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#26
Mar 11, 2017, 08:48 PM
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The fact is, sometimes when a person has a plan to do it and no intention of trying otherwise, nothing anyone says or does will change the outcome. I lost people too, no matter what I tried, they weren't going to change. I gave it my all and they still did it. To say it hurts is an understatement. We go into fields like that to save people and are trained by personal and other's experiences. All of the training in the world can't teach someone to watch a person die. You could already know this and what I'm saying here doesn't mean a damn thing, but I'll say it anyway. Those people dying, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your failure. It isn't blood on your hands. It is tragic and traumatizing and I'm sorry you had to experience it.
I wish you didn't want to join them. I wish you wanted to keep fighting for another way. I wish you had a job where suicide wasn't the central focus. I can't be there to keep all dangerous weapons and substances away from you. I can't pull you back over the railing. I can't support you after the chair is kicked. All I can offer to you is being here, now. It's all I got and it's yours if you'll have it.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
 Clara22, East17
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#27
Mar 11, 2017, 08:48 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#28
Mar 11, 2017, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#29
Mar 11, 2017, 08:53 PM
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Would anyone want witness suicide see them drop 500 feet see them hit rocks and point there body out to coast guard
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#30
Mar 11, 2017, 08:54 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#31
Mar 11, 2017, 08:55 PM
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Do you remember the people you saved who didn't go back? Who are still alive because of what you did. I've found that's one of the few ways I can deal with it.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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#32
Mar 11, 2017, 09:01 PM
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Easy said but it happens every single day at work if am not out to it or helping I can hear as we all wear radios I can hear 999 lifeboat and police just trigger me of
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#33
Mar 11, 2017, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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#34
Mar 11, 2017, 09:06 PM
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So, all of the antidepressants, talk therapy and/or depression "coping" techniques won't do a damn thing to make the images stop. Make all of the damn memories just shut the hell up. You can't treat it like depression.
Have you been to an actual trauma therapist? Have you attempted EMDR or Brainspotting?
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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#35
Mar 11, 2017, 09:07 PM
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No had help but none of what you suggested
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#36
Mar 11, 2017, 09:09 PM
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Once, I was hospitalized with a young girl. She had diabetes and she had lost her baby recently. She would get in and of the hospital often and would be put in the same room with me every time. Before Christmas she said: "they gave me this 'Christmas holidays'. I am going home for 15 days. I am going to eat all the prohibited stuff and I will come back to die here."
And this is exactly what she did. When she came back after Christmas rapidly deteriorated, and then she got peritoneal dialysis. Each time she was submitted to this dialysis she would pull her hair off, scream, curse, beg for death, etc. I suffered a lot for her because she and I had become friends. It was traumatic and my health started to worsen as I was witnessing all her suffering. At certain point, she went to ICU and never came back. |
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#37
Mar 11, 2017, 09:11 PM
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I got so much worse before I actually began treating the trauma. I'm not amazing or 100% better, but I'll take where I am now in comparison to how I was.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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#38
Mar 11, 2017, 09:13 PM
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I did not receive any assistance to overcome that situation. It was just one time and haunted me for years. I cannot imagine your suffering. And anti depression treatment would not work
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#39
Mar 11, 2017, 09:22 PM
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Am on anti depression talblet , I can't look at myself in a mirror cause I no it's not me , I've lost all hope and cofindence in myself that il do anything to end my pain , am an full body organ donor I've signed for anyone or to labs for reasesrch , someone who in need wants be here !
Il be helping no matter how it turns out |
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#40
Mar 11, 2017, 09:25 PM
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I mean, So leigheas is right. There is something you have not tried yet. It is hard because you are your own advocate here and you have to deal with the ignorance of the system (and of some doctors, as well). Let us know if we can be helpful in any way
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#41
Mar 11, 2017, 09:27 PM
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I don't offer false hope. It hurts more than it could ever help. So when I tell you that I think you can recover, that you have a chance to live in this life without the daily agony you're currently in; know that I mean it.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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#42
Mar 11, 2017, 09:28 PM
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Your lose of confidence does not mean that your case has no solution. Sometimes our views are distorted. You know that
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
| PurplePanda999
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#43
Mar 11, 2017, 09:28 PM
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My problem is people who don't understand my suffering, close pals gave up say I only look for attention?
That hurts me ? Got doctors letters from 2012 to this day I've. Been to every support group offered , I've had several sucides attempts am still here ,I wish I wasn't |
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#44
Mar 11, 2017, 09:31 PM
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They do not understand but you have rights. You have the right to be angry at them and get the treatment you need to improve
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
| PurplePanda999
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#45
Mar 11, 2017, 09:32 PM
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By terminating yourself you are directing your anger towards the wrong direction
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 Fuzzybear
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#46
Mar 11, 2017, 09:34 PM
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You are intelligent. I am begging you: postpone your feelings for a while and think. Let the reason speak
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#47
Mar 12, 2017, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
  
__________________
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| kinni11
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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