[ARflowerstar]

I'm done! What people don't understand is that just because I'm receiving help doesn't mean everything will always be okay! I can't talk to my friends because they think I'm completely fine! My dad gets mad at me because I "should be totally fine by now" WHY don't people understand? I still feel like ****! And no I am not getting better. I don't want to reach my 16th birthday. It's only a few months away. I don't think things will ever get better. I just want to die so bad. I want to be over. I have been feeling so horrible and nothing helps. I've tried so many medications, tried therapy, NOTHING WORKS. I'm so done. I'm tired. I'm just so tired of everything. I feel like I have nobody to talk to. I have a secret "depressing" account on Instagram and theres like a million people on there and I have 2 thousand followers on that. I have some friends on there but I can't talk to them. I don't want them to feel sad. I know people care. I know people would be sad if I leave. It's not that. I just can't deal with this anymore. I'm not staying strong for myself, I'm staying strong for others. And I'm sorry, but I can't hold on anymore. People are telling me it'll pass, and I know for some it will, but not for me. Don't tell me it will, because it won't. Don't tell me my thoughts are being distorted by depression, because I can see the truth. Honestly I've been trying so hard for so long. Nobody understands. I understand that people know I'm struggling, I know that psychiatrists would think that my thoughts are being distorted and that I can't see is that living is the best option and that once I beat depression I'll look back and see that I should be glad that I survived. They know it's painful, but they don't know what that FEELS like. It's ****ing torture. I am struggling, and I can't hold on any longer. Yes, suicide is a "permanent solution for a temporary problem" but I can't get through the temporary problem. I don't care if its temporary. I can't get through this. I give up. I really do. I am so done. I'm. ****ing. Done.

I know how it feels.
People don't understand the meaning of feeling bad towards life, thinking that it can only be seen brightly.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your feelings. Forge an independent self, mind less what others say or think about you.
Depression does not distort thoughts, it adds or overlaps others. Depression is a state of mind, a state of mind between you and the world.
There are many people who feel defeated by the hands of the outer world.

It has not been an easy fight for me. I'm still in wariness, questioning what is up next. But I can tell you I feel allot better.
I have been forging myself from within, taking decisions of my own, from small to the biggest I have for now.
Enjoy your own solidarity, find a better life not for others, but for yourself first and foremost.

I'd love to listen to your vents, thoughts and feelings and further encourage you to believe in everything that you feel.
But do not give up. Fight for your right.

[Skeezyks]

[MommaD]

I am so sorry you're in such a dark place right now. I wish I had some words of wisdom that would ease your pain and give you hope again. But I don't. Ive been where you are and it sucks.

Sometimes you can't stay strong for yourself. Ok I get that. Then stay strong for others, like you've been doing--for just a little longer. Just until you can stay strong for yourself.

For what it's worth, I'm sending you thoughts of comfort and healing and peace in the hopes that tomorrow may be just the tiniest bit better. And if you need to rant, rant away. I'm listening

[Fuzzybear]

[Artchic528]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but remember, suicide is a very selfish decision.

[Sunlaien]

I know how hard it can be to not only be dealing with depression but feeling like you have no one to talk to and no one who understands. But we understand. I understand. I hate when people tell me how I should be feeling. Ask me to take just one more med or see one more therapist. When I try to tell them it's not working, it's me who they blame. They tell me I'm not trying hard enough. But as we know, just getting through each and every day is a feat. Just surviving is a true accomplishment.

I don't have any miracle answer for you but I will say that becoming an adult and being able to make my own decisions made it bearable. I spent the last two years of adolescence essentially locked in my room. It was a dark time. But I look at what I've accomplished since then-- holding on, and it is different. I still deal with the frustration of feeling alone but at least I am my own keeper. I make my own decisions. I control my own destiny. That has helped me.

I wish you luck and strength. And please know you're not alone. You have us here. And we will always listen.

[Misterpain]

It is always darkest before Dawn, you need to push on , there are many people who are experiencing what you are , and have been for a good many years , don't give up on yourself , especially when it feels like everyone else has already , only you can change you and you have to be around to do it , you have to be your own best friend and your best advocate , please use the frustration as motivation to keep going, life can get better being so young it's hard to beleive ,but it truly can , and if the people around you expect you to be magicaly all better, they obviously don't know what they are talking about and probably have not been thru this themselves, so they don't understand it. You need to at least keep fighting till your an adult , much of being a teen is stress that goes away when you get older.