It's your fault. You're getting what you deserve.

It's true. The title says it all. It is my fault. If I were stronger I wouldn't have these problems. If I hadn't screwed up then I would be better off. I have brought this on myself.
No matter what I do others will suffer because of me. If I end my life then others will suffer, emotionally, financially, physically, because of what I did. If I continue to live then they will continue to suffer, maybe not to the same extent, because of what I'm going through. If I were stronger this never would have happened in the first place. So I do deserve what I'm getting.

I was just saying this yesterday when I took myself to the local behavioral hospital for an evaluation.

Hello Humpty Dumpty

The fact that you fear hurting others shows just how good a person you are Of course, depression will disagree, but thats exactly what it does, it removes what's real and beautiful about you and instead it convinces you about false ideas like saying that you're a terrible person (Which clearly you're not!)

I have the same exact thoughts, it feels like you're on an edge, almost falling and almost climbing up, which is a very confusing place to be However, we're all here for you, you're part of us, you're one of the beautiful family of PC, our family!

If you saw someone else post this (me, Fuzzy or whoever) would you agree that it was that person's fault that all of this is happening?
I know it's difficult to see beyond what the veil allows. You know I do and you've helped me through many nights when it was at it's worse. That's not a weak person. A person who had this coming wouldn't be able to set aside their own thoughts to help a friend like how you've helped me. Hell, they wouldn't consider doing it. You're a good man who doesn't deserve this and you sure as hell aren't weak for feeling this way. To carry this burden, I think if anything, that makes you strong. Stronger than you realize.

That sounds like some old hard wired messages to me (inner critic) ... I encourage you to challenge this critic every chance you get ... For me, it was my toxic family of origin ... I now tell them (literally and out loud) to "shut-up", "get out", & "you're not welcome here anymore" all the time ... It empowers me to take the wind out of their sails like that! ... I hope you can figure out the source of your inner critic and disempower them too!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

It is not your fault.. it's your depression that makes you believe that. Please, think of that. You're a good person who cares about others and is willing to help. I hope you'll feel better soon.