attempts to get close to someone--this happens with most assault victims--but this could probably be worked through with the help of counseling and/or support groups geared specifically for sexual assault survivors.


If you haven't gotten any help yet, I suggest you contact The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) as they can give you information and connect you with support centers in your area.



--Ceara1010

Thanks you, about 2 months ago I tried to kill myself over what happened to me and stayed in the hospital and received counseling. Currently its hard for me to get into my therapist for an appointment. I have been lonely for a while now and being assaulted may have exasperated my loneliness but it has always been apart of my life. I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

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[Desolatex]

Originally Posted by so_punk_rock

I'm sorry for what you went through. I can't say I even come close to understanding your pain in dealing with that. I can definitely relate to your feelings of intense loneliness. I feel the same way, anything that reminds me of love and relationships makes me terribly sad. It's because of my own weird psychological issues and self-destructive habits. I also like to think you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I'm just not sure how you would get rid of the loneliness. If you ever find out, let me know. Loneliness is visceral. It feels as if it's sticking to your ribs and it seeps down deep within your soul, and sucks the life out of you.

I know I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, its the loneliness that I was so bad to go away. I feel we relate in a lot of ways based on what you're saying it seems as if you read my mind. Pm me if you would like to talk, you don't have to. I have tried everything I can think of to get rid of the loneliness it just never goes away...

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