[wisewoman]

yesterday and today have been hard. I have been very depressed and anxious. Yesterday I slept as much as I could and today I went to a friend's house for a part of the day. Depressed because I am still dealing with med changes and life is depressing. Anxious because I am stil dealing with med changes and I have to figure out how to be this highly functional person by the time I have to go back to work in three weeks. My body started shaking a few hours ago when I called home to check on the family and Hubby was complaining about stupid trivial stuff he could deal with but was overwhelmed so he dumps it on me who gets overwhelmed deciding if I need to pee or not and I just started shaking. Seriously, there were lots of flys in the building where my rabbits are and I have been meaning to ask him to set up the big fan. He took a while to wrap his mind around that and then was freaking because he couldn't find the fly spray concentrate. I told him I knew I had a gallon that cost $27.00. Then he said if anyone had fly strike{if you don't know, better not to ask} he was not going to deal with it. so yeah, I can deal with it because I can take care of everything. So far he hasn't checked them for fly strike and I will have to go do it. On a positive note, I made another creation today. Cute and fun and distracted me a bit. I need some mohair to finish it up. My t spoke with the doc earlier and I am upping drugs and adding drugs and I am sick of feeling like the stuff the rabbits make that I put in the garden. Good for the garden, not for me.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wisewoman}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hang in there and take it day by day... even minute by minute. Stop worrying about the future and what may or may not happen. Boy, do I know those symptoms!

Tell your hubby to do the same thing when he starts getting overwhelmed.

Remember, you're Wisewoman!! LOL Yeah, I know! I know!



<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

Only wish I were as wise with myself as I seem to be able to be with others. Wisdom to figure out that something needs to change in my life or I am not going to make it. Time to live a new life without the fears that run my life. Time to find joy.

[cleomaru]

you know yo udon't "have" to go back to work in three weeks, if you're not ready you're not ready, you've got time, try to slow down a little, look up some things on mindfulness

"don't kick the puppy" ~ j.e.p.

[wisewoman]

Some better, my son is home from living out of state. He came to get his car fixed. He is developing into a wonderful young man. He is kind to his depressed mother. I can hear them all down there raising a liitle ah-fun. They are all going out so the house is mine, all mine tonight! I do like solitude. Drugs seem to be helping. My thought process is still slow and muddy. ho hum. Better then what it has been like.

[SeptemberMorn]

I'd sure be wanting to go raise some... uh... "fun" with them!

Never could understand why my oldest son wouldn't take me with him. He'd just TELL me about it! Only time he took me was when I helped him and his friend place a cast-off toilet on the top of the school gym roof! LOL I was the driver... I had blackend their faces so they wouldn't be seen. I didn't have to do anything to mine... Sheeesh! No fun!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

You are too funny. My son wanted to put the ducks in the school his senior year and I wouldn't let him for fear he'd land in trouble. One of my girls is out on her first real "date". Yikes. Of course brother dear had to tell her of his conquests when he was that age. She is very young for her age and hopefully has the sense to behave. The other is in a play with hubby and uncle and is off to rehearsal. House is quiet. I quess I am doing okay and that is a good thing. Got a card from the financial manager at the office today. That was very sweet. He is exactly what you think of a finanancial manager being. Once told me a post it was 2 cents each. So, his thoughtfulness is very dear. Office newsletter said I was out on "family leave" I guess they thought they wouldn't tell everyone I hit the wall and flew over the cuckoo's nest huh? Geez. If I hadn't of left work when I did I think something bad would have happened. I was pretty far against that ole wall. I had a bad dream about my deceased foster daughter this morning. It will be 5 years next month since she died. I think my pot got too full and I couldn't deal anymore. life has been pretty overwhelming. I know it's like that for most of us here. Anyway, thanks for the chuckle Sept. I'll take you out to raise some ah-fun.

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL We'll have to get the kids to tell us of their "fun" times so we can get into some trouble, just like them. teehee

I'm glad you're doing well alone while everyone else is out. Quiet Time! YAY!!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

Home alone again for a little while. Noticing that when I remember to take the Klonopin on time I don't get to that horrible anxious ptsd who knows place. Depession seems better somewhat. It's all a crap shoot. I want to hear a funny story or a good joke or something. I went to a yard sale and may have gotten snow board boots my son can use for 6$6.00. They are good boots, hope they fit. I helped a friend with her computer. Still don't understand how they keep crashing it but... I bought more food for my ever starving family and I am alone in bed with my laptop wondering how to keep myself on an even keel. It's not like the ptsd stuff is pure and clear. It is all of the ways of coping that are so screwed up now, don't work. It's the dreams and it's the flippin depression. AGHHHHH

[SeptemberMorn]

Sounds like you coped very well! It does get tougher when all is quiet, though. I always suggest that if a person doesn't have a hobby or a favorite craft, to go looking for something. Experiment. You never know what you might find that will completely surprise you and that you're good at. How about scrapbooking? It would keep your mind in the now if you start with "now" subjects.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>