[Eamgr]

Anyone ever feel like they are being judge or people are still stigmatising depression and anxiety.

I am finding that rather than just being there for me when I need them or giving me a hug and saying always here for you or it won't last forever which is what you want to receive when your feel down.

I've listed a few experiences as anyone else had the following said too them or similar ones.

1. You will get a job or the career you want just don't give up
2. Think positive thoughts and all your negative feelings will go away
3. Don't be sad just be happy
4. It's the depression and anxiety talking
5. Do something you enjoy and then you will be happy
6. Stop playing the victim
7. Be happier and more people will like you
8. Have more confidence and your more likely to get someone to go out with you
9. Take up a hobby
10. There are people who are much worser off than you.

I probably could list about a hundred but this is what I get from people who claim to be my friends and also from my family. They say they are here for you but when the time comes they either don't really want to know or they just say stuff like above.

For those who are not suffering with a mental illness or emotional problems etc. Being happy, enjoying life, having confidence and having full control of their mind is very basic. But they really don't know how difficult it is for people such as ourselves.

One day I know I'm going to flip at someone and say stop judging me

[Humpty Dumpty]

I understand where you're coming from. 2 things that are often said to me even on here is

1. You should go see a doctor or a therapist (HELL NO!!)
2. You should exercise and you'll feel better.

Beyond that in real life I have told very few people. My wife can't seem to keep her mouth shut about it & I tend to be treated like I'm "fragile" & with kid gloves by those who know about it.

[MiddayNap]

Originally Posted by Eamgr

I've listed a few experiences as anyone else had the following said too them or similar ones.

1. You will get a job or the career you want just don't give up
2. Think positive thoughts and all your negative feelings will go away
3. Don't be sad just be happy
4. It's the depression and anxiety talking
5. Do something you enjoy and then you will be happy
6. Stop playing the victim
7. Be happier and more people will like you
8. Have more confidence and your more likely to get someone to go out with you
9. Take up a hobby
10. There are people who are much worser off than you.

For those who are not suffering with a mental illness or emotional problems etc. Being happy, enjoying life, having confidence and having full control of their mind is very basic. But they really don't know how difficult it is for people such as ourselves.

One day I know I'm going to flip at someone and say stop judging me

The first two simply seem as though your friends and family are attempting to be supportive in the best way they know how. Perhaps we should learn to appreciate we have people who care enough to say such things?

The third is rather silly, but seems harmless enough.

The fourth is absolutely true and I don't understand why it's listed. Sometimes I get anxious people are watching me-and following, I suppose-which is most certainly "the anxiety talking". It may be simplistic, but they at least know how depression and anxiety can alter someone's state of mind. Are you upset because they feel saying that will suffice and don't take proper measures to relieve such thoughts?

Number 5 and 9 are true, though admittedly, it is difficult to become interested in anything when life becomes dis-interesting. Nevertheless, learning new things and keeping a hobby always tends to put my mind in a good place. I think humans need to feel useful, and so we need to keep our minds busy. Again, it seems they were simply trying to help.

Number 6, if coming from the same people the other items listed are attributed to, might indicate the frustration of attempting to help someone who refuses to be helped. That, or it indicates an *** with no understanding of your situation, yet who believes (s)he does.

Number 7 is true, as it would make you more approachable. Again, I understand how difficult it is to be happy when your brain won't let you, but don't we have to, at some point, make the choice to be happy? Or at least not miserable? Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want more people to like them, but if you complained of loneliness, perhaps they were attempting to give good advice.

Number 8 is much like number 7, true, though difficult to reach. It's easy enough to tell someone to "be confident" or "be happy". For some people it comes naturally; for others practice is needed. But you must work at it.

The only item I truly, 100 percent reject, is number 10. The sorrow of another does not make your own sorrow any less valid. Let's imagine a boy whose dog has just been hit by a car. The next town over, a man's young son has just been hit by a car. Will knowledge of the grieving man the next town over stop the boy from feeling sorrow over the death of his dog?

I hope I didn't come off as rude, as this is sort of my version of being supportive. I sincerely hope it comes off that way and that this forum is helping you improve your mental health.

[Fizzyo]

Originally Posted by Eamgr

Anyone ever feel like they are being judge or people are still stigmatising depression and anxiety.

I am finding that rather than just being there for me when I need them or giving me a hug and saying always here for you or it won't last forever which is what you want to receive when your feel down.

I've listed a few experiences as anyone else had the following said too them or similar ones.

1. You will get a job or the career you want just don't give up
2. Think positive thoughts and all your negative feelings will go away
3. Don't be sad just be happy
4. It's the depression and anxiety talking
5. Do something you enjoy and then you will be happy
6. Stop playing the victim
7. Be happier and more people will like you
8. Have more confidence and your more likely to get someone to go out with you
9. Take up a hobby
10. There are people who are much worser off than you.

I probably could list about a hundred but this is what I get from people who claim to be my friends and also from my family. They say they are here for you but when the time comes they either don't really want to know or they just say stuff like above.

For those who are not suffering with a mental illness or emotional problems etc. Being happy, enjoying life, having confidence and having full control of their mind is very basic. But they really don't know how difficult it is for people such as ourselves.

One day I know I'm going to flip at someone and say stop judging me

I agree that pretending things are ok when they are not is completely counterproductive and nothing annoys me more than people who think they have an easy cure for depression.

Equally, sometimes the anxiety and depression shout so load that I see critical and malicious motives and attitudes in people that may not be there.

All I can do is question, question, question.

Is there a grain of truth in what someone says, and if so can I ditch the junk and learn from the one grain?

I think this person said/did this for a certain reason. Could there be any other explanation, different motive? Was it a clumsy attempt to be supportive that triggered my persecution complex? Could there be a less judgemental or vindictive reason for what they did than I assumed?

Even if the worst is true, there is no way of knowing for certain that there isn't a kinder reason than I think for someone's behaviour (unless they tell me so) and considering the less negative alternative reasons/attitudes for what people do helps me feel less pain.

It's not lying that everything is good, but admitting some of my interpretations may be more negative than the intention.

"Incompetence is more common than malice" is a quote I find helps me.

I share your anger that people try to fix us when theyhave no clue what it is like to live in my head! However some do it because they care, which is hard to take but maybe we can find a way to benefit from the fact they do care.😉

❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️

[Clara22]

I agree, they have no clue. Mostly, they have good intentions but to me it was so stressful to listen to some of them that I just had to suspend my relationship with some of them. It was hard but sometimes this type of comments brings a lot of anxiety and I could not manage it.

[Fuzzybear]