[DechanDawa]

Has anyone ever tried just ignoring their depression?

I have spent 14 months researching and implementing all kinds of natural remedies. I think I have made some progress in management. But that's about all.

At first I wanted to retrieve feelings of happiness as in the past. After all this time (14 months) I think it is time to put aside the desire for happiness and just get on with life...

[Aardwolf]

I tried. I also failed catastrophically when it caught up with me.

Congratulations on what you have achieved so far, it is no mean feat ! Progress is progress, whichever way you look at it.

You need to find the source of the problem, and tackle that to begin the path of recovery.

When I went through stages doubting if i would ever feel normal again, I found the following quote immeasurably helpful during that time.

"What you think,
you become.
What you feel,
you attract.
What you imagine,
you create."

Good luck on your path to recovery, you can do it !

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

I tried. I also failed catastrophically when it caught up with me.

Congratulations on what you have achieved so far, it is no mean feat ! Progress is progress, whichever way you look at it.

You need to find the source of the problem, and tackle that to begin the path of recovery.

When I went through stages doubting if i would ever feel normal again, I found the following quote immeasurably helpful during that time.

"What you think,
you become.
What you feel,
you attract.
What you imagine,
you create."

Good luck on your path to recovery, you can do it !

Thanks so much. I am not in therapy but I think the root cause is grief. My sister died and it seems the depression kicked in about six months after she died, but it wasn't just about her, it was loss on many levels. I tried (unsuccessfully) to find a grief counselor. I was "refused" by my local grief center for counseling because they said I had "complicated grief issues" and I kind of gave up after that. It has only been very recently that I have been bringing these issues into the light to examine them. Another problem was I tried contacting family members to discuss feelings around losing my sister, and it was shocking how invalidating everyone was. So coming from a family of origin that is so invalidating of basic emotions like grief...no wonder I have been messed up. Thank you so much for your supportive comments. It was like a ray of sunshine in a bleak, dark atmosphere.

I ignored it as much as possible for years. Tried to just keep on doing what I should with life. School, job etc. It got harder and harder to cope though and things got worse than ever. Things got pretty dark for a long time.

I'm doing better now, but heading back into the mindset of I don't need help, can just get on with life and everything will be fine. Hopefully history won't repeat itself.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

I ignored it as much as possible for years. Tried to just keep on doing what I should with life. School, job etc. It got harder and harder to cope though and things got worse than ever. Things got pretty dark for a long time.

I'm doing better now, but heading back into the mindset of I don't need help, can just get on with life and everything will be fine. Hopefully history won't repeat itself.

I found your comment very interesting. In the past I pretty much coped with adversity on my own. I would have short-term therapy that was usually more an inconvenience than helpful.

With this last depression I have spent 14 months trying everything...getting help, primary care providers, online, blah, blah, blah.

I really don't know if there was any difference between getting so-called help or just forging on. Just wading through.

I wish the best for you. You sound like a strong person.

[Aardwolf]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Thanks so much. I am not in therapy but I think the root cause is grief. My sister died and it seems the depression kicked in about six months after she died, but it wasn't just about her, it was loss on many levels. I tried (unsuccessfully) to find a grief counselor. I was "refused" by my local grief center for counseling because they said I had "complicated grief issues" and I kind of gave up after that. It has only been very recently that I have been bringing these issues into the light to examine them. Another problem was I tried contacting family members to discuss feelings around losing my sister, and it was shocking how invalidating everyone was. So coming from a family of origin that is so invalidating of basic emotions like grief...no wonder I have been messed up. Thank you so much for your supportive comments. It was like a ray of sunshine in a bleak, dark atmosphere.

I understand grief very well from a personal standpoint. Not having professional help can be very difficult as you don't know which way to turn with it. Are you familiar with the stages of grief ? ?

It is good that you are recognising the need to challenge, analyse and understand the emotions you are feeling. It is the only way in which you can move forwards.

I have no prior knowledge of your family so i cannot comment, however it is likely they will be dealing with grief as well, and as such will be unsuitable to assist as it is. I may well be incorrect, apologies if this is the case.

If you get on with a member on here, who is suitably grounded and stable, they may well be able to listen to you in depth and offer pointers for which way to go ?

You could always try attending the centre again, however just state the prime problem for the grief you have, then work from there ?

Keep it up, you're an amazingly strong person for accepting you need help.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

I understand grief very well from a personal standpoint. Not having professional help can be very difficult as you don't know which way to turn with it. Are you familiar with the stages of grief ? ?

It is good that you are recognising the need to challenge, analyse and understand the emotions you are feeling. It is the only way in which you can move forwards.

I have no prior knowledge of your family so i cannot comment, however it is likely they will be dealing with grief as well, and as such will be unsuitable to assist as it is. I may well be incorrect, apologies if this is the case.

If you get on with a member on here, who is suitably grounded and stable, they may well be able to listen to you in depth and offer pointers for which way to go ?

You could always try attending the centre again, however just state the prime problem for the grief you have, then work from there ?

Keep it up, you're an amazingly strong person for accepting you need help.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

Thank you. Yes, I am familiar with the stages of grief. As I said, I think it was my sister's death that initiated the depressive episode, but then it kind of snowballed. In truth, I could probably use the services of a good therapist or counselor, but I believe that an unskilled person could do more harm than good.

I don't know. Your comments suggest I might just need to go on, to go forward.

Something I know about myself is that I seem to grieve longer than the normal person. This was the case with my mother's death, and it seemed to be the case with my sister's death. She was a very important figure in my life, and a very complex individual. Yes, it was really a great loss.

I think maybe...I am just taking longer...to recover. That's why this is called "complicated grief" --- not everyone experiences grief this way, but some do. Some never recover, which is quite sad. I don't intend to be that kind of person.

Thank you for your insightful words of wisdom.

[Aardwolf]

Thank you. Yes, I am familiar with the stages of grief. As I said, I think it was my sister's death that initiated the depressive episode, but then it kind of snowballed. In truth, I could probably use the services of a good therapist or counselor, but I believe that an unskilled person could do more harm than good.

I would be inclined to agree with you regarding a professional. Oddly the best person i found to give me directional guidance was a Police Community Support Officer who i once had a couple of run in's with years before !

I don't know. Your comments suggest I might just need to go on, to go forward.

In short, yes. However please don't think that moving on is the same as forgetting, or detaching yourself. It is very easy to feel guilt when dealing with grief.

Something I know about myself is that I seem to grieve longer than the normal person. This was the case with my mother's death, and it seemed to be the case with my sister's death. She was a very important figure in my life, and a very complex individual. Yes, it was really a great loss.

I would (personally) look at it as a learning opportunity. I appreciate your Sister was an important figure in your life. Why not take ideas or traits and live on with them ? I like to think that when my time comes, someone somewhere will have learnt something they can put to good use ?

I think maybe...I am just taking longer...to recover. That's why this is called "complicated grief" --- not everyone experiences grief this way, but some do. Some never recover, which is quite sad. I don't intend to be that kind of person.

I'm glad you are thinking that way. Positive thinking can be incredibly powerful !

Thank you for your insightful words of wisdom.

I'm glad I can be of help ! If If you ever need more waffle, please feel free to PM me !

[DechanDawa]

It helps just to throw out these things on Psych Central and get feedback. Such wonderful people in this community. Thank you!