Feel worse on days off....

Hi everyone,

I have chronic depression, anxiety, and ADHD that was diagnosed in my late 20s.(I'm in my early 30s now).Outwardly i am very successful except for being obese. I have a good job, a husband, and a daughter who just turned 1. But I just never seem to feel right no matter what I do. I moved recently to a new town and I have a new pdoc. It took my old pdoc years to come up with an ADHD diagnosis, but when he did it really seemed to fit. My new pdoc is convinced that all my problems are related to my ADHD. He has me on a stimulant and it's like he wants that to cure all my problems or I should go off of it. I think it does help but I am definitely still depressed and anxious. And I also discovered I have thyroid issues, and I am working to get that treated. They just increased my Med dose.

But anyway, it's so weird. I like my job and it's a good one, although there are some things about it that make me feel overwhelmed. But generally I do better on days when I am working and busy. It's like I don't really want to go to work but if I am busy I do better. My husband and I are both kind of home bodies and we don't do much on weekends. But I always find myself getting anxious or depressed and having some kind of a breakdown almost every weekend. I know the obvious answer is to keep myself busy but it doesn't seem to work. I guess I don't try hard enough to do it. Instead I just allow myself to be overwhelmed by chores that didn't get done during the week. Does anyone have a problem with their symptoms worsening on weekends? It is so depressing that the time I have to live my life and do what I want to do is spent feeling like crap most weekends. Thoughts?

When my brain chemistry is especially off, I have a hard time on days off, too.

I recommend getting some really good exercise, even if your chores don't all get done. What brings you joy? I love to turn on loud music and dance and sing to it. Maybe something like that would help you on days off. Do you do anything creative? Maybe creating art would be good for you, too. I'm just thinking you need to ignite your passions. And also keep your pdoc up to date about your symptoms. I hope you get relief soon!!

I totally get the difficulty on days off. I work as a school employee now, so I have many more days off than I used to. That being said, some days off are okay, but others are absolutely awful. In my support group last Wednesday we talked about how many of us love to do art but rarely have the motivation. I really want to get more intentional to pushing myself to just start working on something. I would say the same for you, too. Find something that you enjoy. If you have to try fifty different activities, just keep trying. When you find the one thing that you enjoy it is SO worth it. However, do know that there will be days where it's tough to enjoy... I know that is the case for me very often. But keep at it! I know the struggle. I'm not doing well right now, but I do know that once I push myself to get going it will make all the difference in the world.

For me, I need the days off to recover from work, but also get overwhelmed by chores i have to do outside of work. During the work week, I don't have choices. I have to work. It is the conflict during time off between chores and needing relaxation time that makes it difficult to feel good about myself. I like the suggestions above about doing something creative and enjoyable ...it would help give the break from work, but is also active and may energize you to take on other things.

You've said you already tried to keep yourself busy but it didn't work. Have you tried to do some sort of agenda?

I think getting exercise is great advice. In fact I should probably find a way to spend a couple hours on my days off doing some sort of exercise ideally. I love swimming but haven't gone since I moved here. I need to find a new gym.

I don't know about an agenda. I sometimes plan my weekends out, my husband likes to know in advance of plans. But I am kind of a spontaneous person and feeling like I am too scheduled is overwhelming to me. It's like I can't find the happy medium of being able to relax but still actually keep busy enough on weekends.

My husband and I have been having some tough times but we really love each other and are working it out. Right now he hasn't found a job and is home with our baby since we moved, we aren't sure if he will go back to work or not. But we were fighting a ton about him not doing hardly any chores and I still was expected to work full time and basically do 90 percent of the cooking, shopping, and cleaning which in my mind is bull ****. He is doing better now with "helping" but I still feel like all the planning and making sure things get done falls on me. And I still do well over half the work of the household even though he's home. He has mental health issues also and he plays video games way too much! I asked him to help me unpack but he has to finish something on his game...

Anyway as for what brings me joy, I have a hard time finding hobbies. When I was younger I kind of went a little crazy and got my pilots license and scuba diving certification in one year. But i don't really do those things anymore. Flying is super expensive and I am kind of afraid to do it now. My dad died in a car accident a few years ago and it totally changed me. I have dogs and like spending time with them. I tried to get into training and agility stuff with them but I always thought dog trainers were so stuck up and I just didn't seem to fit in. I sort of like cooking, and like going to movies but we don't do that much since we have the baby. How the heck do you find hobbies you actually enjoy? I think it's kind of ADHD related but I just can't seem to get into anything. And I don't have a lot of extra energy (thyroid related I think..)

Thanks for your suggestions Everyone

I feel crap most weekends too, it's been worse lately actually, every sunday I crash and feel so miserable. I think for me it has to do with people being home with the families and I'm not, and it makes me feel lonely. I like weekdays the best.