[Hopeofreedom]

When I'm feeling my worse and on the edge . I feel so guilty! Like I come from a middle class background, my father was in the picture (but a predator) and so was my mother. I never had to worry about food or shelter.

And I live in the USA, though it has its many problems, it's one of the richest countries in the world.

I did have friends before my self isolation made them drift away.

I could go on.....etc

What's wrong with me? The only reason I'm still here today, is because I don't think I have a RIGHT to be so suicidal? Like their people going thru WAY worse than me. Buy I still feel like this? Makes no sense.

Anyone else?

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

YES, you sound exactly like me. Wonderfully cared for, loved and wanted, but seldom really felt it. Felt "emotionally abandoned" by age 9 or 10 (how weak and pathetic, right?), and have been self-loathing in some way for as long as I can remember.

Yet some part of me feels so furious and ashamed when I remember how good I have it, when I see someone talk about how they snap themselves out of depression by remembering that someone has it worse, a mindset I find disgusting. I don't know how to get around it.

[elevatedsoul]

well, things weren't so good for me growing up.. or ever really, and still arent
but i do feel guilty as well, because im supposed to be stronger but i struggle with many things... i do tell myself as well that there are others who have it much worse and i should just snap out of it, but i cant either..

this is what depression can do to us, it warps our mind.. our thoughts.. everything begins to go through this filter of depression and we get the muddy water... we have to try to add another filter to re-filter the stuff so that its a bit cleaner when we get it, as thoughts and whatnot... its not easy, but this is the war that we have to go through..

anyone can get depression, anyone can get anxiety, anyone can get pretty much any mental illness.. and its not their fault, but its something that we have to work through right?
you didnt ask to be depressed, this is what i tell myself... didnt ask for these issues, dont want them, but i have them.. i dont use my problems to make others feel bad or guilty, dont try to take advantage of anyone because of problems or try to manipulate them through making them feel bad...
so i tell myself that i shouldn't feel so guilty... because its something that im working hard on, and one day will hopefully beat

try not to let that guilty feeling be too strong, try not to get angry with yourself...
be nice to yourself and take care of yourself, we care about you all

i dont know if it will help for me saying this, but you shouldn't feel guilty, this coming from someone that maybe could of had it a little worse..?
so if i feel like that, and im telling you not to feel guilty, and im telling you we care and that it doesnt matter how good you have it or bad you have it, depression is still depression, then you gotta stop beating yourself up right ?
and dont take it the wrong way, i dont like complaining about my life so im not trying to be all like "i have it soo bad" because theres always someone that has it worse... but just want you to know that we dont think your a bad person... and you shouldnt feel guilty about it because that will make you feel worse... you are struggling with mental illness and thats no ones choice
(most of the time)

hang in there.. try to do something nice for yourself, and dont feel guilty about it

[Unrigged64072835]

I hate comparing myself to people who have it worse. Its like I'm negating my pain. I now compare where I'm at now to where I was a while back. That to me is showing progress.

[dexter]

Hi Hopeofreedom you absolutely have a right to feel this way and you also have a right to help yourself to not feel this way.

You can't compare yourself to others because your pain is your own. If you broke your arm would it stop hurting if you found out someone else had a broken arm and a broken leg?

The pain you feel is yours and it is yours to own and yours to get help for. Hope you feel better soon.

{{{{Hopeofreedom}}}}

[Hopeofreedom]

Thanks everyone for the nice and encouraging comments.💜.

I'll try to not beat myself up, I want to live for all those who weren't given the chance!

[Jenny R]

That happens to me as well. I know depression is a disease but sometimes my problems seem so small that I feel guilty. I try to remember the problem isn't the problem, the depression is the problem.

[Hopeofreedom]

Originally Posted by Jenny R

That happens to me as well. I know depression is a disease but sometimes my problems seem so small that I feel guilty. I try to remember the problem isn't the problem, the depression is the problem.

I really need to tackle this depression!! It's slowly killing me!

[RandolphCarter1919]

I feel guilt a lot like you. Especially in today's current climate that seems to pile on the guilt. As bad as myself or my family has it, I know others suffer far worse than I do.

Now while I acknowledge that and let it "ground" me, because I like to keep things in perspective, sometimes all that grounding can backfire and I forget to take care of myself because I let the "it could be a lot worse" get the better of me.

I am trying to find a common ground between my own health concerns and over complaining...

[Hopeofreedom]

Originally Posted by RandolphCarter1919

I feel guilt a lot like you. Especially in today's current climate that seems to pile on the guilt. As bad as myself or my family has it, I know others suffer far worse than I do.

Now while I acknowledge that and let it "ground" me, because I like to keep things in perspective, sometimes all that grounding can backfire and I forget to take care of myself because I let the "it could be a lot worse" get the better of me.

I am trying to find a common ground between my own health concerns and over complaining...

Yup, your so me!! I know I shouldn't make a big deal about it, but I feel I should be MORE grateful not all melancholy. And laying in bed all day and night and hating the world. I dunno😟