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Hello Christina,
very often people say we depressives are sorry for ourselves.
Know what? There is nothing bad when you get an awful disease like this one!
I notice that "sorry" is the most recurring word in your posts. Please stop being sorry! But if you have to, be sorry for yourself! Youthink bad about yourself, but I want to encourage you to be more selfish. Everytime one is told to change his/her attitude it is aften an impossible task, but maybe you can do this if you cling to the most prominent thing in your life: the PAIN. You are currently the most suffering person in your neighborhood, everyone should be glad not to be in your place and be kind to you.
Do you get the point? You are not bad, you are a wonderful, sick person. Stop being sorry! Don't ask for excuse.

The best of luck

christina...... i was gone awhile but i remember your kindness and support........ please don't let anyone make you feel bad. anyway you supported me when i needed it...... i think you are a very good person and i hope you are feeling better........ ((((((((((((christina))))))))))))

(((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))

Why are you always so supportive when I'm not as supportive of you? Wonderful friendly bear.

((((((((((((stefano)))))))))))))

Thank you for pointing that out. I apologize a lot for stuff... even in real life, and even for stuff that isn't about me or not in my control. *sigh*

thanks

((((((((((bellaviolet))))))))))))))

I remember you... thanks for the hug.

((((((canders))))))

I'm sorry I'm late replying I've come to a point to where I can love people like you...and pray for you because I caer =]. You're a wonderful human being who we need, you care...you love,...we need those things in this world...

Dustin

family has been known to rip our hearts out and then stomp them..........i'm sorry, xoxox pat

family has been known to rip our hearts out and then stomp them..........i'm sorry, xoxox pat

((((((((((((Dustin))))))))))))))

You are such a wonderful person and good addition to PC - I hope you know that.

(((((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))

Loved me enough to send it to me twice?

Family can sometimes be a really big pain in the butt...

thank you my friend!

Since I dont wanna take up more space on the board where people need more help than me...

I never knew how much energy it takes to get dressed. I woke up at 3pm after sleeping for 12 hours, been awake for ~2hours and now want to go back to bed.

Didn't eat at all yesterday. Ate after midnight. Only eating that one time today.

So nasty feeling. Haven't left bedroom except to go to the washroom. No energy to brush teeth or hair or to have a shower.

Want to cry but can't. No more energy. Nobody around to be around. Can't get outside today. Monday is a holiday, so no people around. By Tuesday, I wont want to go outside and be around friends.

So it begins... I'm slipping into the hole. And I dont have enough energy to care.

Bed looks good right now. Need to lie down. Dont feel so good.

Edit: My day just keeps getting worse. my sister and mom are coming to take me out for supper. i told them I wasnt feeling well and they're still dragging me out. I said only if I didnt get any lectures. Said they wouldnt. I dont believe them. They're going to make everything worse. I can't breathe. I'm going to have an anxiety attack. I cant be happy and fool them. I have to get dressed properly and look decent and pretend to be happy and go out in public and I dont want to do that. I guess I have to eat, and I dont wanna do that either.

Canders,

I hope your family behaves, and you can enjoy a good meal together!!

That's what is so great about PC we can take turns supporting and being supported.

It is easier for some of us to support than be supported.

With hugs and love,

EJ

(((((((((((((((EJ))))))))))))))))

Love you, Thanks!

My family behaved. I got some words in about how I was feeling and about some of the stuff they say that bothers me. They didn't scream at me, that's good right?

Totally agree with the statement about being supported. I know I talk a lot, but learning how to ask for help is HARD.

Thanks

(((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))

Always could use an umbrella.

Thanks lovely friend

Christina,

it's been a rough weekend for you with everything that's happened... I hope that maybe it'll be easier for you now with him gone, but I know that it's probably a lot harder. I promise it'll get better one day :-)

Thinking of you....

(((((((((meander))))))))))

he's still in the province... doesn't leave the country for a few weeks. It has been a rough weekend, I hope it gets better... we'll see. Thanks!

Yeah, life sucks.

I feel bad about posting again. Attention seeking miserable person. I wish someone would slap me.

I am awake at 6:30am. I haven't slept since 3pm yesterday. I slept from 3am-3pm yesterday.

I can't sleep. I never knew it physically hurt to be alive. But lo' and behold, it does.

I have an appt with T Wednesday. No way to get appt before that with him. I'm supposed to see someone else if it's bad, but there's only a woman and I dont like her. Dont trust her.

I wish this was just about a boy. I wish I could eat. I wish I could convince myself that it was just lies in my head that keep saying bad stuff. But I can't. I believe it, but I dont.

Never mind. I cant write. I cant concentrate. It hurts to annoy people. I'm sorry. It takes too much energy to do anything. Just gonna try to sleep again. No crying. Too tired. Phooey.

IMO, you're not bothering anybody. You're reaching out and that is good! As someone said, we all need support at times but receiving is hard to accept. You've helped out others during the times that you can, now we're here to help you.

It's okay if you need to sleep right now. But please try and move around a bit while you're awake - just a little bit each day - one step then two then three then four . . . . You may not feel it now or believe it, but it will help you to feel better. I know it seems an impossible task, but please try. Going out to dinner worked out well, yes?? You got some things off your chest that you needed to say and your family behaved. Use that experience as a spring board for the next one.

Gentle Thoughts, SBD

((((((((((((((SBD))))))))))))))

I like that pretty bird in your signature.

I'll try to do the step-thing. It's just hard. I feel sluggish. *shrug* Thank you so much for good suggestions. I mean that.

I know it's hard and you're doing a good job of trying to take care of yourself. You're reaching out in a healthy way.

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SongBirdandDaisy said:
I know it's hard and you're doing a good job of trying to take care of yourself. You're reaching out in a healthy way.

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Doesn't feel like it. Feels self-centred. I think I suck at taking care of myself.

Thanks (((((((((((((((SongBirdandDaisy))))))))))))))

It's not self centred... I like reading other people's posts, even if they are sad, because it helps me realise I'm not alone, and if I can help them even just a little bit, it means I've done something worthwhile today, which is a big goal for me. So technically you're doing me a favour :-)

I hope you're feeling better, just take it slow, and work your way through.

Thanks ((((((((((((meander))))))))))))))