In order to save sanity, no other choice but homelessness

In some of my other threads, I've talked about living with my "father". Well now I've been put out of his house too because he is trying to move his girlfriend in, only to return to my narcissistic mother's house. But this time I am told I will have to pay $100 rent including utilities. While the golden child, my sister, does not. I know that I am an adult (24 years old) and some people say that adult children should pay to live at their parents house. However, my 23 year old sibling does not have to pay.

I am at the end of the road. Family has turned their back against me, not knowing my mother's intentions of creating a scapegoat and a golden child. I have no friends to vent to either. I am told not to bring up being treated unfairly or else I will have to be homeless and go to a shelter.

I am also told I have to pay Sallie Mae for a degree I didn't even earn yet. I really hate life but it sucks we are not allowed to post what we really feel like doing when we have nowhere or nobody to turn to.

I don't know why I am targeted. I don't know why life has to be so hard 4 me and not for others. Why do my parents just not care about me? Why does no one understand me?? I hate both of my ****ing parents and my entire family.

... ...

Please don't resort to what it is I think you're referring to because you feel you have nobody or nowhere to turn to ...

LGBT Switchboard Houston - the Montrose Center

I tried to find something in your area that could address many of the issues you are facing and hope you will find the courage to make that call.

Please don't let your toxic family of origin win this war by having you surrender your life to them ...

They don't deserve that kind of victory!

You won't believe how empowering it will be to kick them to the curb instead of the other way around!

Be A Hero For Yourself & Make That Call ... !!!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

I'm sorry you're going through this.

$100 a month is dirt cheap for rent. You can barely stay in the worst flea bag motel for 3 days for that.

It's not at all unreasonable to expect a grown child to contribute to the costs of maintaining a home. Stop blaming everyone, grow up and take responsibility for yourself. If you do, you'll get ahead in life. If you don't, you will end up homeless.

And btw, I worked for a homeless organization for 2.5 years several years ago, and believe me, they didn't allow the tenants to get away with crap. They had a caseworker they answered to. If they didn't pay their rent, they were evicted. If they weren't working, the organization helped them find a job including working in the daycare for homeless children. It was tough love, and some people were helped. Others left because they didn't want to learn to be responsible for themselves.

I'm not normally confrontational and I'm not trying to start an argument, but this is a little bit harsh for someone who is contemplating what I THINK they're contemplating.

Do you REALLY think that people who always take responsibility for their life end up in good situations and get ahead in life? That's an interesting statement to make that I disagree with 100%. You can do all the right things in life and still end up in bad situations. I see it in my Survivors of Incest Anonymous group. I see it with the clients I work with at my counseling externship. I basically see it everyday. So, again, I disagree with that.

I don't think the OP is trying to run away from responsibility. The problem seems to be that the OP's parents seem to favor their sibling and I also don't think it's fair that their sibling, who is very similar to their age, gets to live for free. We don't know the OP's story so we shouldn't be harsh. Everyone is fighting a battle, you know?

Sorry, I'm not normally one to respond to things such as this but this rubbed me the wrong way and I don't think it's what a person who's contemplating taking their own life needs to read.

Sorry you're having a rough time.

A twenty-three year old who is capable of going to college can and should be expected support him or herself.

If the parents favor the other sibling, that's too bad, but the OP needs to learn now that life isn't fair, and his/her boss will favor employees, he/she will probably favor one child or pet over another, etc., etc. The OP needs to stop making excuses like claiming he/she will become homeless over being asked to pay $100 a month in rent. If she/he would live on the street instead of paying that, he/she deserves it. And if he/she doesn't think $100 is fair, why doesn't the OP find a roommate and split the cost of an apartment. Depending on where he/she lives, they'd being doing good to find a room to rent for less than $400 a month. The OP needs to face reality when it comes to finances.

And if this offends you, I'm sorry. This is why so many people my age [baby boomer] are stuck with kids who refuse to grow up so we can't retire as our 30 year olds are utterly unable to fend for themselves. When I was 23, I was married, pregnant and buying my second home. My parents didn't give me squat, or if they did, I signed a promissory note and paid it back with interest. And no, my one child has been self-supporting since he was a teenager.

In response to those who are judging and blaming the creator of this thread for finding themselves where they are at this moment in time ... NONE OF US are the OP! ... Therefore, we cannot say where they ought to be or what they ought to be doing at this stage of their life ... When a family is toxic and abusive, and predating upon one member of the family, it changes things ... Beyond learned helplessness is learned hopelessness ... We may be functioning okay at one level, say college, for a while as everything else around us is falling apart, but eventually it will all come tumbling down under the weight of a load that nobody can continue to carry alone ... It's very difficult to see a way out when you're constantly being told you aren't of value, will fall flat on your face and that nobody but your abusers will ever be there for you or help you out ... When that message has been beaten into you and absorbed by you since you were a small child, then that is what you believe ... You also believe the only way out is what the OP is contemplating ... I know the truth about what I'm saying because it took me 33.5 years to escape mine (via an attempt on my own life that thankfully failed), and I'm still working on getting myself "whole" as I approach the 23rd Anniversary of my "healing" process this coming Tuesday ... It is unkind, harsh and rude to attempt to blame and judge this person whose facing a life and death crisis, so perhaps it would behoove those who make further contributions to this thread to remember the old adage about if we can't say anything helpful, then perhaps we shouldn't be saying anything at all ... God forbid any of us contribute that last straw to the unbearable weight of the bale this person is already carrying!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

To the original thread poster. I have had to make that choice myself before. I have lived in my vehicle before, a couple times actually. I once bought an old van and lived in it for a few years. I understand when $100 is the difference, I understand when $10 is the difference.

I hope you ignore some of the mean, cold hearted comments that have appeared in the comments to your post. Nobody knows what anyone elses situation is like for them, or how much more they can take before they can't do it all properly anymore. I know the stress of college, it's why I have one fourth of a degree. Sometimes something has got to give, in order to keep dealing with other things.

I hope you can find a solution that allows you to keep moving forward, or at least hold the ground you have till you are able to feel better.

I like what you are saying to gonegirl....she is hurting

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I do hope things get better for you.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. I was kicked out of the house when I was 18 and I ended up joining the military. This was before I was diagnosed with MI, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten in.

I don't think it's really that simple either - do you really think it's so black and white and always so

Thanks for posting... I'm too "useless" to use this many words. (Sorry not meaning to be sarcastic to you or anyone really... The post you responded to rubbed me up the wrong way too.. My stuff )

Gentle hugs to the op (I also was the "demon" child, so so bad and treated like ****..)

Hi gonegirl,
Hope this awful situation opens new opportunities for you. It is hard to realize that our family members are not supportive. Also unequal treatment for siblings is more common than we think. At the end of the day we discover that our parents are just human beings, sometimes they are too flawed. We need to put up with it and go ahead with our lives. Sometimes, in doing so, we discover we are stronger than we thought.
I strongly believe this place is for us to express ourselves in the way we need. We can come here and bring all our weakness. We do not need to be judged or reprimanded but embraced and encouraged.
I believe you can improve your life and be better. Please, do not hesitate to post here again and again. I will do it, as well. This is a safe space.
Sending you a big hug