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#1
Aug 04, 2007, 01:56 AM
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tring to get past this bad work stuff but hatng me right now..... drank alot fo wine......cut myself....... havent done tha t in a long time an feel guiltty....... want to be ok and say im ok but im not...... why cant i jus be a normal person ...... felt ok yestrday.....this sucks..............loser............i hurt and cant fix it....... called my brotherr but he wa s distracted got rid of me..........noone to talk to
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"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens |
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#2
Aug 04, 2007, 05:49 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((bellaviolet)))))))))))))))))))))))
i'm sorry you're feeling so bad!!!! i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better!!! don't be too hard on yourself about the cutting. so you slipped up...that's ok....you don't have to do it again. you were just feeling really bad. you're not a loser! you've been a wonderful friend to me - trying to help me! i'm sorry your brother was distracted - i'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you! try talking with him again tomorrow! be a little forceful and say you really need for him to listen. i'm sure he will. in the meantime, you can always post here and feel free to PM me!!! feel better!!
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I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people. ~ Isaac Newton |
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#3
Aug 04, 2007, 03:12 PM
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(((((((((((gostryter))))))))))))
thank you so much for your kind words...... i probably shouldnt have posted at all last night........ i ended up drinking way too much and me and alcohol dont mix well when i'm feeling down. hungover today and still upset about this work situation but a litle more in control at least. i'm still upset that i cut again though......hadnt done it in a couple months and i thought i was over it. thank you again for being there..... you're a good friend to me too and i appreciate it very much..... and you can pm me anytime too......
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"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens |
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#4
Aug 05, 2007, 10:56 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((bellaviolet))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that things are so hard. Please try and not be so hard on yourself about the SI. You didn't do it for a long time and you can rely on what helped you before. Sometimes the alcohol and the SI are not a good combination. It appears the alcohol and the urge to SI are ways you are trying to cope with such a painful situation. Maybe you can brainstorm to come up with a way that is not hurting yourself? Please take care.
BB
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#5
Aug 05, 2007, 01:20 PM
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(((((((((((((((bb))))))))))))))))
thank you....... i know i shouldn't blame myself too much for the si i just get angry with myself when i look at it..... it's ugly. the alcohol was a bad idea........ i usually try not to drink when i'm feeling bad because it only makes things worse..... i was just feeling so rotten the other day i said "screw it, i'm gonna get some wine." it was a bad decision. i just really need to focus to keep myself from making bad choices like that.
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"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens |
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#6
Aug 05, 2007, 04:01 PM
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((((((((((((((bellaviolet)))))))))))))
You're right, drinking does tend to make things worse when it comes to SI ... happened to me before. Inhibitions seem to go out the window... If you're not okay and don't want to tell anyone IRL about how you're really feeling ... talk to us. It sucks not being "okay". You are not a loser in any way ... as for being 'normal' ... not sure what to say about that, since I like being abnormal. More fun. (Yeah, not helpful) Sorry about your brother. Have you tried phoning him back now and talking to him again? Be good to yourself.
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#7
Aug 05, 2007, 10:24 PM
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((((((((((christina)))))))))))
thank you very much.... yeah, the alcohol does nothing good for the depression or the si......part of me doubts i would have been feeling quite so bad if i hadn't had so much damn wine. guess that's why i try to avoid it most of the time....... wish i liked being "abnormal'. mostly i just wish all my crap would go away and i could be like most people...... though my brother says "most people" are screwed on some level, and that most of the people i think of as "normal" probably have their own issues.... speaking of my brother, i did speak to him briefly today......he did his best to help.... but he's an optimist so it can be frustrating for a dedicated pessimist like me....
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"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens |
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