What do you do?

What do you do when your scared of living but your also scared of dying? because... this is the way I feel. I have nobody absolutely nobody really who I can talk to in person who really understands me. I really need someone my age also. I am really starting to give some serious thought to getting a dr. in the future. Whenever I go out, its always with family now,which is cool every now and then but it gets old not having anyone else. and i look around and all the people I see are with a bunch of friends their age or their boyfriends or girlfriends. where the heck did mine go? he left. and now its over. it wouldnt be fair to be with anyone else anyways, because all i would think of is my ex. I have no good friends as of right now. I have friends but none that I talk to about my problems. the ones that i can talk to that I am closest to have moved away and are in different states. I only have one close friend here, and he is a guy..sometimes i need another girl to talk to also, although he is really helpful and knows where I'm coming from. Really i dont even get to see him that much though and Im so busy. I feel so freakin alone. Its just like that song... "feels like forever sitting all alone inside your head". It really does. I feel like its only me..only my mind, sitting all alone up here in my head. and im scared to die, but im also scared to live. I feel like all I can be is here..in the middle of everything and there is nothing left to do except be here. i was thinking about this lastnight and im so sick of this. apparently this will never end. does anyone else feel like this?

((((((((((ally))))))))))

I can totally relate to how you're feeling. Reading yr post brought tears to my eyes, as you verbalised tah which I haven't been able too.
PM me anytime you want to talk or vent.

Soft, gentle huggs

thank you so much. i really just need someone. im so sick of feeling alone and feeling like i cant go anywhere mentally. ((((silentlyscreaming))))

Hang in there Ally, life is so precous, I\we often forget. Love yourself has we do, you will make it thru

Luv ya,,,

Tucker

wow, I know just how you feel, you want to talk, but you think people might not understand. Please, talk to me if you need, trust me, a person with a numb soul really knows how you feel.

lelem135

I hear you ally88!

You an'me, we sweat an' strain,
Body all achin' an' racket wid pain,
Tote dat barge!
Lif' dat bale!
Git a little drunk
An' you land in jail.

Ah gits weary
An' sick of tryin'
Ah'm tired of livin'
An' skeered of dyin',
But ol' man river,
He jes'keeps rolling' along.

Paul Robeson, "Ol' Man River" from Showboat

"im scared to die, but im also scared to live. I feel like all I can be is here..in the middle of everything and there is nothing left to do except be here. i was thinking about this lastnight and im so sick of this. apparently this will never end. does anyone else feel like this? " Yes, I have a feeling lots of us either are experiencing it now, or have. You're not alone. That "nothingness" is such an awful place to be. I would recommend that you do find a doc - preferrably a therapist - who understands and can help you navigate through this painful, uneasy time. We're here for you too. Hang in and take good care of you. Blessings, Etheria

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ally88 said:
What do you do when your scared of living but your also scared of dying?

where the heck did mine go? he left. and now its over. it wouldnt be fair to be with anyone else anyways, because all i would think of is my ex.

Really i dont even get to see him that much though and Im so busy.

apparently this will never end. does anyone else feel like this?

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Ally, I am happy to hear you are scared of dying, and that you are "so busy." Was this your first serious boyfriend?? I assume you must have been together for a good while. Is the aloneness due to the fact that you don't have a boyfriend while everyone around you does? And, contrary to how you feel at this moment in time, the feelings will "end." The feelings will diminish over time. And, yes, I am sure you are not alone in your feelings...at least that is what the posts above sound like.

Tucker said to love yourself. Maybe this is a good time for you to take time to do just for you, find out who you are post-breakup.

I am far from being a teenager, but I do have a 17-yr old grand who is in her first long-term boyfriend relationship...if that helps at all
Carolyn

Yes, this was my first serious boyfriend, we dated for a little over 2 years. I am alone because of that , but also I have no friends here to hang out with or to help me with my problem. well, thanks for trying to help..but i've had nothing but people trying to tell me that it will end for the past 9 months and it never does. All i do is wait, wait , wait, all the darn time. im sick of it. I might as well face the facts, i'll be this way forever. And i know the way I am, and the way I feel, it will never end, unless there is a change for the better. Its not that I dont want to feel good, its that I cant. been in this misery now for 9 months, I dont see an end and I dont see better days. apparently this is the future I have to look forward to.